


Muted Emotions

by silverbyuns



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Exes, Exes to Lovers, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Romance, Sexual Tension, Weddings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-11
Updated: 2019-05-11
Packaged: 2019-10-08 09:44:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 49,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17384144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverbyuns/pseuds/silverbyuns
Summary: When Chanyeol asks Baekhyun to be his date for his cousin's wedding, Baekhyun can't help but to think that a disaster will ensue. Especially when Chanyeol is his first love and his ex, and Baekhyun is not over him.





	1. the invitation

Chanyeol fidgets in his seat; his eyes looking around the restaurant and his fingers clenching and unclenching around the cup in his hands. He can practically hear his heart drumming in his ears. He’s sure that if he makes any sudden movement, he’d throw up his breakfast this morning. That certainly wouldn’t be a good look, considering that he’s in a lavish restaurant with plenty of people around. 

Chanyeol gulps. He sits still, breathes in and out, and tries to calm himself down.

This is stupid. He shouldn’t think too much about this. Yes, Chanyeol knows that he has always been an anxious being by nature, always nervous about the littlest things, but still, this is  _ stupid. _

Chanyeol is so lost in his train of thought that he doesn’t notice that the person he’s waiting for has entered the restaurant.  The said person smiles when he notices Chanyeol. He then makes his way towards Chanyeol and grips his shoulder when he gets there. 

Chanyeol jumps at that, almost spilling the coffee in his hands. He looks up and glares, finding Baekhyun smirking, amused by his reaction.

“You need to calm down,”

“You know I never do that,” Chanyeol huffs, “And how many times did I tell you to not scare me like that?”

“But it’s fun!” Baekhyun grins as he sits across Chanyeol, “You’re cute when you’re flustered!”

Chanyeol rolls his eyes, choosing not to reply because there had been multiple occasions when he a) told Baekhyun that he doesn’t like people startling him that way and b) told Baekhyun that he doesn’t like being called ‘cute’. Baekhyun never takes his warnings seriously, and frankly, Chanyeol doesn’t blame him because he never sounds serious when he warns Baekhyun anyway. 

_ (Besides, Baekhyun smiles so widely when he teases Chanyeol. He giggles so much that it’s hard for him to stop. Chanyeol has always thought that Baekhyun’s smile and laughter reminds him of the summer sun -- warm, bright, comforting -- so he doesn’t mind the teasing at all if it means he gets to see Baekhyun smile and laugh more often) _

Baekhyun grins when he gives the menu back to the waitress after ordering his food. Chanyeol notices how she blushes when Baekhyun thank her for her service and compliment her nails. Baekhyun has always been a people’s person – always so kind, so attentive, so sweet. 

“I gotta say, I’m surprised when you called me to have lunch together,” Baekhyun says, “Thought Sehun’s gonna join us, but he’s meeting Jongdae, so it’s just you and me today, and… well, to what do I owe this pleasure?”

Chanyeol doesn’t blame Baekhyun for being surprised by his invitation. Even if they’re friends and are on good terms now, deep inside, they are yet to move past the awkward stage after their break up. This is all a façade that they put on to ensure that their friends don’t feel weird just because they broke up. 

They believe that they should just fake it until they make it, but although they’d consider themselves friends now, they still haven’t been alone with each other since they called it quits. They mostly rely on their friends to keep the conversations going. Their friends, particularly Sehun and Jongin, are such good friends that their presence eliminates all the awkward tension. Still, when they’re not around, Chanyeol and Baekhyun don’t know what to talk about.

“Fake it until you make it” project is far from complete. They’re still far from being  _ the _ Baekhyun and Chanyeol they once were. 

Don’t get them wrong – they can do with small talks, but considering that they used to be close, it’s crazy how they went from being attached to each other’s hips to…. _ this _ . Sometimes, it’s like they don’t know each other anymore.

If he were to be honest, Chanyeol doesn’t think he will ever get over their breakup. It might be a mutual decision with him initiating it and Baekhyun agreeing to it so easily, which proved that he too, had been thinking about it. Both of them realised how much stress they were putting on each other when they’re together, how their differences were no longer something that they could joke about, how being with each other felt like a chore, and how they seemed to butt heads over the pettiest things. 

The longer they stayed together, the more damage they did to their friendship, so Chanyeol took the easy way out. He’d rather be Baekhyun’s friend than Baekhyun’s nothing.

Still, sometimes he wishes they tried a bit harder. He wishes Baekhyun would fight for him for once. He wishes Baekhyun held on a bit more and be the anchor for once. He loved,  _ loves _ , Baekhyun so much that he’d do anything to make him happy, and even after all this time, it still stings how being free from him was what would make Baekhyun happy.

And Baekhyun  _ is  _ happier now. He’s living his dream. He started on the clothing line he had always talked about. Now, he books multiple gigs with multiple brands and his modelling career takes off like a rocket. And he’s started dating again, much to Chanyeol’s dismay. His relationships rarely last more than a month, but still, Baekhyun’s living his best life.

Chanyeol can’t stay the same for himself. He might be living well financially, but Chanyeol can’t help but to feel empty. Unlike Baekhyun, he hasn’t dated anyone. A part of him misses Baekhyun too much to even think about other people, but a part of him just can’t do it. It feels… wrong. 

“Chanyeol? Hello? Earth to Chanyeol,” Baekhyun waves his palm in front of Chanyeol’s face, “Hey, you okay?”

Chanyeol blinks. 

“Yeah, I’m okay.”

“You sure? Because you look like you’re about to throw up.”

Chanyeol shakes his head, “No, I’m okay. I just –  never mind,” 

“Chanyeollie, it’s me,” Baekhyun says, “You can tell me anything.”

Chanyeol knows that. He knows that he can tell him anything, but right now, he has a favour to ask and he’s not sure if Baekhyun would be kind.

“Sehun said you need a favour,” Baekhyun starts, “Is that what you want to talk about?”

_ Fucking Sehun. _

Still, Chanyeol nods, “Yeah.”

“What is it?”

“Well,” Chanyeol fidgets in his seat, “Remember Somin?” 

“Snobby Somin? Your cousin?”

“Baek, she’s not snobby…”

“She called me poor, tried to get your parents against me, tried to make me feel like shit about myself, acted all high and mighty and made me feel like I didn’t deserve you when we’re together… need I go on?” Baekhyun’s challenges, “Because I can go on about how she’s the snobbiest person I’ve known, and I can go on forever.”

“Baekhyun, she’s getting married,” Chanyeol decides to just spill the truth. 

Baekhyun is caught off-guard. His eyes go wide as saucers before blinking rapidly, mouth open like a fish, his hand rests on his heart.

“No.”

“Yes.”

“ _ No _ . Who in the right mind would marry her?”

“Now you’re just being mean. She’s not  _ that  _ repulsive,” Chanyeol remarks, but at Baekhyun’s disgusted face, he knows that Baekhyun’s opinion about Somin isn’t going to change. Sighing, he continues, “But anyway, she’s getting married and I’m invited to the wedding.”

Baekhyun chuckles, “’Course you are. You’re her  _ favourite _ cousin.”

“Baekhyun, she doesn’t see me that way. Can’t you let that go?”

Baekhyun huffs, “Fine. So, you have to go to the wedding?”

“She’s my cousin, of course I have to go,”

“I don’t understand why you have to. You hate her,”

“I don’t-”

“Yeah you do,” Baekhyun interrupts, “But you’re too nice to say anything.”

Well, he’s not totally wrong. Chanyeol hates how Somin treated Baekhyun but he doesn’t  _ hate _ Somin per se. Hate is too strong of a word because Chanyeol  _ did _ used to like her when he was growing up because she was nicer than she is now. 

He doesn’t like her now, but he doesn’t hate her either. It’s more of a strong dislike, but  _ definitely  _ not hate.

Chanyeol can never hate a family member.

“Somin’s my family, and family means responsibility and responsibility means I can’t get out of attending this wedding,” Chanyeol explains, “I can’t disappoint my aunt. She’d be sad if I skip this.”

Baekhyun nods. He’s not unreasonable, of course he understands Chanyeol’s situation. Chanyeol’s a big family man, always puts his big family first – all before everyone else. Besides, Somin might be annoying, but her mother is a sweet old lady who always praises Baekhyun’s beautiful face.

Baekhyun actually likes Chanyeol’s aunt.

“Then go,” Baekhyun says, “Good luck facing Somin though,”

“Yeah… so, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about,” Chanyeol is even more nervous now, “I- I want you to be my date.”

Silence.

After a few seconds, Baekhyun laughs nervously, “I’m sorry. Could you repeat that? I thought you said that you wanted me to be your date.”

“Yeah, to Somin’s wedding.”

Baekhyun scratches his ear, “W-wait what?”

“I want you to be my date to Somin’s wedding.” Chanyeol repeats.

Baekhyun blinks, “Okay, that doesn’t make any sense because there’s no way that you, Park Chanyeol, would be dumb enough to ask me to go to the wedding of someone I absolutely detest!” 

God, Chanyeol knew that Baekhyun’s going to act like this.

“Look,” he starts, “I know this is a big favour to ask…”

“Big? Try ginormous!”

“But Mom’s been talking about you and she’s looking forward to see you,” Chanyeol continues as if there’s no interruption from Baekhyun, “And my family already knows you and they’d want you there as well.”

“Wait wait  _ wait _ ,” Baekhyun shakes his head, still not understanding, “None of this makes any sense. Why would your family, no, your  _ mother _ , want you to go to Somin’s wedding with me, your _ ex _ ?”

Chanyeol’s face reddens. Baekhyun looks at him intently, trying to wrap his head around this. It takes a while for everything to click, but when it does, Baekhyun gasps.

“You didn’t tell her that we broke up!”

Chanyeol looks down, not meeting Baekhyun’s eyes.

“What the fuck, Chanyeol? Why didn’t you tell her?”

“I couldn’t!” Chanyeol says, “I mean, I keep waiting for the right time, but it never comes, and suddenly Somin’s getting married, and we’re in this mess.”

“Oh no, Park Chanyeol, don’t ‘we’ me when I never asked to be in this!” Baekhyun exclaims, “How hard is it? ‘Hey mom? It’s me, Chanyeol. I broke up with Baekhyun but we’re okay so don’t worry’! See? Easy peasy!”

“Baekhyun, come on…”

“When are you gonna tell her?” Baekhyun asks, “Because she needs to know, and you can’t keep her in the dark forever.”

“I’m not gonna keep her in the dark forever! I _ am _ going to tell her!”

“When?!”

“… after the wedding?”

“Chanyeol, what the hell?!” Baekhyun looks like he’s so close to losing his patience, “Do you even realise how weird this is? I can’t go to your family’s event!”

“Why not? They adore you. They know you are my boyfriend-“

“Were.”

“Excuse me?”

“You used  _ are _ .  _ Were _ , Chanyeol. Past tense.”

Chanyeol feels like his heart is stuck in his throat. He knows they’re over. He has long accepted it. 

But it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt when Baekhyun says it.

“Right. Were. Well, everyone still thinks that we’re dating so…” Chanyeol clears his throat, still not looking at Baekhyun, “Would you? Go with me?”

“No!” Baekhyun shrieks, “It’s weird!”

“No it’s not! Oh come on!” Chanyeol pleads, “It’s just a wedding. We’ll just show up, spend a couple of days there and-”

“A couple of days?!”

“Well, yeah. Mom needs to be there a couple days early and she wants us to go with her because she’s afraid of flight.”

Baekhyun can practically feel his blood pressure rising. He’s sure that if he’s a cartoon character, he’d have smoke coming out of his ears because this is infuriating. Chanyeol is infuriating because  _ he just doesn’t get it. _

“Chanyeol…” Baekhyun starts patiently, “You’re not helping yourself right now. Just stop,” he raises a hand when Chanyeol opens his mouth to interrupt, “Just stop and  _ think _ about what you’re asking from me.”

Chanyeol looks so clueless that Baekhyun knows that he needs to put some sense into Chanyeol’s head himself.

“Chanyeol…” Baekhyun sighs exasperatedly, “I have work. I have things to do. You can’t expect me to drop everything and be available at your convenience. It’s not like I’m free to be there for your family when you could’ve made things easier for yourself by coming clean to your mom. And not to mention, this is a terrible idea. You’re asking me to lie to your family! To pretend to be someone I no longer am!

Chanyeol is silent for a while, but then he slowly says, “So, is that a no?”

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Baekhyun mutters, “Of course it’s a no!”

Chanyeol sighs. Baekhyun’s right. This is a terrible idea and he’s dumb for thinking that Baekhyun would get on board. Of course he won’t.

_ Great. _ Now what?

“Sorry I asked.” He mutters, his voice barely audible.

Baekhyun simply stares at him. It breaks his heart to see Chanyeol so dejected, and he thinks he might have overreacted a little bit. It’s just a simple request – there’s no need to get angry. He could’ve just said no earlier instead of going off on Chanyeol like that.

As expected, the awkward silence falls between them, only to be broken when the waitress comes with Baekhyun’s food.

Chanyeol doesn’t order anything, but he stays there anyway. Baekhyun prefers if Chanyeol leaves him alone because it’s better for Baekhyun to eat alone than to withstand this awkward tension while eating his food. But Chanyeol knows how much Baekhyun hates eating alone, and he’s too much of a gentleman to leave him like that anyway. So, Baekhyun tries to finish his food as quickly as possible.

Once he’s done, he gets ready to pay for his food but Chanyeol takes the bill from the waitress’ hand and pays for both of them without saying a word. He then gets up, nods curtly at Baekhyun and walks away.

Baekhyun leaves the restaurant a few minutes later, heart a little hollow and steps heavy as stones. 

Chanyeol’s disappointed gaze haunts him for the rest of the day.

//

Baekhyun grew up with Sehun. Practically raised him as his little brother because their parents were rarely home when they were little. They separated when they both went to different universities, but they kept in touch and now still remain close even after they have established stable careers of their own. Baekhyun doesn’t trust anyone as much as he trusts Sehun, and he is sure that Sehun would say the same about him.

Sehun is family, so when he and Jongin finally got their on-again-off-again relationship sorted out and finally moved in together, Baekhyun considers Jongin family too although he doesn’t know the guy as well as he knows Sehun. They’re both Baekhyun’s strongest support system in this city, and Baekhyun loves them both so much.

Thus, when Jongin calls him to inform that Sehun’s been overworking himself again, Baekhyun comes running with fried chicken and his own homemade soup – weird combination, but these are the comfort food that Sehun loves the most ever since he was little. Jongin is amused by how Baekhyun still treats Sehun like a baby, but how can Baekhyun not when Sehun still acts like one, getting sick easily and needing people to take care of him?

“Sorry I’m late,” Baekhyun says as he walks into Sehun and Jongin’s apartment, carrying two bags of food. Jongin closes the door and goes to Baekhyun’s side, taking one bag from his hand before leading him to the kitchen where he is preparing fried rice himself.

“How’s he doing?” Baekhyun asks while rummaging the cabinet for some plates and cups, “Still sick?”

“Much better than yesterday, but still a bit feverish. I’m just thankful he’s getting his appetite back,” Jongin replies, turning off the stove once he’s satisfied with the rice. Despite his calm demeanour, Baekhyun can see worries in Jongin’s eyes, “He needs to lay off work for a couple more days though, and you know how he is with work.”

Baekhyun nods in understanding. They both know how difficult Sehun can be when it comes to taking time off work and taking care of himself. 

Sehun loves working. Lives for it. Thrives on it. He complains a lot about how his work would cause his early death but in reality, he can’t imagine doing anything other than managing his father’s corporation. He just  _ loves  _ being the boss. 

He loves being the boss and hates taking medicine. Being sick means he can’t do what he loves to do and he has to do what he hates to do, so it’s not a surprise that Sehun is extremely irritable when he’s sick.

Jongin’s an angel for being able to put up with him.

Sehun is bundled up in thick blankets when Jongin and Baekhyun comes into the living room with the food. He’s watching a re-run of his favourite variety show, chuckling softly when something funny happens.

“How are you doing dude?” Baekhyun asks as he sits on another plush couch while Jongin takes his spot next to Sehun. Sehun shrugs, clearly not doing so well, but he has accepted the fact that he’s not going to work any time soon. When Jongin places his delicate hand on Sehun’s forehead to check his temperature, a small smile appears on Sehun’s lips.

“Better now,” Sehun says before wrapping his arm around Jongin’s waist and pulling him closer. Jongin stutters, ears turning red from the PDA, but he doesn’t push Sehun away either. Baekhyun says nothing as he helps himself with fried rice and chicken before turning his focus to the reality show while the couple bickers.

_ “Your hands are perfectly fine, Sehun! Why do you want me to feed you!”  _

_ “Please, food tastes better when you do!” _

_ “… I feel like you’re taking advantage of me,” _

_ “C’mon Jongin please….” _

_ “… Fine, open up.” _

When the show is over, Baekhyun has eaten two bowls of fried rice and five pieces of chicken. He can practically hear his personal trainer yelling at him for being so careless with his diet before giving him hell at the gym tomorrow – but Baekhyun couldn’t care less. 

He’s about to fall asleep when he hears Sehun say, “I talked to Chanyeol today.”

“Huh?” Baekhyun looks at Sehun, whose expression is unreadable, “What was said?”

“I can’t believe you’d turn him down like that.”

“Turn him down like what?” Jongin yawns, he is resting his head on Sehun’s shoulder, curled up on the couch like a cat.

“Chanyeol asked Baekhyun to be his date for his cousin’s wedding and Baekhyun blatantly said no  _ even though _ ,” he emphasizes on the last two words when he senses that Baekhyun’s about to interrupt him, “even though he knows the cousin and how much this would mean to Chanyeol. Kind of an asshole move, if you ask me.”

“How’s that an asshole move?” 

“You said no to him.”

“I can’t say no now?” Baekhyun exclaims, “I owe him nothing!”

Sehun shrugs off his warm blanket, causing Jongin to move too, confused by the sudden change of mood. He notices that Sehun looks angry, and that’s never a good sign.

“You don’t owe him anything but we’re talking about Chanyeol here,” Sehun’s gaze is hard and unrelenting, clearly frustrated with Baekhyun, “ _ The _ Chanyeol who would do anything for you.  _ The _ Chanyeol whom you could just call and he’d come running.  _ The _ Chanyeol who cares so much about you and is so loyal to you.”

“Where are you going with this?”

“I’m saying that Chanyeol would do anything for you because he’s a good friend. A person with a good heart, but  _ you _ , he asks you to do  _ one _ thing, ONE thing, but you can’t even do that. Despite everything he’s done for you!”

“Alright babe, you need to relax,” Jongin immediately interrupts when he senses anger radiating from Sehun like waves. He places his hands on Sehun’s shoulders and leans him back on the couch, wrapping Sehun back in blankets. Jongin thought Sehun is done, but then Sehun goes on to say something that stings Baekhyun like crazy.

“I don’t know what he sees in you, Baek,”

“Alright you know what,” Baekhyun stands up, sleep long forgotten, “You have no right to say that when you don’t even bother to listen to my side of the story!”

Jongin stands up in front of his boyfriend when Baekhyun stares at Sehun like he wants to strangle him, “Baekhyun, calm down,”

“He’s basically saying that I’m a bad friend! I’m not!”

“I didn’t say that!”

“Yes, you did!”

“I didn’t!”

“You did!”

“I didn’t!” Sehun yells, rising from the couch, looking equally as angry. It’s now up to Jongin to stand between them to prevent them from clawing each other’s face off.

“Chanyeol asked me as if I have nothing better to do than to go to a stupid wedding. A wedding of someone we both don’t even like!” Baekhyun exclaims, “And he’s asking me to pretend to date him. To lie to his entire fucking family! And if you can’t see what’s wrong with that, then I can’t help you!”

Silence.

Nothing is heard except for Baekhyun’s and Sehun’s laboured breathing. Both of them look at each other with so much anger and animosity, and this makes Jongin feel uneasy. 

However, just as Jongin opens his mouth to say something, Sehun backs away, “You’re right. You can’t help me. I stand by what I said – Chanyeol deserves much so much better.”

And just like that, Sehun retreats into his and Jongin’s room and slams the door behind him, causing both Jongin and Baekhyun to flinch. Jongin turns to Baekhyun, reaching out to comfort him but Baekhyun swats his hand away.

Sehun’s voice rings in his ears despite him not being in the same room anymore.

_ Chanyeol deserves better. _

///

“You have to forgive him. You know how he is when he’s sick,” Jongin says apologetically as he wipes the dishes before putting them back in the cabinet. Baekhyun, who takes the task of washing the dishes, says nothing.

“But he has a point, y’know?” Jongin continues carefully. He knows he’s walking on thin ice here.

“You’re taking his side now?” Baekhyun doesn’t bother to take his eyes off the dishes. He’s probably washing the plates too roughly now, and he’s so angry that he sees spots. Truth be told, he’s surprised that he still has self-control and doesn’t result to throwing the glass plates to the wall to release the anger bubbling inside him.

“I’m taking no one’s side. We’re adults here, there’s no need for teams,” Jongin lets out an exasperated sigh, “But be honest with me, do you have anything to do this weekend? Anything work related?”

Baekhyun’s first instinct is to say yes because he would hate to admit that he is indeed free for the whole weekend and has absolutely no reason to turn Chanyeol down. But then he makes the mistake of looking at Jongin, who is staring at him with so much concern and kindness that Baekhyun can feel himself deflate right there and then.

“… no.”

He expects Jongin to go against him like Sehun did. He knows that he is selfish, a devil compared to the selfless Chanyeol. He expects Jongin to call him an ass, that he doesn’t deserve someone as kind as Chanyeol – a fact that never fails to hurt him.

_ He knows he doesn’t deserve Chanyeol. He knows that Chanyeol is too good for him. But he doesn’t need people reminding him that every single time. He knows. He gets it. _

“Alright then.”

_ What? _

Baekhyun blinks, “That’s it?”

“What else do you want me to say?”

“I don’t know – that I’m inconsiderate? That I’m a bad friend? That I-” Baekhyun chokes, “That I don’t deserve Chanyeol?”

“Do you want me to say all that?”

“What? Of course not,” Baekhyun finishes washing the dishes and washes his hand before turning the tap off, “But if that’s what you think, I’d rather you say it to my face than going behind my back.”

“I don’t think all that, Baek,” Jongin says calmly, still wiping the plates, “Who am I to say who deserves who? I mean, I think I don’t deserve Sehun, and I know everyone wonders what’s a CEO like him doing with a mere teacher like me, but nothing changes the fact that I love him and he loves me. So really, no one has the right to say anything about who’s deserving of whom.”

“But I wanna know why you said no,” Jongin continues, “Sehun has a point when he says that Chanyeol would risk everything for you, and he has done the absolute most for you. If you think about it, this is a simple favour. I know having to lie to his family is fucked up, but you can just… you know, be there and talk to his family like normal, and avoid any relationship talk if it makes you so uncomfortable.” Jongin sighs, “If you think about it, all that Chanyeol asks of you is your company. That’s all.”

Baekhyun groans, his face in his hands, “Ugh, I hate it when you make sense.”

“Well, someone’s gotta be the adult here. Since you and Sehun want to act like children, I guess…”

“Okay, okay, I get it,” Baekhyun huffs, crossing arms across his chest, “There’s another reason why I said no.”

“Oh?”

Baekhyun shakes his head, “No, you won’t get it.”

“Hey! I’m smarter than you think I am, okay? I’m not just a pretty face!” Jongin jokes, and Baekhyun finds himself chuckling at Jongin’s remark.

“Well, I don’t know ‘bout the last one,”

“Baekhyun...” Jongin whines, “Just tell me.”

Baekhyun sighs. He’s not prepared for this conversation at all. To think that he originally came here just to have dinner and then go back to his apartment afterwards… he’s sadly mistaken. Baekhyun is mentally and emotionally drained after a long day at work and he wants nothing more than to rest. However, with the still simmering anger in his chest and his need to tell his side of the story, Baekhyun can’t wait for another day.

Besides, Jongin’s looking at him so earnestly, and Baekhyun needs to explain himself.

“Did Sehun tell you that Chanyeol’s the one who asked for the breakup?” Baekhyun starts. He feels his old wound bleeding again – he hates thinking about their breakup, “That Chanyeol’s the one who came home and said, ‘Y’know what Baek? This isn’t working out. We need to call it quits’. And he said it in such finality that I knew that his mind was set. It’s over and I had no say it in whatsoever.”

Jongin looks confused, “B-but, I thought both of you…”

“… both decided on it? No, we decided to tell Sehun that it’s a mutual decision so that he wouldn’t feel burdened. So that he doesn’t have to pick sides.” Baekhyun chuckles bitterly, “Chanyeol is Sehun’s best friend. His co-worker, his partner in crime, his right-hand man, whereas I’m just,” Baekhyun sighs, “I’m just his childhood friend. I’m just… Baekhyun. We all know that if he has to choose between us, he’d choose Chanyeol. I’ve lost Chanyeol. I can’t lose Sehun too, y’know?”

“Baek,” Jongin’s voice hard, he’s looking at Baekhyun in disbelief, “You don’t actually think that low about yourself, do you? This isn’t some kind of custody battle. Sehun’s a grown man, and he doesn’t have to choose between the two of you. And you mean a lot of him, more than you think.”

“Whatever it is,” Baekhyun goes on, refusing to let Jongin continue because if he does, Baekhyun might not get to his main point, “That’s what we told Sehun. Chanyeol and I went way back, and just because we’re dumb enough to let our relationship ruin our friendship, doesn’t mean Sehun has to be dragged into this too.”

Jongin doesn’t say anything, so Baekhyun continues, “I didn’t have any say. Chanyeol wanted to call it quits, and I didn’t have it in me to say no. That was the worst night of life. I thought that if there’s one person that I knew would never hurt me, it was Chanyeol. But there he was – he hurt me so casually, like it’s nothing. Like  _ we’re _ nothing.”

“Initially, I wanted to fight,” Baekhyun’s voice croaked. He blinks away the tears misting his eyes, and powers on, “I wanted to fight for us because I didn’t want to lose him. I loved him so much. But I couldn’t. How could I when Chanyeol never asked me for anything, but when he finally asked for something…”

“He asked for a breakup” Jongin completes the sentence. Baekhyun nods.

“I told him that I’ve been thinking about it too. So, it isn’t only Sehun who thinks that it’s a mutual decision. Chanyeol thinks so too, but the truth is… I never wanted to let him go.” 

“So all those times when we invited you two to hang out, you’re just… you’re just…” Jongin struggles to find the right word. It takes him a few seconds, but then he says, “hurting?”

He looks at Baekhyun with such pity that Baekhyun wants to curl in on himself. 

“S’not your fault. I didn’t want it to be weird, so I just went along. But sometimes, sometimes it’s just hard, y’know? I know I should be over it already but it’s difficult.” Baekhyun sighs, “Getting over Chanyeol is difficult.”

Jongin nods in understanding. Getting over someone isn’t easy. Especially if that someone is a person you’ve spent a good chunk of your life with. When it comes to heart matters, only time can heal things, and considering that Baekhyun and Chanyeol had a long history together, of course the wound is yet to heal. Still open, so sensitive.

“You really love Chanyeol, huh?”

“I do,” Baekhyun says, “I still do.”

Sometimes, Baekhyun feels like they jumped into this so fast. Sure, they’re best friends since they were freshmen in university, but the feelings they developed for each other came late. Baekhyun only realised that he liked Chanyeol as more than a friend during their third year, when both him and Chanyeol were busy with their studies and finding ideas for their final year dissertation. It was when they were both struggling between classes and part time jobs, sharing one hotdog and one iced Americano due to budget constraint, and huddling up together under the blanket during winter. Chanyeol would always eat less so that Baekhyun would eat more, would let him drink his coffee even though he bought the coffee for himself, and would let him hog the blanket even though he’s freezing himself.

Only then he realised how grown Chanyeol was, how amazing he was, how he would do everything for Baekhyun, how he’d do anything to make Baekhyun happy.

When they started dating, they moved fast. Too frustrated at the lost times, too afraid of losing more, so they made it up by speeding things up. Back then, Baekhyun knew that he’s going to marry Chanyeol. Once everything’s settled, they were going to migrate and spend the rest of their lives together, even if it’s on a foreign land. Even when things between them got difficult once they got their own jobs and realised their own dreams, Baekhyun always knew that he wanted Chanyeol.

“If I go,” Baekhyun starts, “I’d spend the whole weekend with him. The reason why I’m doing okay right now is because we only see each other for a few hours every week. It’s manageable. But being around him 24/7…”

_ He couldn’t do it. It would hurt too much. _

“I’m sorry,” Jongin says, “I didn’t know you felt that way. If I had known…”

“It’s not like there’s anything you could’ve done. I  _ want _ things to go back to the way they were before this whole mess started. Chanyeol and I started as friends, and I want my friend back.” Baekhyun explains, “I’m not doing a very good job getting him back, I guess.” 

“Yeah, not really.” Jongin chuckles, and Baekhyun finds himself smiling despite his heart hurting.

“What do you think I should do, Jongin? Should I go to the wedding?” Baekhyun asks.

“You really want to know what I think?”

“I wouldn’t ask if I don’t.”

Jongin is silent for a while, and Baekhyun knows him well enough to know that he’s thinking carefully about what to say. Jongin is wise. He often weighs situations and thinks about every possible outcome before giving his opinion about anything. 

Jongin then finally says, “Well, I think you can’t keep avoiding him. This situation’s messy, but if you want to be his friend, you gotta try. Because I see Chanyeol’s trying. He supports you when you launched your line. He’s there to listen to you when you broke up with your flings – the ones that you dated after him, I might add, he never fails to ask about you when it’s movie night and you’re not here yet, afraid that we forgot to invite you or something. I mean, I’m not blind. I see how sometimes things get awkward between you two. Sehun notices too, but there were times when both of us didn’t even get to say anything before Chanyeol changed the topic and practically brought you and him out of the awkward tension that fell,” 

Jongin pauses, a small smile on his lips, “I don’t know if he even noticed that he did all that, but he tried so hard to be your friend, Baekhyun. Even if it’s just the little things, the small talks – he tried. And sometimes you didn’t reciprocate. I know why now, but if you didn’t tell me what you told me just now, I’d think that you don’t care as much as he does.” 

“He’s been a good friend, Baekhyun,” Jongin sighs, “and if you ask me, you should be a good friend to him too and go to the wedding with him.” 

Baekhyun scoffs, “Y’know, it’s easier for him to be friendly with me because he _ is _ over me, but I’m not over him. It’s harder for me.”

“I know, Baek,” Jongin sighs, his gaze filled with pity, “But you gotta try.”

Jongin sees how conflicted Baekhyun feels right now, and he wishes he could offer a better advice, but sadly, he doesn’t know any other solution. He feels sad that Baekhyun’s been feeling like this for a while, and he wishes he could take a little bit of that pain from him. 

So Jongin walks towards Baekhyun and pulls him into a crushing hug.

Baekhyun hugs back. 

And they say nothing. Baekhyun just lets Jongin hold him until he no longer feels like he’s falling apart.

///

Chanyeol is royally screwed.

How the hell is he going to face his mother this weekend? How is he going to tell his mother that Baekhyun’s no longer his boyfriend? How is going to face the rest of his family without Baekhyun when he had confidently told them that Baekhyun’s the man he’s going to marry one day?

How does he save himself from the embarrassment?

Chanyeol is so deep in his thoughts that he doesn’t even realise that he’s cooked his chicken for too long. Only when he hears knocking on his door that he realises that he’s still cooking and the chicken he’s preparing is far from being edible.

Cursing under his breath, Chanyeol quickly turns off the stove and shoves the pan into the sink. He then makes a beeline to the front door to see who’s knocking.

To his surprise, Baekhyun is standing at his doorstep, crossing his arms across his chest and looking extremely impatient.

“I have a few ground rules. Number one,” he holds up a finger, “You’re paying for everything. Flight, food, accommodation, transportation – all on you. I’m not paying for a single bloody thing. Number two,” He holds up a second finger, “You’re not allowed to say no to me. If I want a burger in the middle of the night and you’re just about to sleep, you’re getting your ass out of bed and come eat burger with me. If I want to go to the beach to swim, you’re swimming with me. You’re doing everything I say, geddit?” He waits for Chanyeol to nod, and then he continues and holds up the third digit, “Number three, no flirting with anyone at the wedding. I know weddings are filled with single people and desperate people but you’re going there as my partner and I’d be damned if I look like a fool alone while you’re out there wilding. No. You’re staying with me, and we’re gonna bullshit our way through the wedding together. Ok?”

“As if I’d ever look at anyone else when you’re there, Baek,” Chanyeol smiles, and it is the smile that never fails to melt Baekhyun’s insides. 

“No need to sweet talk me, Park.”

“But I like doing that,”

“Shut up.”

“Don’t tell me to shut up!” Chanyeol exclaims, but there’s no bite in his tone. He’s smiling from ear to ear, “Should I have ground rules too, Byun? It’s not fair if only you have them.”

Baekhyun glares at him, “I’m doing you a  _ favour _ . A  _ big _ one, at that. You should be thankful that I only came up with three… so far.”

“So far? Is there gonna be more?”

“I’ll add more as we go along,” Baekhyun quips, feeling a little bit hot under Chanyeol’s sunny smile, “But I’ll go to the wedding with you. I’ll be your boyfriend for the weekend. I’ll do whatever you want when we’re with your family. But my rules… you gotta follow them.”

Chanyeol’s still smiling. He looks so happy that Baekhyun wants nothing more than to reach forward and kiss that smile, kiss him until they’re both breathless.

Instead, he says, “Stop smiling like that! You look like a dork.”

“But I’m  _ your _ dork,” 

“Unfortunately.” Baekhyun forces a laugh. He wants to scream. His heart is beating at an alarming rate and he hates it.

_ No. Focus, Baekhyun. _

“Have I made myself clear?” Baekhyun asks, looking at Chanyeol for confirmation.

“Very clear.”

“Well then, Park Chanyeol,” Baekhyun sighs, “I guess you got yourself a date.”

 


	2. the realization

“ _ Holy shit _ .” Baekhyun mutters under his breath once the driver pulls the car in front of the main lobby of the most beautiful hotel Baekhyun has ever seen in his life. Chanyeol had told him that the resort is beautiful because Somin wanted the best for them, but Baekhyun was sceptical. 

Somin really came through, and Baekhyun is impressed.

The place is worth the long journey. Chanyeol and Baekhyun had gotten to the airport early in the morning and met Mrs. Park there, then they flew here first class (also Somin’s doing), and got into the car that Somin booked for them once they got here. Baekhyun, despite being a successful model himself, is used to the modest lifestyle that his mother ingrained in him since he was little. To be given first class flight tickets, escorted in an expensive car to the hotel, and gotten a stay in this gorgeous hotel aren’t luxuries that Baekhyun is used to.

He feels so spoiled – and it’s not a bad feeling.

The hotel is far from the airport and needs a 40-minute drive from the nearest town. It’s secluded, surrounded by quiet forest and lush, colourful garden that is so well-maintained that Baekhyun wouldn’t dare to touch the flowers even if he’s dying to do so. It’s like stepping into the land of fairy tales, where everything is good, and pretty, and calm. 

Baekhyun sees that there’s a huge lake behind the hotel where people are doing recreational activities like kayaking, sightseeing, and picnicking. As the hotel is located on a low hill, it also provides a beautiful view of the forest surrounding it. Baekhyun stares at the horizon, imagining how beautiful the scenery would be during sunset. 

He makes a mental note to watch the sunset after the wedding.

The limousines and expensive cars at the entrance gives Baekhyun an idea of the types of people here. There is no way that this is a place for commoners. The people here are either royalties from other countries or extremely wealthy people looking for serenity. Even Chanyeol had told him that he’s surprised that Somin managed to book a room here because the rooms are always full and the prices of the rooms are really expensive. However, Somin has connections everywhere, so of course she could pull this off.

All Chanyeol does is insist that he pays for the rooms. Somin didn’t want to let him at first because Chanyeol’s family is Somin’s favourite relatives, but Chanyeol doesn’t feel good about letting Somin pay for everything.

Baekhyun is almost afraid to ask how much Chanyeol is paying. Despite his own rule about how Chanyeol is to pay for everything, he’s itching to pitch in a little bit so that Chanyeol doesn’t feel burdened.

But Chanyeol doesn’t say anything, so Baekhyun stays silent. 

Speaking of Chanyeol, Baekhyun suddenly realises that it’s so quiet in the car. Chanyeol had been chattering non-stop ever since they got off the plane, clearly excited for some days off from work, but now his voice is mute.  

Baekhyun looks around and finds that he’s alone while everyone’s already out. And Chanyeol’s still talking, except that he’s talking  _ outside _ the car now.

Good God, how long has he been gaping at the hotel? 

When he steps out of the car, Baekhyun is greeted by a young, handsome hotel worker who offers to carry his bag. Baekhyun refuses because in his bag is his laptop which is his most prized possession so there’s no way he’d let anyone hold it except for him. He tells the worker that he has only a luggage in the trunk, so he can carry that instead. The hotel worker nods and scurries away to help his colleagues with the bags.

Baekhyun glances to his left and sees Chanyeol talking to one of the workers in fluent English, probably about the check-ins and the places to see – and  _ fuck _ , Baekhyun had forgotten how  _ hot _ that is.

When they were dating, they had gone to places where they needed to speak in English. Baekhyun would say that he himself has a basic grasp of the language, but Chanyeol is near fluent because he travelled a lot with his family when he was little and had taken extra English classes due to his interest in the language. Baekhyun depended on Chanyeol back in the days, and he liked it. 

Chanyeol is extremely attractive when he speaks in a different language. His voice deepens somehow, he gives out an aura that he’s not to be fucked with, and he’s so confident and pleased with himself that Baekhyun wants nothing more than to jump him right then and there because fuck, there’s nothing hotter than a  _ confident multilingual man. _

And Baekhyun has always been possessive. He’d pull Chanyeol back in the car if he has his way, straddle him and kiss him senseless, kiss him until Chanyeol loses his breath. Chanyeol likes it when Baekhyun runs his hand through his hair and pulls, and Baekhyun would do exactly that, purposely grinding down to hear Chanyeol’s moans and pleas, ones that Chanyeol lets out loudly because he’s not the quiet type.

Chanyeol has always been loud, and Baekhyun wants him mumbling nonsensical stuff in English to him although Baekhyun doesn’t understand them. Wants Chanyeol to lose control, to scream, to beg. He’d palm his erection through his pants, feel Chanyeol buckle against him and pleads for more, because if there’s anyone who has this effect on Chanyeol, it’s Baekhyun, and Baekhyun loves that. 

Loves being the one who makes Chanyeol lose all coherency, the one who drives him batshit crazy. 

He’d fill Chanyeol’s neck with kisses and hickeys. He wants that milky skin filled with his mark because this man, this fluent man of many languages is his.  _ His, his, his. _

“Baekhyun! You look flushed!” a voice interrupts Baekhyun’s thought. “You okay?”

It’s Mrs. Park.

_ Shit. _

Baekhyun’s face reddens even more, but he quickly smiles, “Yeah, I’m okay.”

Mrs. Park seems to see right through his bullshit as she follows Baekhyun’s gaze earlier and lands on her own son. She smiles knowingly.

“I see.”

“Mrs. Park, it’s not what you think!” Baekhyun is flustered, but she shakes her head. 

“It’s okay, I understand,” she winks at Baekhyun. Bless her heart, Baekhyun knows that she’s trying to make him feel better but Baekhyun wants nothing more than for the ground to swallow him whole right now. 

She chuckles when Baekhyun’s face gets beet red, but then she links her arms with him anyway and walks with him to the lobby.

Chanyeol is in front of them, blissfully oblivious of Baekhyun’s embarrassing incident. He doesn’t notice that Baekhyun is practically as red as a cooked crab at this moment. When he notices that Baekhyun and Mrs. Park is following him, he smiles contently before turning around and walks ahead of them.

“Amazing huh?” Mrs. Park says, looking around the grand lobby. Chanyeol is already at the receptionist, probably settling the check-ins and getting the keys to their rooms.

“Yeah, it’s – it’s impressive.”

“Somin has a way of getting things that she wants. I told her that we’d be fine with just a cheap hotel in the city but of course she has to pull some strings to give us the best hotel there is,” Mrs. Park sounds so excited. Baekhyun doesn’t want to dampen her mood, so he forces a smile before nodding in agreement. 

She sits on one of the sofas, and Baekhyun sits next to her. His eyes never leave Chanyeol, who is talking to the receptionist. Baekhyun has no idea how Chanyeol can look so dashing even when he’s in his most casual clothes. Right now, they’re around people who practically screams money. From crisp suits and shirts to shiny shoes, Baekhyun can tell that these people have  _ money _ . Even the casual ones wear jewelleries that probably cost Baekhyun his entire apartment. 

Baekhyun can’t help but to observe their fashion and style while feeling a little inferior because he’s only sporting on his large hoodie, washed jeans, and red sneakers. He can sense that Mrs. Park feels the same way too.

But Chanyeol, he has an aura of confidence around him that he looks like he just…  _ belongs. _

Once he’s gotten the keys, Chanyeol turns around and makes his way towards his mother and Baekhyun.

“Here’s your key, Mom.” Chanyeol hands the key to his mother, “Are we still on for dinner tonight?”

“I’ve already made the reservation, so yes. I’ll see you here at 8?” 

“Okay Mom,” Chanyeol says, leaning down when she tiptoes to kiss his cheeks. She smiles warmly at Baekhyun before gesturing the hotel workers to get her bags. She walks away afterwards, muttering something about taking a nap because she’s exhausted from the flight and the drive here. 

Baekhyun looks up to Chanyeol, holding out his hand and waits for his keys. 

Much to his dismay, Chanyeol just stands there. He looks conflicted, struggling with himself and he is trying (and failing) to hide his worries from Baekhyun. 

But Baekhyun knows Chanyeol too well. He  _ knows _ that look. He knows that look too well.

It’s the  _ we-have-a-problem _ look.

Baekhyun  _ hates _ that look.

“Okay, what is it?” he asks knowingly. He’s not sure he wants to know the answer.

“I think we have a problem here.”

“I can conclude that much,” Baekhyun rolls his eyes, “But what?”

Chanyeol bites his bottom lip, “I think you should see for yourself.”

//

“You have  _ got _ to be kidding me,” Baekhyun says once he enters the room. 

Don’t get him wrong. The room is absolutely beautiful. It has large windows overlooking the lake, the light enters the room and brightens it up, and the view is amazing. It has a large television, large closet space, a mini kitchen, spacious bathroom linked, plush sofas in front of the television – basically a cute room that Baekhyun appreciates. 

But the problem is there is only  _ one  _ bed.

Chanyeol rubs his temple, feeling headache coming because he didn’t anticipate this at all. On the elevator, he explained to Baekhyun that he thought that they’d be having a room each. He thought that Somin would at least do that, but he then remembered that Somin thinks that he and Baekhyun are still dating, and it’s normal for couples to share a room together. So why would Somin book for two rooms for Baekhyun and Chanyeol? Not when the last time she saw them, they’re practically inseparable.

Chanyeol said that he tried to book another room, but there’s no empty one and there’s nothing they could do. 

And that’s how they got into this sticky situation.

“I – I guess only one of us can use the bed,” Chanyeol mutters, “Yeah, I’ll sleep on the couch. You can have the bed.”

He then picks up the bag and starts walking towards the couch. However, he is then stopped by Baekhyun who catches his arm before he could go.

“You’re being ridiculous. Why shouldn’t you get the bed?” Baekhyun asks.

Chanyeol’s expression morphs from surprised to confused, “W-what? Baek, I’m giving you the bed. You can’t seriously want to argue with me about this!”

“I’m not trying to argue with you. I’m just saying that it’s unfair that you paid for this expensive ass room but sleeps on the couch. It’s just not right!”

“Well, unless you want to sleep on the same bed…”

“What? No!” Baekhyun squeals, his face hot of all the sudden, “Pfft, why would I want to sleep on you? I mean with – no, bed – I mean,  _ on _ the bed  _ with  _ you? Why would I do that?”

Baekhyun knows he probably looks ridiculous right now, as Chanyeol looks at him like he’s suddenly grown three heads.

“Glad to know that sleeping on the same bed as me is repulsive to you.”

Baekhyun’s jaw drops.  _ That’s  _ what Chanyeol gets from this?

“No, that’s not what I meant!”

“No, it’s okay,” Chanyeol huffs, looking far from pleased, “I don’t mind sleeping on the couch, really. I’m a gentleman, and I think you should take the bed.”

“I can be a gentleman too!” Baekhyun exclaims, “I think  _ you  _ should take the bed!”

“Baekhyun, what the hell!”

“I’ll sleep on the couch!  _ You  _ take the bed,” Baekhyun pushes Chanyeol and quickly pads to the couch. He sits on it and smiles up at Chanyeol, “Mine!”

“You’re ridiculous.” Chanyeol says, “Baekhyun, just take the bed.”

“No, this couch is mine!” Baekhyun stick out his tongue, “I’m being a gentleman now. Go to your bed, Chanyeol.”

Chanyeol sighs, but he is so tired from the journey that he doesn’t have the energy to argue with Baekhyun anymore. 

So he shakes his head at Baekhyun’s stubbornness and makes his way to the bathroom to freshen up. Baekhyun’s left in the room on the couch, still thinking about the sleeping arrangement. 

The thought of spending the weekend with his ex in such close proximity drives him crazy. It’s bad enough that he still has feelings for him, but now that he has to be in the same room at him for hours at night, with no way of escaping. There’s no way he’s getting out of this trip without his feelings intensifying to a ridiculous level, and there’s no way he’s not going to get hurt when everything’s over.

Baekhyun slumps on the couch, pressing his palms on his eyes.

_ “Fuck.” _

//

“Baekhyun, we’re just having dinner with my mom,” Chanyeol sighs from the other side of the bathroom door, where Baekhyun is taking his time getting ready, “What’s taking so long?”

“You literally gave me 15 minutes to get ready when you know that I need at least 30. You should’ve woken me up earlier if we’re in a rush!”

“We’re not in a rush but I don’t want to keep my mom waiting! Hurry up, already!” 

“I don’t know what to tell you, Chanyeol. I’m gonna need at least 10 more minutes, but  _ more _ if you don’t stop complaining!” Baekhyun loses his patience. He’s trying to get ready as fast as he can but Chanyeol whining from the other side of the door isn’t helping, “Just go to your mother and explain everything to her. I’ll be right down.

Chanyeol rolls his eyes. There’s no point in trying to force Baekhyun to come out when he’s getting ready because he always takes forever.

Back when they were dating, this behaviour of Baekhyun’s used to drive Chanyeol absolutely bonkers because Chanyeol hates being late. He’s punctual. He hates it when people wait for him. He’d rather do the waiting. However, dating Baekhyun means he’d be late to certain events because Baekhyun put lots of effort in his looks when he went to appointments and events. He loves looking pretty.

Dating Baekhyun for a few years, Chanyeol became more in tune with his behaviour. He developed patience, and he learnt that if he wanted to get anywhere on time, he had to tell Baekhyun to get ready at least an hour before time.

He couldn’t believe he forgot all that. Earlier, they took a nap, Chanyeol on the bed and Baekhyun on the couch, and Chanyeol had gotten up earlier to get ready. He’s about to wake Baekhyun up too but Baekhyun looked so calm, almost angelic when he slept. 

Chanyeol remembers back then he used to watch Baekhyun sleep, taking in his beauty, and falling deeper and deeper in love with the man sleeping next to him. 

He can’t do that now.

Chanyeol decided to give Baekhyun some extra time to sleep. 

He regrets his decision now.

Chanyeol goes to the lobby and waits for his mother there. When his mother is 5 minutes late, Chanyeol calls her mobile. 

“Mom? You okay? I’m already at the lobby.” Chanyeol says.

“Oh, yeah, about that,” she hesitates, “I’m gonna have to cancel.”

“What?” Chanyeol exclaims, “Why?”

“Your aunt called and said she needs help at the hall so I gotta meet her tonight,” she sighs dramatically. Chanyeol can’t help but to think that it’s too fake to be real – it’s like she’s acting, and she’s a terrible actress, “But the reservation’s still on, so you boys go have fun! Don’t cancel just because of me.”

Chanyeol is suspicious, “You’ve been dying to go to that restaurant ever since Somin told you about it, now you wanna cancel? Look, we can just postpone…”

“No!” Mrs. Park interrupts, “No, I’m okay. You should just go. I don’t feel like calling them just to cancel the reservation. Baekhyun would love the place. It’s really romantic,”

Chanyeol’s eyebrow raised, “Why would you reserve a table for us three at a romantic restaurant in the first place?”

Silence.

“Mom…”

“Chanyeol?” a voice interrupts from behind him. Chanyeol turns and finds Baekhyun standing behind him. He’s wearing a blue silk shirt and skinny black jeans, he has light makeup on, just black eyeliner smudged along his lash line to give him a more defined look and concealer and bb cream to give him fresher look. He has his hair styled up too, and he looks beautiful that he takes Chanyeol’s breath away. 

“Where’s your mom?” Baekhyun asks.

“Is that Baekhyunnie I hear?” Mrs. Park says, “Well then, have fun, okay? I need to go now, bye!”

Chanyeol doesn’t get another word out before she hangs up on him. He sighs in frustration before putting his phone back in his jeans pocket.

“Mom cancelled on us,”

“Oh, ouch?” Baekhyun says and Chanyeol chuckles. 

Chanyeol should have expected this. The plan was sketchy in the first place. 

It’s so weird that his mother would make a reservation at a restaurant known for being the ultimate place for couples. Even Somin said that it’s the place where she goes for dates with her fiancé, and there’s rarely any family or other companies there because of the romantic atmosphere. Chanyeol didn’t say anything when his mother booked a table there because he thought she might be interested in that place. She is, after all, planning to open a restaurant in the near future so she always goes to random restaurants to find inspiration.

Chanyeol thinks that this has to do with the fact that she still feels bad about taking the news that he’s gay badly. 

It took a while for him to come out to his parents about his sexuality, and when he came out, neither of them took the news well. It put such immense pressure on both his parents that they ended up fighting a lot and then separating. 

Both of his parents remain as friends and they’re all good now, but Chanyeol remembers how lonely he felt during those times. Baekhyun was there for him. He was there through it all, which is why he was more dependent on Baekhyun more than his own family. 

Now, she’s trying to make up for what she did. She loves Baekhyun. She gives both of them her full blessings. Every time she sees them, she showers them with so much love so that Baekhyun feels like he’s a part of the family. And he is, technically, as Baekhyun has charmed her so well that she sees him as the second son she never thought she’d have.

Sometimes Chanyeol thinks she loves Baekhyun more than she loves him.

Chanyeol appreciates it, but everything she does makes it more difficult for him to tell her that Baekhyun is no longer his boyfriend.

“So, how now?” Baekhyun asks, crossing his arms across his chest.

Chanyeol sighs, “It’s not that there’s anything else to do. Let’s go have dinner.”

//

As it turns out, the restaurant indeed is for couples. Chanyeol is immediately baffled by the soft, romantic music, the pink wallpapers, chairs, and tables, and the waiters dressed in pink from head to toe. It feels like the restaurant is constantly on Valentine's Day mood. 

Chanyeol isn’t happy with this.

“It’s…. pretty,” Baekhyun comments from Chanyeol’s side, looking around him with gaze filled with hilarity, “Certainly not what I expected, but I guess we shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, eh?”

Chanyeol rolls his eyes before turning towards the maitre d’ and tells him about the reservation made under Mrs Park’s name. Chanyeol wishes that there’s a mix up somewhere and there’s no reservation under his mom’s name at all, but of course luck’s not his side.

“Ah, here it is,” the maitre d’ says after scanning the long list in his hands, “Your table is ready, sir.”

Chanyeol can feel his face reddening with embarrassment once he’s seated. He’s surrounded by couples, some are holding hands, some are kissing, some have hands under the table doing God knows what… Chanyeol has never felt more uncomfortable in his life. He can’t help but wonder whether it wouldn’t be as bad if he’s here with a partner and not an ex, but as the couple next to their table started making out, Chanyeol decides that he’d hate this place even if he is here with a boyfriend.

Baekhyun, on the other hand, looks absolutely amused.

“Cute,” he says, looking at the couple near the window, who are too busy looking into each other’s eyes that they don’t realise that their food has arrived. Baekhyun wonders if they will get to eating their food before it gets cold, or are they just going to stare at each other until the restaurant closes.

Chanyeol grunts, feeling himself grow hotter. He keeps his eyes on the menu, looking for the simplest dish there is so that he can eat quickly and get out of here faster.

“Why are you so tense?” Baekhyun asks suddenly. Chanyeol looks up and finds Baekhyun staring at him. 

“Tense? I’m not tense.”

“Is this because this place is full of couples?” Baekhyun replies knowingly, a smirk appears on his face, “Chanyeol  _ relax _ , it’s not that everyone here knows that we’re not dating. Just act casual and we’ll be fine.” He pauses before adding, “Besides, this is so funny.”

“I’m fine and it’s not funny – it’s awkward.” Chanyeol insists stubbornly. He scans the menu, “Even the menus are designed for couples to share. Too much for one person, too little for two. What do they think we’re gonna do?  Eat spaghetti like Lady and the Tramp?”

“You gotta admit, that was a pretty cute scene.” Baekhyun quips.

“Well I’m not gonna kiss you even with spaghetti so cut it out.”

Baekhyun frowns, “You speak as if I  _ want _ to kiss you. I don’t.”

“Yeah? Well good.”

“Good.”

Silence falls, but then broken a few seconds letter when Chanyeol exclaims, “Oysters? Really?”

“Oyster is a great aphrodisiac.”

“I know. I’m not stupid.”

“Yeah? Could’ve fooled me,”

Chanyeol is about to retort when a young, round eyed man with a heart shaped smile comes to their table.

“Good evening! I’m Kyungsoo and I’ll be your waiter this evening,” he says, smiling from ear to ear, “May I get your order?”

They both order their food. Chanyeol can’t help but to notice that Kyungsoo’s gaze seems to linger on Baekhyun for a tad longer and he seems to blush at everything Baekhyun says, even when the man orders pesto spaghetti with grilled chicken. 

There’s _ nothing _ attractive about pesto spaghetti with grilled chicken but Kyungsoo blushes anyway.

Chanyeol will never get over how easily Baekhyun charm everyone. Baekhyun doesn’t even try, but he gets people’s attention anyway.

“So,” Baekhyun starts, “Did you talk to Sehun today?”

Well, that’s random. But Chanyeol supposes it’s good that there’s a topic for conversation. It’s not that they’re not used to talking about their friends anyway.

“Yeah, he went to the museum with Jongin today,” Chanyeol says, “Can you imagine it? Sehun in a museum?”

At that, Baekhyun laughs.

“It’s Jongin’s doing, I bet. Sehun used to suffer in history classes, so I can’t see how he’d enjoy museums.”

“It’s not often that he gets a day off,” Chanyeol sighs, “Jongin must have wanted a museum date for a while. Maybe this is just him spoiling Jongin. Although, Sehun seemed to be having a good time when I Facetimed him earlier. I guess he doesn’t hate museums that much.”

“He doesn’t hate anything when Jongin’s there. Boy’s too whipped for his own good.”

“They’re in love. Everyone forgets about what they hate the most when they’re with the people they love.”

Baekhyun nods. He does know that. He remembers how everything used to get so much better when Chanyeol’s around. He remembers how amazing it was to love someone. People say that love hurts but Baekhyun thinks that he’s never as happy as he was when he’s in love. 

“I miss being in love,” Baekhyun says, his voice soft, “I haven’t felt that since… well, you.”

Chanyeol’s face softens, “Same here.”

“What we had… it was good, right?” Baekhyun asks, focusing on Chanyeol. 

Chanyeol is taken aback by the question, but he quickly hides it with a smile.

“Yeah, it was.”

Baekhyun has no idea what he expected from Chanyeol, but Chanyeol’s answer sparks a curiosity in him, one that he needs an answer to. Baekhyun thinks about how this might not be the best place to have this conversation, but as he looks at Chanyeol, he thinks about their past, their love, their relationship – and he needs to know.

“Then why did you end it?”

Chanyeol’s eyes widen. He did not expect that at all. Especially when they were literally laughing about Sehun and Jongin just now.

“Baekhyun, I… I thought you… we discussed this.”

“No, we didn’t, actually. You said you wanted to break up with me, and I said okay. ‘It’s just not working out’,” Baekhyun makes an air quote, “I believe that’s what you said. But I never knew… why didn’t we work out? Is it me? Is it my fault?”

“What? No!” Chanyeol exclaims, “No, it’s not you. It’s me.”

Baekhyun chuckles, “That’s always the line, isn’t it? So, it’s you. Not me. And you broke up with me because you didn’t love me anymore?”

“Why’re you asking all these questions?” Chanyeol whispers, “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“I’m just… curious. I mean, of course you stopped loving me, why else would you break up with me?” Baekhyun says, his heart breaking but he keeps his tone nonchalant and uncaring, “But what did I do to make you stop loving me? What did I do wrong?”

Baekhyun waits for Chanyeol’s answer. He keeps his eyes on Chanyeol, refuses to budge from his question. Much to his dismay, Chanyeol is equally as stubborn because a minute passes, and Baekhyun still doesn’t hear a peep from Chanyeol. 

He finally sighs when he realises that Chanyeol’s not going to say anything, “Fine. Whatever. Don’t answer if you don’t want to.”

“Why didn’t you fight?” 

Chanyeol’s eyes are on him now, hard and uncaring, as if he didn’t spend the last minute trying to avoid Baekhyun’s gaze. Baekhyun blinks, a little confused by the question.

“Fight for what?”

“Me. For us.”

“Are you – are you serious?” Baekhyun sputters, his sadness from earlier slowly turning into disbelief, and then anger, “Are you trying to shift the blame on me?”

“Blame? No one’s blaming anyone! We both wanted it, so there’s no one to blame! Unless,” Chanyeol frowns, “Unless you’ve been blaming me this whole time.”

“If I don’t blame you, I’d blame myself!” Baekhyun exclaims, his voice loud and practically booms in the restaurant, “You give me nothing to work with! You’re the one who broke up with me without giving me a proper reason why! You’re the one who left me in the dark! You’re the one who stopped loving me and walked away without sparing a second about what I feel!” Baekhyun’s voice croaked, “You made me feel like there’s something wrong with me.”

“I did it because one of us should! You clearly didn’t care anymore because you immediately said yes when I said we should call it quits! You wanted it, so you don’t get to blame me for doing what you’re too scared to do!”

“Chanyeol, what the fuck? I wasn’t going to break up with you at all!”

“We’re suffering. We both were. You don’t get to stand there acting like a victim! If you truly didn’t want to break up with me, you’d fight for me and you’d stop what I was about to do! But you didn’t fight – you never did and I saw that you never will. I did what you’re scared to do, Baekhyun, deep inside, you know that’s the truth.”

_ He’s wrong. He’s so wrong _ , Baekhyun thinks.

Baekhyun wants to scream. Never in his life had he thought about leaving Chanyeol. He knew how hard everything was back then. He knew that Chanyeol was struggling and the search for decent jobs were taking a toll on both their physical and mental health. Chanyeol was struggling more than he was because he’s more reserved and the competition was fierce. Even when Baekhyun had gotten better job, Chanyeol was stuck with his old one, and Baekhyun had to cover a lot of their bills as they were already living together. 

Baekhyun wasn’t able to focus on both Chanyeol and his career, and that too was taking a toll on their relationship. The financial struggle got to them no matter how hard they tried to deny it. They fought more than usual. The cold shoulders went on for days. They butt heads over the pettiest of things. They both found flaw in the littlest things. Baekhyun remembered feeling burdened and angry at Chanyeol, so he lashed out every single time and had gotten even angrier when Chanyeol remained calm and pat-

_ Oh _ . No.  _ No. _

Chanyeol was right. He  _ had _ wanted to end it. 

He just never realised it.

“You’re always so stubborn, Baekhyun,” Chanyeol says, “You held onto me because I was the only love you had known. You were suffering. You’re angry, and frustrated, and you took it all out on me although you didn’t realise it. I didn’t break up with you because I couldn’t stand you. I broke up with you because it was the right thing to do. I loved you, so I let you go. You had wanted me to let you go, but you loved me too much to admit that. You were torn, so I made the decision for both of us.”

Tears well up in Baekhyun’s eyes and before he knows it, he’s crying. Chanyeol’s expression changes from angry to concerned, but when he reaches out for Baekhyun, Baekhyun swats his hand away.

“Don’t touch me.”

“Baekhyun, don’t be like this.”

“No, I just,” Baekhyun sobs.  _ God, this is too much _ . The realization is too much, and it’s suffocating, and all Baekhyun wants is to breathe, “I need to go.”

“Baekhyun, we came together. The driver’s waiting for us….”

“Then I’ll take a cab.” Baekhyun says as he gets up, “Please don’t follow me. I just – I need some time alone.”

Chanyeol doesn’t get to say anything as Baekhyun quickly gets out of the restaurant. Several pairs of eyes turn towards Chanyeol, curious to see how he’d react now. 

Everyone in the restaurant might have heard what Baekhyun and him said to each other just now, considering that they’re not exactly quiet. He feels hot under their stare.

But before he gets to stand up and walk away, food comes to his table. The waiter, Kyungsoo, looks at him apologetically when he places the plates on the table. He looks at Baekhyun’s plate, and asks, “Should I make this as your to-go?” 

Chanyeol shakes his head, “Both of them, please. I need to get out of here.”

//

Chanyeol has no idea how long has he been walking. He had given the food to the driver and had told him to drive back to the hotel and give the food to Baekhyun. He texted Baekhyun afterwards, telling him to be safe no matter where he was, to which Baekhyun replied that he’s on his way back to the hotel and he’s calmed down now. 

Chanyeol texted back saying that he’d go back to the hotel in an hour. He guesses he should call for a cab now, but he feels his heart grow heavy at the thought of going back to the hotel. His mind is going on overdrive. He feels uneasy. He can’t stop thinking about how hurt Baekhyun looked earlier, how he’s the one who caused that. How he’s the one who made him cry.

Maybe Chanyeol needs to get his mind sorted out too.

So, he keeps walking. He has no idea where he is or where he’s going, but walking calms him down.

Chanyeol only realises that he’s tired when he reaches a bus stop. He sits down, forcing his mind to think about anything but Baekhyun. Anything but how much he wants to comfort him but he can’t, how much he wants to tell him that he loves him but he can’t, how much he wants things to go back to the way they were but he can’t. 

He should have known that this isn’t going to go well in the first place. He wants to call Sehun to tell him about what went on, but he is sure that Sehun is enjoying his time with Jongin, and he doesn’t want to burden him with his trouble. 

Chanyeol sighs.

“Um, mister?” A voice interrupts his thought, “Aren’t you that guy from the restaurant?”

Chanyeol looks up, his gaze meeting the wide-eyed waiter from the restaurant earlier. He is bundled up in thick clothes and fluffy scarves, but Chanyeol recognizes him nonetheless. 

“And you’re that waiter,” Chanyeol replies, brows furrowing as he tries to remember his name. 

Eventually, he says, “Kyungsoo, right?”

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo says, “What’re you doing here?”

What _ is _ he doing here? Chanyeol doesn’t have the answer to that.

“Me? What are  _ you _ doing here?” Chanyeol asks.

“I live 2 blocks from here,” Kyungsoo replies. 

Chanyeol nods in understanding. He then notices that Kyungsoo is probably waiting for his answer, so he sighs, “I need to clear my mind a little bit.  You know what happened at the restaurant.”

“I see,” Kyungsoo says. He looks at Chanyeol who has his eyes on the ground. It amazes Kyungsoo how someone so tall can look so small. It’s like Chanyeol wants to curl on the floor and just disappear. He is shivering, and Kyungsoo can hear his stomach rumbling. 

He remembers that Chanyeol didn’t eat at the restaurant.

“Well, it’s cold out here,” Kyungsoo says, taking pity on the man in front of him, “I can tell that you’re hungry.” When Chanyeol looks up at his quizzically, Kyungsoo continues, “You  _ are _ hungry, right? You didn’t eat anything earlier and I can hear your stomach rumbling.”

Chanyeol blushes. Alright, he _ is _ hungry.

“I know a good pub just a block from here.” Kyungsoo grins “C’mon then, I’m heading there anyway. I could use a company.”

Chanyeol hesitates, perhaps feeling a little weird at the prospect of eating with a stranger. 

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes, “I’m not up to anything funny or weird, I swear. I  _ just _ finished an _ extremely _ long shift and I want a fat greasy burger and alcohol in my system,” 

Chanyeol gulps. A fat, greasy burger sounds so good right now. 

“So, you wanna sit here and wallow, or you’re gonna come with me and wallow at the pub, with burgers and beer? Your choice.”

_ That’s an easy choice to make.  _

Chanyeol stands up. Kyungsoo smiles.

“Thought so.” He starts walking. Chanyeol follows him like a lost puppy. 

“What’s your name, by the way?” Kyungsoo asks.

“Chanyeol. Park Chanyeol.”

Kyungsoo nods, and Chanyeol notices that he’s smiling although half of his face is wrapped in scarves, “Nice name, Chanyeol. Let’s walk faster, shall we? I fucking hate cold wind.”

He then practically jogs to the place, and Chanyeol says nothing as he follows suit.

//

Chanyeol finishes his burger and beer in record time. He didn’t realise how hungry he was until the waitress came with his food and he practically ravished his food. 

Kyungsoo is a slow eater, Chanyeol notices. Or, maybe he’s just so surprised to see Chanyeol eat like he hasn’t eaten in days that he spends more time watching Chanyeol eat instead of finishing his own food.

Chanyeol burps, his eyes go wide when he does that. His ears redden as he flushes in embarrassment.

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay. But I gotta ask, is this your first meal of the day or…?”

“No, I’m just… starving. I usually eat a lot when I travel.”

“Oh? So you’re not from here?”

“Nope.”

“I see,” Kyungsoo says, “I guess it makes sense now. I mean, you went to the restaurant that is famous for being the ultimate place for couples with your… ex? Sorry, it’s not that hard to conclude that, considering that you two  _ were  _ quite loud earlier.”

Chanyeol’s ears redden even more.

“What’s up with that, if you don’t mind me asking,” Kyungsoo asks, reaching out for his beer before gulping it down.

Chanyeol frowns, “It’s really none of your business, y’know.”

“It’s not, but I’m curious. It’s not often that I get to see Byun Baekhyun, but the one moment I see him, he gets into a fight with his ex.”

“Hold up,” Chanyeol looks sharply at Kyungsoo, “You know Baekhyun?”

“I’ve been following his work for years,” Kyungsoo smiles, “I’m a fashion major, you see. And I’m a big fan of his. Hell, this sweater is from his latest line,” Kyungsoo proudly shows his sweater, “I wanted his autograph but he stormed out so early I couldn’t do that.”

There’s no judgment in Kyungsoo’s voice. As a matter of fact, Kyungsoo seems to find the entire situation funny. Still, Chanyeol feels compelled to apologize.

“Sorry.”

“For?”

“If it weren’t for me, you’d get his auto… graph…” Chanyeol trails off once he realises how silly he sounds, “I don’t quite know why I’m sorry but sorry anyway.”

Kyungsoo chuckles at that. 

Great, now he probably thinks that Chanyeol’s an idiot.

“You’re cute. I can see why Baekhyun likes you.”

“Liked.” Chanyeol corrects him, “He doesn’t feel that way about me anymore, if you can’t already tell.”

Kyungsoo doesn’t say anything. Instead, he looks like Chanyeol like he’s trying to read the depth of his soul. Chanyeol wonders if he does that a lot. Or is it just the way his eyes are so round that it  _ feels  _ like he’s reading him when he’s really just looking at him like any normal person would.

“Are you a model too?” Kyungsoo asks. He understands that that the topic about Baekhyun is making Chanyeol uncomfortable, so he shifts the conversation in another direction. 

“No,” Chanyeol laughs, “I’m a marketing director.”

“Oh?”

“Why do you look so surprised?”

Kyungsoo rubs the back of his neck, “It’s just… unexpected, I guess? I thought directors have this intimidating, scary aura around them and-”

“And I don’t look the part?”

“Well, no,” Kyungsoo replies bluntly, “You look really… approachable.”

“I’m a marketing director, Kyungsoo. It’s my job appeal to people.” Chanyeol smiles. 

Kyungsoo orders the waitress to bring them more beer.

“I know. You do appeal to people, though. But my first thought was you’re a model,” Kyungsoo says, eyes gazing at Chanyeol from head to toe, “I guess it’s the height.”

Chanyeol laughs, “I get that a lot, actually. But no, I’m too awkward to be a model. I can’t pose even to save my life.”

“Well, I’m sure that there’s no way you’re worse than me. I freeze when people try to take my picture – it’s reflex.”

“I guess we’re just not born to be models.”

The waitress then comes with two jugs of beer. Both Chanyeol and Kyungsoo then chat about their lives. Chanyeol learns that Kyungsoo is in his final year of university and is doing both internship during the weekdays and part time jobs during the weekends. He also learns that Kyungsoo is older than both Jongin and Sehun, but he’s still in university because he had to stall his education to help his sick mother get treatment. He only gets to pursue his studies after his mother had passed, and although everyone in his class is younger than him, and it seems too late for him to get his degree, Kyungsoo doesn’t let it get him down because despite the difficulties, he’s just happy that he’s finally pursuing his dreams and learning things that he loves.

Chanyeol then tells him about his job, about Sehun and Jongin, and about Baekhyun. He doesn’t go into details but Kyungsoo gets the gist of it anyway. To Chanyeol’s relief, Kyungsoo doesn’t press the subject further and just listens.

Chanyeol realises that Kyungsoo is a great listener.

They talk until closing time. As they step outside, Chanyeol feels lighter and happier than before. 

Kyungsoo helps Chanyeol get a cab, and before Chanyeol gets into the cab, Kyungsoo stops him and asks, “I… I don’t usually do this but…” he fidgets, “I really enjoy talking to you so m – may I ask for your number?”

Chanyeol smiles.

As he sits at the back of the cab, he checks his phone and sees a text from Kyungsoo.

_ Kyungsoo: Thanks for tonight. _

_ Chanyeol: no problem! i had a great time! _

Chanyeol puts the phone inside his pocket as he stares out the window. He let his mind wander for a bit, and then he feels vibration in his pocket, so he takes his phone out.

_ Kyungsoo: I hope to see you again soon. _

_ Chanyeol: me too. just set the date, i’ll be there. _

//

Baekhyun sits on the couch, fidgeting. He glances at his watch, feeling even more and more anxious when it’s getting really late and Chanyeol has not come back yet.

_ Where the fuck is he? _

Baekhyun has sent him texts asking him to come back because it’s getting late. That he’s not mad anymore and he’s resolved everything he’s feeling (he hasn’t, but he’s not gonna say that to Chanyeol) and he’s worried when Chanyeol’s not here yet. He knows that Chanyeol is a grown man but they’re in a foreign place  – so excuse him for being a little worried.

And for those reasons, Baekhyun almost jumped out of his skin when the door opens and Chanyeol walks in.

“Where the hell have you been?” he exclaims, jumping out of the couch before walking towards Chanyeol. Chanyeol towers over him, but Baekhyun has never been the one to be intimidated by that.

“… out?”

“You couldn’t call? Couldn’t reply to my text? Your last text was three hours ago, Chanyeol! No news from you since then!” Baekhyun punches Chanyeol’s shoulder, “Do you know how worried I was? You dumbo!”

“I’m okay, Baekhyun. I know how to take care of myself.”

“I know you can, but you should’ve told me where you were! The last text you sent, you said you’re coming back in an hour but no news from you for the next three!” Baekhyun says, frustrated, “We’re not familiar with this town, Chanyeol. What was I supposed to think? What if you got robbed? Or kidnapped? Or-”

“But I’m okay, aren’t I?” Chanyeol interrupts, stopping Baekhyun, “I’m just – I really don’t want to fight, okay? It’s been a long day and all I wanna do is sleep.” He sighs “I’m sorry that I ghosted like that – I won’t do it again.”

Chanyeol looks so tired that Baekhyun doesn’t have the heart to keep arguing any longer. He nods, so Chanyeol gives him a tired smile before ruffling his hair. Chanyeol then makes his way to the bathroom to take a shower and Baekhyun settles on the couch. He pulls the blanket over him, up to his cheeks, but sleep won’t come no matter what. He blinks owlishly at the ceiling, still thinking about the incident at the restaurant.

Baekhyun almost jumps when Chanyeol get out of the bathroom and makes his way to the bed. He sees Baekhyun is still awake, and he asks, “You sure you don’t want the bed?”

“No, I’m okay.” Baekhyun says, “You should sleep. We have an early day tomorrow.”

“Yeah, okay.”

Baekhyun hears Chanyeol settle on the bed and turns off the light. It’s pitch dark except for the moonlight illuminating through the curtains.

Baekhyun wonders how Chanyeol can feel so far when he’s so near.

“Chanyeol?”

“Hm?” Baekhyun hears Chanyeol’s voice, he sounds confused, probably is about to fall asleep.

“I’m sorry for what I said at the restaurant.” Baekhyun mutters, “I shouldn’t have asked you that question, and I definitely shouldn’t have gotten mad at you. It was immature of me, and I’m sorry.”

Chanyeol sighs, “It’s okay. I’m sorry too.”

Baekhyun heaves a sigh of relief, but before he’s about to close his eyes, he hears Chanyeol say, “Baekhyun, just know, there’s nothing wrong with you. Please don’t think that I broke up with you because you’re lacking something. You’re not. To me, you’re perfect,” Chanyeol pauses, “Letting you go was the hardest decision I ever had to make.”

“But it was the right one.” Baekhyun says.

There’s a beat of silence.

“We won’t be where we are now if we stayed together. You know that, right?” 

“I know. I just wish…” Baekhyun feels his heart grow heavy, “I just wish things are a little different, that’s all.”

_ I wish you’re still mine and I’m still yours. _

“You’re my first love, Baekhyun. You’ll always be special, and I’ll always love you. Don’t forget that, okay?”

Baekhyun doesn’t answer. 

After a while, he says, “And I’ll always love you too.”

Chanyeol doesn’t answer. Baekhyun hears his soft snoring, indicating that Chanyeol has fallen asleep.

Baekhyun turns to his side and closes his eyes.

_ I’ll always love you. _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading my sweets! I hope you liked this chapter! Come talk to me on Twitter (@ninisbabygirl) if you'd like! <3


	3. the party

Baekhyun is struggling. It’s been fifteen minutes since he started working on his tie but no matter what he does, it just  _ refuses _ to look presentable. 

Cursing under his breath, Baekhyun yanks the tie from his neck and throws it on the couch. He then looks into the mirror again to see if his outfit looks better without it.

It doesn’t. 

So, Baekhyun grabs the tie and painstakingly starts the whole process all over again.

“Who the fuck hosts a birthday party  _ one day _ before a wedding? Who does that?” Baekhyun complains under his breath as he checks his own reflection in the mirror. He looks good, but the thought of socializing annoys him because he’s had a long day and he’s tired and he just wants to curl up on the couch and watch some mind-numbing television shows.

But as Mrs. Park had informed both him and Chanyeol during breakfast this morning, Somin is organizing a surprise birthday party for her fiancé, Kim Minseok this evening. It will be held at her house and they’re invited, so they have to go. Baekhyun thinks it’s ridiculous that Somin still has the energy to host a birthday party before her own wedding tomorrow. Sure, it’s a small one with a few friends and family, and that it’s more of a quiet formal dinner than a full-blown party, but still, does this woman ever relax?

Baekhyun shakes his head. He doesn’t want to let this bother him at all because it’s not going to be his problem if Somin is too tired for her own wedding tomorrow.

_ Baekhyun had a good day today. He spent his morning walking around the lake, enjoying the beautiful scenery, and partaking in the activities available there. He talked to a few people, joined more outdoor activities, and ate lunch with a group of tourists from Dubai who were happy to let him join them. He didn’t come back to the hotel room until when it’s time for him to get ready, and that meant that he hadn’t seen Chanyeol the whole day. _

_ He’s glad that Chanyeol and him are still civil around one another. He was scared that it might be awkward between them, considering what happened last night. He didn’t think he’s going to survive this trip if he had to deal with the awkwardness, or worse, Chanyeol’s silence, all the time. He might even book his flight home himself if that happened – promises be damned. _

_ Thankfully, Chanyeol acted like last night didn’t happen, so Baekhyun gladfully played along.  _

_ When Baekhyun got back to the room after spending the whole day outside, he found Chanyeol on the bed with his laptop perched on his lap. He had his glasses on, and the way he was so focused that he didn’t even register that Baekhyun had entered the room showed that he’s working on some reports because Chanyeol was always meticulous when it came to his work. _

_ “Hey there,” Baekhyun greeted. _

_ Chanyeol looked up, “Hey. Didn’t see you at all today.” _

_ “Yeah, missed me?” _

_ Chanyeol chuckled, turning off his laptop and setting it aside, “Did you have a good time?” _

_  “Yeah. The most amazing time!” his eyes then darted towards the laptop, “Have you been cooped up in this room the whole day? Doing work?” _

_ “Not really. I went out for lunch with a friend earlier,” Chanyeol replied. Baekhyun’s brow raised, so Chanyeol continued, “And yeah, aside from that, I spent the whole day here. Sehun wants this report done quickly and I need to get that kid off my ass.” _

_ Baekhyun frowned, “That’s unfair. You’re on a holiday, so why are you working?” he sighed, “Sehun should give you a pay raise if this is how things are gonna be.” _

_ “I totally agree,” Chanyeol shrugged as he got up from the bed and made his way towards Baekhyun, “But I’ve finished the report so I’m free now. Sehun’s not allowed to bother me until we get home.” _

_ “Good.” Baekhyun said, his heart hammering wildly in his chest when Chanyeol got closer. Thankfully, Chanyeol stopped just a few feet from him. “We have another day after the wedding, right? We should go out then. You should see the lake, Chanyeol! And the activities – they’re so fun!” _

_ He then went on and told Chanyeol about the things he did, and about the friends he made. Chanyeol listened attentively to everything. _

_ “And the food! Oh my God, the food is amazing!” _

_ “Okay now you’re purposely making me jealous,” Chanyeol pouted, “I only had a lousy sandwich for lunch.” _

_ “Hey! I asked you whether you wanted to join me and you said no, so, it’s your loss!” _

_ When Chanyeol’s still pouting, Baekhyun took the first step forward and patted his cheek, “We’ll go together after this whole thing is settled. I’ll show you around, and lunch is on me, okay?” _

_ At that, Chanyeol smiled, and his smile was so bright that Baekhyun felt himself melting right then and there.  _

_ “Okay,” Chanyeol said happily “It’s a date.” _

Baekhyun feels his cheeks redden when he thinks about Chanyeol’s words. Date. That’s just an expression, right? Of course Chanyeol doesn’t actually mean a date. Why would he? And why would he,  _ Baekhyun _ , think too much about it?

He shakes his head, willing himself to focus on the task at hand (the tie) instead of Chanyeol. 

A few aggravating minutes later, Chanyeol enters the room. 

“The tie still not co-operating?” Chanyeol asks – he sounds so amused and Baekhyun wants to kick his shin. What’s so funny about his fashion crisis?

Chanyeol walks towards him and then turns him around. Baekhyun finds himself face to face with Chanyeol who is already dressed up and ready to go, and he can’t help but to admire how beautiful he looks. He knows he’s staring and Chanyeol seems to notice that too because Baekhyun realises how his ears redden the longer Baekhyun stares at him.

He then pulls Baekhyun’s hands away from the tie and then starts working on it himself.

“Tell me again how you’re working in the fashion industry but still doesn’t know how to work with a tie?”

“Shut up. Everyone has their own weakness – this happens to be mine,” Baekhyun pouts, “Why do you think I never wear this thing?”

Chanyeol laughs, “Remember when you used to ask me to tie this for you when you had morning meetings?”

“I remember you never doing it unless there’s a reward in it for you.”

Baekhyun remembers the mornings when he needed to go to meetings so he had to wear his formal attire. He was never good with ties so he had to wake Chanyeol up early in the morning to ask for his help. Chanyeol would never do it unless Baekhyun reward him with something, and Baekhyun would always reward him with kisses and... other things.

Chanyeol smiles, maybe just like Baekhyun, he’s thinking of the fond memories.

“There you go,” he says once he’s done.

Baekhyun turns to check his appearance in the mirror. 

He looks complete now. 

He smiles, satisfied with his attire –  _ finally. _

Baekhyun turns to Chanyeol to thank him, but then he realises that Chanyeol’s smile has dimmed and is now replaced by a nervous look on his face. Baekhyun knows that Chanyeol is anxious at the thought of pretending in front of his family, and Baekhyun is nervous too because there are a lot of things that can go wrong and he’s so afraid that they might get busted.

Baekhyun is worried just like Chanyeol, but the difference is that he knows that this is their sole mission – the one reason why they’re here – so they have to do it no matter how terrible they might feel afterwards.

Baekhyun takes a deep breath and exhales – this always helps to calm him down. He then smiles, pokes Chanyeol’s side, “Ready to go, ‘boyfriend’?”

Chanyeol blinks, startled by the name. But then he returns Baekhyun’s smile and says, “Yeah, let’s go, ‘boyfriend’.”

///

“Alright, be cool,” Chanyeol says once they’re in front of Somin’s penthouse, “Just be cool.”

“Are you saying that to me or to yourself?” Baekhyun asks as he glances at Chanyeol. Baekhyun was fine before, had just calmed down, but Chanyeol repeating the same phrase from the moment they got out of the car makes Baekhyun nervous all of the sudden. 

“To myself,” Chanyeol swiftly answers, “I’m not worried about you. You’re great. You’ll be fine.”

Baekhyun’s expression softens, “And you’ll be fine too. You’re with me, remember?”

Chanyeol nods, “Just give me a sign when I’m talking too much, okay? You know how I get when I’m nervous.”

Baekhyun knows. Chanyeol has always been a talker. Baekhyun supposes that’s what makes Chanyeol so charming because he always has something to say so there’s no awkward moment when anyone is with him. 

However, Chanyeol is also a nervous talker in the sense that he speaks even more when he’s nervous. This eventually makes things worse for himself and other people around him, so it’s always up to Baekhyun to stop him from talking when he senses that Chanyeol is too nervous to think clearly.

“I know. Just follow my lead. I’ll do the talking.” Baekhyun says, “Just act like we’re dating and don’t leave my side.”

Chanyeol nods, looking like an obedient puppy ready to follow his master’s orders. It’s so endearing, Baekhyun laughs.

“Okay, ready?” Baekhyun’s hand is on the doorbell but then Chanyeol shakes his head. Baekhyun drops his hand.

“What is it?” he asks.

Chanyeol blushes. He seems to be debating with himself, but when Baekhyun continues to gaze at him, he comes to a decision.

“May I – may I hold your hand?”

Baekhyun feels his face grow hot. He’s sure that his face is probably as red as Chanyeol’s right now.

“S-sure…?”

“It’s just that… we held hands when we’re dating. And they used to see us hold hands a lot back then. I just think it helps to make our story more believable, y’know? It’s easy to look like a couple when we actually act like a couple, right?

“Chanyeol…”

“If they’re convinced, then they won’t ask us a lot of questions, so this party will be bearable. Like, it’s not like we’re gonna do anything more in front of them. But if you’re not comfortable, then it’s okay, we don’t have to do it…”

“Chanyeol…”

“I mean, the choice is in your hand – pun  _ not  _ intended. But really, It’s up to you. I don’t want to make this uncomfortable. We can definitely  _ not  _ hold hands and act like a couple. Yeah, we can still convince them – I just think it’s…”

“Chanyeol!” Baekhyun raises his voice to shut Chanyeol up, “You’re doing it again.”

“Oh,” A look of realization dawns on Chanyeol’s face, “Okay. Okay, sorry. It’s just that – it’s so hard to keep calm about situations like this. I mean, I know my family’s not gonna ask a lot of questions, but what if they do? I don’t want to burden you to answer them. You’re already so kind to - umf!”

Chanyeol stops talking once Baekhyun places his palm on his mouth. He’s so close now, bodies pressed together. Chanyeol is grateful he’s prevented from saying anything due to Baekhyun’s palm on his mouth because if not, he’d be blabbering even more now.

“Shut up,” Baekhyun says, “Don’t say another word. Don’t say anything until a question is directed at you, understand?”

Chanyeol slowly nods. Baekhyun stares at him, judging whether Chanyeol really is ready. After a few seconds, he decides Chanyeol has calmed down enough for him to safely pull away.

Chanyeol exhales once Baekhyun is away, and then he breathes in and out to further calm himself down. The idea of having to pretend in front of his family really doesn’t sit well with him because he was raised to be an honest young man. Guilt eats him from the inside and his heart hasn’t stopped beating wildly since this morning.

However, this is _ his _ idea. He’s the one who convinced Baekhyun to pretend to be his boyfriend. He’s the one came up with all of this. He can’t back out now. He needs to go through with this even if he hates it.

Baekhyun then takes his hand, his hand much smaller than Chanyeol’s, but fits perfectly anyway when he intertwines their fingers. He feels so warm in Chanyeol’s hand, and it’s comfortable. 

This feels comfortable.

Chanyeol feels himself breathing more evenly. 

Chanyeol finally calms down.

Baekhyun pushes the doorbell button and waits. He squeezes Chanyeol hand in reassurance as he looks up to Chanyeol and smiles, and Chanyeol feels like Baekhyun has squeezed his heart just the same.

“Chanyeol! You’re here!” Somin squeals when she opens the door. She rushes to give Chanyeol a hug, breaking Chanyeol away from Baekhyun, “Channie, I’ve missed you so much!”

Baekhyun rolls his eyes as he watches the two cousins in front of him. Somin is hugging Chanyeol so tightly that Baekhyun is sure that Chanyeol is a few seconds away from suffocating.

“I – I missed you too,” Chanyeol manages, pulling away from Somin. Somin smiles widely at his remark, squeals again before pulling him into another suffocating hug. Chanyeol looks at Baekhyun, eyes pleading for help.

Baekhyun clears his throat.

At that, Somin stops and turns her head towards Baekhyun. 

“Baekhyun, hi! Didn’t see you there,” she says as she lets go of Chanyeol. Chanyeol heaves a relieved sigh, but that goes unnoticed by Somin. Somin is still smiling but her smile seems far too wide to be genuine. 

Baekhyun knows that Somin doesn’t like him. While everyone else is fond of him, Somin is apprehensive and reserved when Baekhyun’s around. It used to bother Baekhyun a lot because as Chanyeol’s boyfriend, he wanted Chanyeol’s entire family to approve of him. But then he learnt from Chanyeol’s sister than Somin is protective of Chanyeol more than the others because they grew up together. Chanyeol spent most of his childhood with Somin and Somin did the same, so it’s logical that Somin wanted the best for Chanyeol.

Baekhyun is still offended that she thinks that he’s not the best for Chanyeol.

He’s not irrational – he definitely understands Somin’s behaviour, but that doesn’t mean he has to accept it.

But they’re all adults here. The least they can do is be civil.

Baekhyun fakes a smile.

“If you’re not too busy suffocating my boyfriend, you’d notice that I’m here!” Baekhyun says through gritted teeth, still maintaining his toothy smile while pulling Chanyeol by the hand. 

Somin’s expression falters.

“Kidding!” Baekhyun adds, laughing out loud for more effect, “I understand. You’re excited to see Chanyeol.”

Somin grins, “I’m excited to see you too, Baekhyun. Both of you! It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

Baekhyun doesn’t believe a word she says.

“Yeah, it has. You look amazing, by the way.”

And that wasn’t a lie. He might not like Somin, but he won’t deny that Somin is one of the most beautiful women he’s ever met – and that says something, considering that Baekhyun works in the modelling industry and is surrounded by models practically every day. Her hair is the blackest Baekhyun has ever seen, her eyes are round like Chanyeol’s, her lips are so red and her skin is as smooth as glass.

“As do you,” Somin says politely, “I heard you launched your latest collection? I’ve been meaning to get my hands on your stuff, Baekhyun. All of them look amazing!”

Baekhyun smiles, genuine this time, “Yeah, I’m proud of them.”

“And you should,” Somin says. She then moves aside and opens the door to her house, “Come on in, you two. Everyone’s waiting in the living room.”

Somin enters the house, leaving Baekhyun with Chanyeol. Baekhyun smiles at Chanyeol, relieved that it wasn’t as hard as they anticipated it would be because Somin didn’t suspect a thing.

Chanyeol returns his smile, and hand in hand, they walk into the house and prepare themselves to meet the family.

///

Upon arriving, Somin guides them to the living room and there, she starts introducing Baekhyun and Chanyeol to some of her friends and her fiancé’s friends. From talking to them, Baekhyun learns that Somin’s fiancé, Kim Minseok, is the CEO of the Kim Corporation, one of the biggest corporations in the country and also one of the rival companies for Somin’s family’s own company. 

Baekhyun wonders how Somin and Minseok fell in love.

Then, along with Chanyeol, they greet some of Chanyeol’s family friends, including Kim Junmyeon, whom Baekhyun is very fond of. 

They met at Yoora’s wedding a few years ago, when Baekhyun almost cried because he was nervous about meeting Chanyeol’s extended family for the first time. Chanyeol introduced him to Junmyeon first, and Junmyeon’s friendliness and kindness helped to calm him down and assure him that Chanyeol’s family was going to like him.

Ever since then, Baekhyun likes the family events better when Junmyeon’s around. His presence is always comforting and Baekhyun feels more welcomed when Junmyeon is there.

Chanyeol and Baekhyun catch up with Junmyeon for a bit. Baekhyun notices that Junmyeon is a little off today as he’s eyeing both of them weirdly, like he’s noticing that something is different. Baekhyun feels his heart race at that because he knows that Junmyeon is very observant and can detect lies like a professional. He knows that Junmyeon suspects something and is about to ask them upfront about it, but before he gets to do so, someone interrupts him.

“Chanyeol, Baekhyun! There you are!” 

Baekhyun immediately turns to find the source of the voice, secretly grateful for whoever it is. 

He finds that the voice belongs to Yoora, who is making her way towards them.

“Excuse me,” Junmyeon nods curtly. He shares a look with Chanyeol, and he seems to want to ask him what he’s been wanting to ask but then decides against it and walks away. Baekhyun heaves a relieved sigh. 

That was close.

When Yoora reaches both of them, Baekhyun steps forward and gives her a hug. She hugs him back and then pulls away to ruffle Chanyeol’s hair, earning a complaint from Chanyeol who hates people messing with his hair.

“I haven’t seen you since forever!” Yoora says to Baekhyun, “Where on earth have you been?” 

“Everywhere,” Baekhyun chuckles, “Work is crazy lately. Just launched my new collection so there’s a lot of things to be done.”

“I know that. But what I’m saying is, I haven’t seen you  _ forever. _ Like, you never come for our weekly dinner anymore!” Yoora pouts, punching Baekhyun’s shoulder playfully, “If I didn’t know better, I’d think that you two have broken up or something.”

She laughs and Baekhyun laughs along albeit a little forcefully. Chanyeol has completely froze next to Baekhyun, looking at both of them with an expression of utter panic.

_ Oh no. _

“As if I’ll ever let this one go,” Baekhyun quickly hooks his arm around Chanyeol’s, letting his other hand caress the length of his bicep lovingly while maintaining the biggest smile on his face.

_ Oh, he’s been working out _ , Baekhyun muses, his hands unconsciously tighten around Chanyeol’s arm to feel the muscle.

_ No!  _

He can’t get distracted. 

He quickly loosens his grip, “We’re... we’re doing better than ever.”

“I know. I was only joking! I can tell that you two are going strong.” Yoora giggles, “You’d think that after all these years, Chanyeol would stop acting like a lovesick fool but he’s still like that!” Yoora looks at Baekhyun with the biggest smile on her face, “Literally can’t shut up about you every time he sees us. Baekhyun this, Baekhyun that. You really got my brother head over heels for you huh.”

“Yoora, shut up,” Chanyeol says through gritted teeth.

“I –“ Baekhyun is at loss for words. His heart races. Chanyeol still talks about him?

Chanyeol on the other hand, has turned beet red, clearly embarrassed that his own sister would expose him like that. He knows that if he tries to deny it, Yoora would tease him further and maybe expose even more things that he’d like to keep a secret. So, he clears his throat and changes the subject.

And he succeeds as Yoora immediately eats the bait and starts telling them about her life. Baekhyun then chimes in with updates on his own career, his life, and about Sehun and Jongin because Yoora is curious, and Chanyeol only adds his input once in a while. The conversation mostly revolves between Baekhyun and Yoora but Chanyeol maintains his presence, keeping Baekhyun in his arms at all times.

Yoora looks behind Baekhyun, where Somin is busy ordering the caterers to hurry up with the food preparation because Minseok is coming any time now and she doesn’t want the surprise to be ruined. 

She chuckles.

“I can’t believe our Somin is getting married.”

Chanyeol turns his head to follow his sister’s gaze, Baekhyun follows his.

“Yeah,” Chanyeol says, “Feels like only yesterday that she’s forcing me to be her pretend groom and you her pretend makeup artist.”

“She’s so bossy back then, wasn’t she?”

“Yeah. We’re her little servants back then.”

“And that bossy little girl’s gonna be someone’s wife tomorrow.” Yoora says warmly, eyes bright when she’s thinking about the old times. Chanyeol nods, feeling nostalgic himself. However, he doesn’t get to dwell on the memory further as he then spots a catering worker walking towards them with a tray of champagne. He realises that he hasn’t drunk anything since he gets here and he could use a glass of champagne.

When the worker is close enough, Chanyeol extends his hand forward and gets a glass for himself. He’s just started drinking when Yoora asks, “When are you two gonna get married yourself?”

Chanyeol chokes on his champagne.

Baekhyun quickly gets some tissues and then pats Chanyeol’s back as Chanyeol coughs.

“You don’t have to be so surprised!” Yoora says in absolute hilarity.

“Don’t spring questions like that!” Chanyeol exclaims. Yoora laughs when Chanyeol turns red like a tomato, and Baekhyun just chuckles at himself as he rubs Chanyeol’s back to give him some relief. 

“Please, I know you’re plann-”

“Mom!” Chanyeol quickly exclaims, waving at the woman who is walking towards them, “Mom, here!”

Mrs. Park smiles as she gets to them, hugging Baekhyun and Chanyeol and then glares at Yoora, “Have you been traumatizing the kids again, Yoora?”

Yoora gasps, “Me? Traumatizing them? Never!” she puts her hand on her heart as if wounded, “How could you think so badly of me, Mother?” she says dramatically. 

“Your hobby is teasing these kids, Yoora. Don’t think I don’t know.”

“Mom, they’re grown men,” Yoora says, “I wouldn’t call them kids if I were you.” 

“But you’re not me,” Mrs. Park replies swiftly. She then reaches up and uses both her hands to squish Chanyeol’s cheeks, “How can you look at this face and not see a baby. My lovely baby boy.”

“Mom, you’re embarrassing me,” Chanyeol flushes, eyes glancing at Baekhyun next to him. Baekhyun bits his bottom lip, clearly trying to contain his laughter. Chanyeol sighs and continues, “In front of my boyfriend at that.”

“Mom, stop it,” Yoora pulls her mother towards her, “Keep doing that and Baekhyun might realise how much of momma’s boy Chanyeol is,” Chanyeol glares at his sister, but Yoora doesn’t pay attention towards him and whispers, “You don’t want your son to be single, do you?”

“I think I already know all that,” Baekhyun says, feeling so fond at this giant of a man in front of him, “He might be a momma’s boy, might be a big baby, might be a little bit of a geek but-” he pauses when Chanyeol gasps, offended that Baekhyun’s not taking his side. Baekhyun’s smile widen.

“A whole lot of geek, but he’s  _ my _ geek.”

At that, Chanyeol’s face softens. His smile is bright when he looks at Baekhyun, and his hand is warm when he takes Baekhyun’s hand in his and kissed it. Baekhyun feels his heart swell at that gesture. For a moment, it feels like they’re an actual couple. That this isn’t pretend. Just like the good ol’ times. 

Chanyeol then brings Baekhyun closer to him by hooking his other arm around Baekhyun’s shoulder and gives him a kiss on the top of his head.

Definitely doesn’t feel like pretending at all.

“Okay everyone!” Somin squeals, clapping her hands “Minseok’s here! Get ready!” 

Someone turns off the light and everyone goes quiet. A few moments later, they all hear voices in the hallway, and when the voices get to the living room, the lights are on again and everyone yells, “Surprise!”

Kim Minseok looks shocked. Baekhyun can tell that he is overwhelmed by the crowd suddenly cheering and yelling happy birthday at him, but he recovers quickly because Somin has her hands around him and pulls him into a kiss. He visibly relaxes, mutters thank you to her before greeting everyone else. 

Somin looks so relieved that her plan works, so Baekhyun congratulates her for her hard work. She beams.

The party goes on smoothly. Somin brings Minseok to greet them and Baekhyun finds that despite Minseok’s success, he’s actually very humble and shy. Baekhyun could tell that he’s introverted, considering that Somin does most of the talking. Most importantly, Baekhyun sees how much he loves her, and how much he admires her.

Somin is so lucky.

Baekhyun feels a hand wrapped around his waist. He knows right away that it’s Chanyeol’s but the intimacy hits him like a truck. Chanyeol has his arm wrapped around Baekhyun’s shoulders initially, but Chanyeol seems to have gotten so comfortable that he unconsciously moves his arm. He’s always possessive, touchy, clingy – and Baekhyun loves it. He remembers how Chanyeol used to need to touch him at any time and Baekhyun never stopped him because there’s nothing he loved more that Chanyeol’s hands on him, around him. 

Baekhyun’s smile falter at the memory.

This is wrong. They’re not together anymore. There should be a line that they shouldn’t cross – touching included. Baekhyun needs to do something because he too, is getting too comfortable with this. The further he is from the reality, the bigger the chance of him getting hurt when this weekend ends.

No matter how much he is enjoying this, how much he loves feeling like they’re together again, this is all pretend. They’re just putting on a façade. A game that he agrees to play with Chanyeol. 

He looks at Chanyeol who is immersed in a conversation with Minseok. Baekhyun feels his heart hurt when he realises that while it _ feels _ like this man is his, he’s actually not. Chanyeol is so good at pretending that Baekhyun forgets about their game. He forgets that he’s not actually Chanyeol’s boyfriend anymore. He forgets that this is their deal, and Chanyeol is just doing his part of the deal.

That they’re not in love anymore. They’re not together anymore. That none of this is real.

It’s so easy to forget the bitter history between them when Chanyeol is so convincing. It’s so easy to forget why he’s here at the first place. It’s so easy to forget to pretend.

But this moment right here, this is the happiest he’s been in a while. 

He shouldn’t forget. It’s dangerous. He should not forget.

But he really, really wants to.

///

Baekhyun manages to get out of the conversation by saying that he needs to use the bathroom. However, as he walks, he then makes a turn to the balcony as he desperately needs some fresh air.

There, he finds Junmyeon, sitting on one of the chairs and seemingly in deep thought.

“Hey,” Baekhyun greets. Junmyeon looks up at the sound of his voice and smiles.

“Hey yourself.”

“Why aren’t you inside?” 

“Didn’t feel like talking to anyone,” Junmyeon answers honestly, earning a chuckle from Baekhyun, “You?”

“Same.”

Junmyeon nods and then darts his gaze to the floor. Baekhyun senses that something is off with Junmyeon today. Sadness practically radiates from him in waves. He’s not his usual cheery self, and it’s unlike him to suddenly isolate himself from the party and lets conversations die when someone talks to him. 

Something is definitely off, but Baekhyun doesn’t think it’s his place to pry. He has a feeling that Junmyeon doesn’t want to talk about it either.

“Do you need to be alone?” Baekhyun asks, “Because I can go. I don’t want to bother you.”

“No,” Junmyeon lightly grabs Baekhyun’s arm when Baekhyun gets up from his seat, “No. Please stay. Don’t mind me.”

Baekhyun pauses before he sits down again. They then sit in comfortable silence. Just minding their own thoughts, not saying anything.

“I’m so glad you and Chanyeol have made up.” Junmyeon suddenly says.

Baekhyun freezes. 

“W- what do you mean?”

“Chanyeol told me that you two had a big fight,” Junmyeon says, eyebrows furrowed when Baekhyun appears confused, “I didn’t mean to pry, I swear. It’s just that there’s this one time when Chanyeol wasn’t like himself. And you never came around anymore, so I thought of the worst.” Junmyeon looks at Baekhyun guiltily, “I thought you two broke up so I asked him about you. He said you two had a misunderstanding, but I guess it’s all good now, huh?”

Baekhyun doesn’t say anything.

Junmyeon is worried, “Are you mad? I’m sorry for assuming the worst. It’s none of my business, I know. I was just worried about Chanyeol and he’s just – he completely shut down at that time and it wasn’t like him at him and I was just worried…”

“Junmyeon,” Baekhyun interrupts, “It’s okay. I don’t mind.”

Junmyeon sighs, relieved that Baekhyun isn’t angry. He then darts his eyes to the sky, and Baekhyun knows that he’s in his own world again.

So Junmyeon notices that something is off. Baekhyun’s not surprised because Junmyeon is one of Chanyeol’s closest friend, someone that Chanyeol looks up to and someone whom he considers his older brother. Junmyeon is a good friend so of course he’d notice the changes and ask Chanyeol about it to make sure that he’s okay. Baekhyun suspects that Chanyeol must have panicked and created a story about a fight. 

Sometimes Baekhyun wonders why it’s so difficult for Chanyeol to just tell everyone that they don’t work out – that the relationship ended and they both went their separate ways.

“Sometimes I envy you two.”

Baekhyun turns to his side, “Why?”

“You two always make it work, y’know? You complete Chanyeol. He’s the happiest, the best version of himself when he’s with you. You two are more than just a couple – you’re a team, and I find that admirable. I know that to some, that’s the bare minimum that couples do but,” Junmyeon chuckles bitterly, “Some of us can’t do that.”

Baekhyun frowns. Junmyeon looks so upset that there are tears in his eyes. He’s not crying, but Baekhyun knows that he’s holding it in. 

Junmyeon is hurting.

“Did something happen with Joohyun?”

Joohyun is Junmyeon’s girlfriend for four years. They met during their final year in university and have dated ever since then. Come to think of it, only now Baekhyun realises that Junmyeon is here alone. This is a rare sight because those two are inseparable – there’s hardly any event when Junmyeon doesn’t have Joohyun by his side.

“Can’t you tell? We broke up.” Junmyeon replies, trying to sound casual but he looks too upset for it to be believable, “She just… left.” his voice break, but then he clears his throat, refusing to let his emotion show in front of Baekhyun, “It’s no big deal. People date and break up all the time – it’s really not a big deal. Not a big deal.”

But it  _ is _ a big deal. Junmyeon keeps repeating it more to himself than Baekhyun but no matter how many times he repeats it, it still feels like a big deal. 

When two people were together for as long as Junmyeon and Joohyun were and have loved each other so deeply and freely, it  _ is _ a big deal when they break up. The break up has got to hurt a lot. It is the worst kind of pain because your heart is breaking and you can’t stop it. It is going to keep on breaking.

Junmyeon tries to cover the wound. Pretend that it doesn’t exist. He tries to ignore its existence but it’s there and demands to be felt. That’s how break up wounds are like – there’s no running from it. 

The only way to start healing is to face it.

Baekhyun knows this.

“Junmyeon, I’m so sorry.”

Junmyeon shakes his head, “No, don’t be sorry. We’re just not meant to be, so…”

Junmyeon sighs. Baekhyun has never seen him this dejected. It’s not like Junmyeon to ever show that he’s upset. He’s always the kind of person who puts a brave front for the sake of the people around him. He tries to cheer everyone up when he senses that the mood is down, he takes the lead when he needs to, he gives life to dead conversations, and he gives advice when someone needs it. 

For him to lose all strength like this, Baekhyun feels his heart break for Junmyeon.

“Don’t be like us, okay?” Junmyeon suddenly says, startling Baekhyun, “You and Chanyeol, I mean. Don’t be like us. If anything happens between you two, talk it out. Don’t assume things, don’t make decisions for one another. Make decisions together,” Junmyeon sighs, “Just… he loves you so much, Baekhyun. It’s the greatest love I’ve ever seen. I had that kind of love but I lost it. I don’t want you two to lose it.”

Baekhyun feels like someone has his heart in the palm of their hands and squeezes.

“Junmyeon, Chanyeol and I… we – we’re not…” Baekhyun starts, the urge to tell Junmyeon the truth is overwhelming, but words die in his throat when Junmyeon looks at him, calm, yet dejected.

“Baekhyun, don’t,” he says. Baekhyun waits for him to elaborate, but Junmyeon just sighs, “I just need to believe in something, okay? Just…” he takes a deep breath, “Don’t say anything else.”

Baekhyun doesn’t understand what Junmyeon means by that.

After a while, Junmyeon seems to has gotten his emotions in check. He takes a deep breath and exhales, and then gets up from his seat. 

“Just so you know, Chanyeol told me that you’re the one. He never says that about anyone else. Just about you. So, if you have any doubts about him, just know that he says that. And until today, I know he believes that.”

Junmyeon then smiles and walks away, leaving Baekhyun with even more questions than before.

///

“How did you two meet?” Chanyeol asks Somin and Minseok. He’s alone with them now because his mother and sister are off bothering other people and Baekhyun is still not back from the bathroom. At his question, Minseok wraps his arm around Somin’s waist and smiles.

“My company had to seal a deal with Somin’s company and she was there as a representative because the one in charge was down with fever. We got to talking and things just escalated from there.”

“You make it sound so easy,” Somin rolls her eyes, but there’s no bite in her tone. She sounds amused.

“Isn’t it easy?” Minseok asks, “It is to me. I know I like you the moment I saw you. I get to know you and I learn that you’re beautiful inside and out. I know from our first date that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. It really is easy.”

Chanyeol smiles, “That’s cute.”

“I know,” Minseok replies smugly.

“What he’s saying, Chanyeol,” Somin’s is blushing, but she looks so happy that she’s radiant, “It is easy because he never gives up. Minseok is so…” she looks at her fiancé, “adamant in making this work. He stays even when I try to push him away. He accepts my flaws even when I don’t accept them myself. He loves me despite me annoying him every single day. No one’s ever love me like he does.”

Somin sighs as she caresses Minseok’s cheek, “You think it’s easy for us. I think we’re so lucky we found each other.”

Chanyeol is happy for them. He knows Somin since he was little so he knows how Somin feels about love and marriage. Despite her being an active businesswoman, Chanyeol knows that deep inside, Somin is still that little girl who wants a big family whom she can dot on, still that little girl who believes that there’s a man out there who will sweep her off her feet and loves her unconditionally.

He’s happy that Somin’s dream came true. 

Chanyeol then scans the room, watching his family members and Somin’s and Minseok’s friends play some game at the table. Some of them are eating and dancing, but the crowd is mostly at the table. He searches for Baekhyun but he’s nowhere to be seen. 

That’s weird. What’s taking him so long at the toilet?

He’s about to get up to search for him when he sees a familiar face among one of the workers who are busy cleaning the tables.

“Kyungsoo?” Chanyeol whispers before getting up and making his way towards the man. Kyungsoo has his back on Chanyeol now and he is carrying a tray of empty glasses and plates to take back to the kitchen. He doesn’t notice Chanyeol approaching, so he then walks towards the kitchen. Chanyeol has to speed up to catch up with him.

“Kyungsoo!” Chanyeol calls. Kyungsoo stops in his tracks just before he enters the kitchen. He turns around, eyes widen at the sight of Chanyeol.

“What’re you doing here?” Kyungsoo asks. Before Chanyeol gets to answer, a woman comes out of the kitchen, wearing the same uniform as Kyungsoo. She stops when she sees Chanyeol and Kyungsoo, her eyes looking back and forth from Chanyeol and Kyungsoo, worried that she’s interrupting a moment.

“Um, do you need help with that?” she finally asks as she eyes the tray full of empty plates and glasses that Kyungsoo is holding, “I can get that.”

“No, it’s okay,” Kyungsoo says, “I’m getting there anyway.”

“It’s okay. You go talk to your friend,” she grins, “We’re just finishing up anyway, so you can take a break. You’ve been working non-stop – I’m sure Yixing would understand.”

She then takes the tray from Kyungsoo’s hand and nudges him toward Chanyeol. Kyungsoo blushes at that, probably embarrassed by her action, but Chanyeol doesn’t think much about it. He smiles and says, “So, you’re working here now?”

“Not  _ here _ . I’m working with a catering service now. My friend, Yixing, offers more money than the restaurant so I took it,” Kyungsoo replies nonchalantly, visibly more relaxed now because he gets to take a break, “The night we met was actually my last shift.”

“Oh? You didn’t tell me that!”

“It’s not exactly the most interesting information?” Kyungsoo laughs, “I got a better part-time job offer, I took it. Not a big deal.”

“I see,” Chanyeol nods in understanding, “Well, it’s nice to see you here!”

“Are they your family?” Kyungsoo eyes the crowd playing the game, “They’re really nice people. They saw how tired I was just now and said I should take a rest. Not a lot of rich people care about the workers.”

Chanyeol looks at Kyungsoo. He notices that there are bags under his eyes, his skin is pale and his cheeks sunken. He knows that Kyungsoo has been working non-stop so he must have been tired.  However, the thing is, Chanyeol doesn’t think that Kyungsoo realises that he’s tired. His eyes are still bright and cheerful, and he seems to find joy in the littlest things – even if it’s from just watching Chanyeol’s sister screaming in joy after winning the game.

The last bit makes Chanyeol smile too.

“She’s gorgeous.”

“Yeah, she is. Yoora’s beautiful.”

“Let me guess. She’s your sister?” Kyungsoo asks.

“Yes. How do you know?”

“I can tell,” Kyungsoo grins at Chanyeol, “Beauty runs in the family, I see.”

Chanyeol sputters, embarrassed by the sudden compliment. Kyungsoo seems satisfied by his reaction, so he laughs and playfully punches Chanyeol’s arm. They playfully bicker, talk for a bit before moving towards the dining room. Chanyeol then goes to get Kyungsoo something to drink and then they start talking about their day. Kyungsoo fills Chanyeol in on his work, Yixing, and his studies, while Chanyeol tells him stories about his family.

Talking to Kyungsoo is nice, Chanyeol thinks. It’s been a while since he meets someone he clicks with, so it’s nice to just chill and talk and get to know each other. Kyungsoo is fun too. His appearance can be deceiving because it’s so easy to assume that he’s serious all the time, but Chanyeol loves how easily Kyungsoo opens up to him. 

He can get used to this. 

Chanyeol and Kyungsoo gets so absorbed into the conversation that Chanyeol doesn’t realise that Baekhyun has just entered the living room.

And from the living room, he can see the dining area, and he can see Chanyeol with Kyungsoo. 

He stares, drinking the scene in. 

And then he walks away.

///

The ride back to the hotel is silent.

Chanyeol’s mother decided to stay at Yoora’s hotel for the night, so there’s only Chanyeol and Baekhyun at the backseat of the car. Chanyeol notices that Baekhyun, for some reason he doesn’t know, is giving him the cold shoulder. He has no idea what he did wrong because after talking to Kyungsoo, he went straight to Baekhyun who at that time was sitting alone on the couch.

But Baekhyun didn’t speak much. He gave him one-worded answers, froze when Chanyeol touched him, only let him hold his hand when everyone’s looking and immediately dropped his hand when no one’s paying attention to them, and all in all, tried to stay as far away from Chanyeol as possible.

Even now, Baekhyun sits so close to the door, putting as much distance between them as he can.

The rain starts to pour, so Chanyeol sits quietly and listens to the sound of the rain. Chanyeol winces when he hears the storm – and judging from the steady raindrops, Chanyeol can tell that there’s going to be thunder and lightning tonight – and he absolutely hates that.

He looks at Baekhyun, suddenly feeling a serious urge to get closer to him for comfort. But Baekhyun’s body language practically screams “leave me alone”, so Chanyeol just curls in on himself and looks outside – immediately closing his eyes when he sees lightning. 

Goodness, he hates the sight of lightning and the loudness of thunder.  _ He can’t handle them. He’s afraid of them. _

But from the looks of it, he has to deal with it the whole night anyway. That, added with Baekhyun’s silence, Chanyeol knows he’s in for a long, miserable night ahead of him.

///

Baekhyun doesn’t speak to him at all when they’re getting ready for bed. The moment he steps foot into the hotel room, he goes straight to get his clothes and then locks himself in the bathroom. He takes a long shower, leaving Chanyeol pacing the room thinking and replaying the things they do at the party to try to understand why Baekhyun is acting this way.

Did he go too far? Is Baekhyun mad about the touching? Is Baekhyun freaking out because of the comments that Yoora made about them? Is he having second thoughts?

And when Baekhyun gets out of the bathroom, he simply tells Chanyeol to freshen up and go to bed. Chanyeol only nods obediently before entering the bathroom to take a quick shower just like Baekhyun tells him to.

When he gets out, all dressed in his sweatpants and oversized shirt, he finds that Baekhyun’s already on the couch. He is typing something on his phone and then laugh when whoever he’s texting replies. 

“Good night, Baekhyun.” Chanyeol tests the waters.

Baekhyun’s laughter dies down, and he doesn’t say anything.

And this is when Chanyeol decides he’s had enough.

“Baek… did I do something wrong?” he asks, walking towards the couch where Baekhyun is lying in his thick blanket, “Because if I did, tell me so I can apologize. I’m driving myself crazy thinking about what I might have done to hurt you – and I really don’t want you to go to sleep while being angry at me.”

“Chanyeol,” Baekhyun sighs – Chanyeol feels a sudden rush of relief wash over him at the sound of Baekhyun’s voice saying his name, “I’m not in the mood, so can we just? Let it go?”

He then turns his attention to his phone, ignoring Chanyeol again.

Chanyeol can’t accept this. 

He then makes his way towards Baekhyun and pulls the blanket off him, earning a yelp from Baekhyun. Baekhyun tries to grab the blanket from Chanyeol, but Chanyeol is faster and puts it behind him, away from Baekhyun’s reach.

“We’re talking. Now.” 

Baekhyun glares at him, “You don’t think you’ve done enough talking today?”

His voice practically drips with venom, which would hurt Chanyeol if he knows the cause of it. Now, he’s just confused.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I saw you talking to that guy, y’know. One of Somin’s caterers? I saw you two talking, so I think you’ve done enough talking for one night – and I don’t want to listen to you,” Baekhyun hisses, “Good night.” He gets up from the couch and grabs the blanket, tries to pull it out of Chanyeol’s hands but Chanyeol refuses to let go.

“I don’t understand.” Chanyeol pulls the blanket to him, much to Baekhyun’s dismay, “You’re mad because I talk too much?”

“No! And I don’t want to talk about it! It’s stupid and I’m tired and I just want to sleep this day off, okay?” Baekhyun snaps and yanks his blanket away from Chanyeol. 

But Chanyeol is just as stubborn.

He pulls the blanket towards him and practically pulls Baekhyun to him too. Baekhyun almost loses his footing, but he gets himself together just before his face bumps into Chanyeol’s chest. Baekhyun wants to curse, but the look of Chanyeol’s face stops him. 

Chanyeol actually looks angry right now. Baekhyun finds himself ready to step backwards.

“If you want your blanket, start talking.” 

It’s unlike Chanyeol to be as stubborn as he is now. Baekhyun’s usually the stubborn one and Chanyeol usually would go along with whatever he wants. To have Chanyeol asserting his say in this matter annoys Baekhyun to hell and back, but he understands that the faster they talk it out, the easier it is going to be for both of them. 

Baekhyun wants to be stubborn and ignores Chanyeol, but he’s had a long day. Right now, he just really, really wants to sleep.

“Did you forget about my rules?” Baekhyun painstakingly says, refusing to look at Chanyeol.

Chanyeol’s expression falters.

“Your rules?”

“I have three rules, haven’t I?”

“I know. I remember.”

“What are they?”

“I’m paying for everything. I have to attend to whatever you want. No flirting at the wedding.” Chanyeol recites obediently. He remembers them very well because he intends to follow them. He’s not going to do anything to make Baekhyun upset.

“The third one. You broke the third – you know what? It’s stupid. I don’t want to talk about it.” he turns away, sits on the couch, and curls in on himself, “Forget it.”

_ Fuck, it’s cold.  _

Baekhyun wants his blanket so much – but if it means having to talk to how bothered he is when he sees Kyungsoo earlier, he’d rather freeze to death.

Chanyeol frowns. When did he break the third rule? He was friendly towards everyone during the party, and Baekhyun didn’t seem mad when they were talking to Minseok and Somin’s friends. Baekhyun’s not stupid. He knows when Chanyeol’s being friendly and flirty, considering that he’s been on the receiving ends for both of it.

Unless…

“Are you talking about Kyungsoo?”

“So that’s his name?” Baekhyun turns to look at Chanyeol.

“Yeah? Did you – “ Chanyeol’s eyebrows furrow, “Did you think I was flirting with him?”

“Chanyeol please, I’m not stupid. I know flirtation when I see one. You’re definitely flirting.”

“I was not!” Chanyeol gasps.

Baekhyun’s eyes narrow, “Deny it all you want. I don’t care. Whatever, Chanyeol. Just give me my bloody blanket and let me sleep. It’s a stupid rule anyway – flirt with whoever the fuck you want.”

Baekhyun gets up again to get the blanket but Chanyeol refuses to budge even when Baekhyun is using all his strength to snatch the blanket from him. 

“Baekhyun, are you…” Chanyeol tries to fight a smile forming on his face but to no avail, “Are you jealous?”

“Are you smiling right now?” Baekhyun’s face redden. He looks like a tiny ball of fury and Chanyeol feels his smile grow wider. 

Baekhyun is offended by that. “You’re fucking smiling.”

“And you’re jealous.”

“I am _ not _ jealous!” Baekhyun punches Chanyeol’s chest, hard, “Stop flattering yourself.”

“Then why’re you so mad that I was talking to Kyungsoo?”

“I’m not mad!”

“Well you’re certainly not calm.” Chanyeol replies patiently – so patient that he infuriates Baekhyun.

“You can talk with whoever you want, Chanyeol. I’m just mad I made those rules because clearly no one’s gonna follow them so, just – please, give me back my blanket, I’m cold!’ Baekhyun whines, stomping his feet. 

Taking sympathy in him, Chanyeol hands him back his blanket. Baekhyun immediately snatches it away and goes back to curling in the blanket. Chanyeol follows him and sits next to the couch.

“I’m not going away until you talk to me.”

“Then sit there till the next morning because I’m going to sleep.” Baekhyun mumbles under the blanket.

Chanyeol sighs fondly. 

“I wasn’t flirting. Although… you shouldn’t be mad because you told me to not flirt with anyone at the wedding. We’re at a birthday party, not the wedding – so I didn’t do anything wrong.”

Baekhyun doesn’t answer, so Chanyeol continues.

“But if you’re uncomfortable, I won’t do it again.” Chanyeol says, “Not that anything is going to happen anyway. Kyungsoo is a friend. Just that.” 

_ He’s not you. _

Chanyeol waits for Baekhyun’s answer, but when he doesn’t, Chanyeol takes it as his cue to leave. 

But before he gets to back, he hears Baekhyun say something. He turns back and asks, “What was that?”

Baekhyun pulls the blanket just enough to show his eyes. 

“Thank you.”

Chanyeol smiles. He then gets to his bed but before he reaches the bed, lightning strikes, strong and bright, and Chanyeol practically yelps before jumping under the blanket and holds it over his head.

_ Fuck, why does that have to be so bright? _

He’s shaking under the bed. It’s still raining heavily, and lightning strike a few times still.  _ Chanyeol hates it. _

He waits. He lies there under the blanket and prays for god knows how long for the rain to stop. He has no idea how he’s going to survive the entire night if it’s going to be like this.

“How does someone so tall can look so small when lightning strikes?”

Chanyeol flails, his hand immediately hit Baekhyun’s jaw in the process, causing the man to be pushed out of the bed. There’s a soft ‘thump’ from the impact of Baekhyun’s fall onto the carpeted floor but Chanyeol barely registers that as the storm rumbles and Chanyeol immediately goes back under the blanket.

“Ow,” Baekhyun whines from the floor. 

Chanyeol wants to say sorry, but he doesn’t have it in him to release the blanket just yet because lightning strikes again, accompanied with loud thunder.

He feels the bed dip, so he slowly pulls the blanket down to only reveal his face. He sees Baekhyun looking at him. It’s hard to see his expression because of the darkness. 

Much to his surprise, Baekhyun then lies next to him to keep him company.

“Do you… want to get under the blanket?” he starts, but then quickly adds, “Don’t want you to get cold.”

Baekhyun ponders upon that at first. After a moment, he sighs and says, “Okay, but I’m only doing this because you couldn’t stop whining and I can’t sleep if you don’t shut up.”

Both of them know how much Chanyeol hates thunders and lightnings. Back then, Chanyeol would bury himself under the covers until the rains stopped, but when he started dating Baekhyun, his fear subsided a little because Baekhyun always cuddled him and kept him warm during rainy days. It’s easy to forget about the storms outside when Baekhyun’s body was pressed against him, and his lips peppering kisses down his collarbones. 

It’s easy to forget about his fears when Baekhyun’s here.

He knows he’s taking a huge step and there’s every possibility that Baekhyun would run away, but Chanyeol moves forward anyway, taking Baekhyun’s hand in his. His fingers are cold against Chanyeol’s warm ones, but it’s still so comforting.

Even after all this time, Baekhyun still feels…  _ right. _

Baekhyun doesn’t say anything. 

He lets Chanyeol hold his hand. 

He’d let Chanyeol hold  _ him _ if it would make Chanyeol feel better but Chanyeol seems content with this so Baekhyun doesn’t push it.

Chanyeol wants to put his arms around Baekhyun’s smaller body and hold him tight, but he doesn’t want Baekhyun to run away, so he settles with just holding his hand.

“You should go to sleep.” Baekhyun whispers.

“I should, but I can’t.” Chanyeol says, playing with Baekhyun’s fingers. His fingers are beautiful. Chanyeol has always loved his fingers.

“I can’t sleep too.” Baekhyun replies, “Was about too, but then you kept stealing my blanket, and then kept whining on your bed. Now I can’t sleep at all.”

Chanyeol chuckles. It’s dark, but he can imagine that Baekhyun’s pouting.

“I’m sorry.”

Baekhyun sighs, but the way his hands tightens around Chanyeol’s assures him that he doesn’t take it to heart.

They lie in comfortable silence for a while, listening to the rain. Chanyeol squeezes Baekhyun’s hand whenever lightning strikes again, and when he does that, he can feel Baekhyun moving closer to him, as if to try to comfort him. 

And it works. He is comforted.

He has no idea how long they lie there, but gradually, the rain starts to stop.

Chanyeol calms down. 

It’s more comfortable now. It’s quieter. It’s calmer. And he has Baekhyun by his side.

“Baek, are you sleeping?”

“No. I told you I can’t sleep now.”

“I see,” Chanyeol asks, more relaxed now because the rain has stopped, “May I – may I ask you a question?”

“Shoot.”

“W – were you really jealous of Kyungsoo?”

Chanyeol knows that this might not be the right time to ask the question, but the question haunts him. His heart soars when he thinks about how Baekhyun is jealous but at the same time, he knows that Baekhyun is bothered by that and doesn’t want to be jealous. He feels like there are so many questions between them. Unanswered questions. Questions that he needs to resolve because he doesn’t want his mind to go into overdrive thinking about the what ifs.

He hates what ifs.

Baekhyun takes a moment to answer, but then he says, “I don’t know.”

“Because you shouldn’t, you know? I mean…” 

“I know I shouldn’t, Chanyeol,” Baekhyun cuts Chanyeol’s words, “Don’t remind me. You can date whoever you want and I shouldn’t care. I know that.” Baekhyun sighs, “Just… it’s kind of weird seeing you with another man. You have to give me some time to get used to it. I’m happy for you, really, but I just need some time to not feel weird, okay?”

“Why do you feel weird though? Do you…” Chanyeol trails off.

_ … still have feelings for me? _

“I don’t know. It’s been a weird night. We pretended to be a couple and it was really… believable. It almost felt like you’re…” Baekhyun chuckles, “like you’re my boyfriend again. I guess that’s why it’s weird seeing you with Kyungsoo. Maybe it’s the effect from all the pretending. I’m not used to doing this, y’know?”

Baekhyun sighs, “But if you like Kyungsoo, go for it. I got your back if you need… tips or tricks. We both know you need one.”

Chanyeol knows Baekhyun means the last bit as a joke, but his heart sinks anyway. He wants to tell Baekhyun that he has nothing to worry about because Kyungsoo is a friend. As for the moment, he has no intention of making it move past that. But Baekhyun seems adamant on him moving on, completely shattering Chanyeol’s hope that maybe someday… maybe…

Chanyeol gathers himself together before he lets his mind wander further. 

But… is Baekhyun right? Was he flirting? Maybe he’s flirting without realising it? Should he try to see how things would progress with Kyungsoo?

“You deserve to be happy, Chanyeol. I just want you to be happy.”

“I’m happy when I’m with you.” Chanyeol says simply. 

Baekhyun doesn’t answer.

“May I ask you something?” Baekhyun asks after a while.

“Sure.”

“When we broke up, did you… did you think that you’re pulling me down? That you’re holding me back?”

Chanyeol frowns, “Baekhyun, why are we having this conversation again?”

“Just humour me. I swear I won’t be a baby about it and I won’t get upset.”

Baekhyun knows that he’s stepping in a dangerous territory. That Chanyeol might get upset like he was back at the restaurant. But this is a question that has been haunting  _ him _ the whole day and night. 

_ He needs to know. _

Chanyeol is reluctant to answer, but he can tell that Baekhyun’s going to prod him with the question until he gives an answer.

“Well, yeah. Baek, you’re going places. Your sole focus then was supposed to be only your career. I didn’t want you to lose out on opportunities because you want to be with me. You’re not slick, Baekhyun,” Chanyeol says, “I’ve seen the letters, and Sehun told me about how you’re thinking of rejecting some offers because you felt like you’d be away for too long. You put me first, and I’m happy that you did. But at that time, I did what I had to do. I was the deadweight, so I left. I love you the most, so I put you first, even if putting you first wasn’t what you wanted from me back then.”

Baekhyun remains silent. 

Chanyeol wonders if he’s upset.

But before Chanyeol gets to open his mouth to ask, Baekhyun finally says, “I understand,” he sighs, “And I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what?”

“Sorry for my actions back then. Sorry for lashing out on you, for making you think that you’re holding me back.” Baekhyun lets out the thing that’s been haunting him since last night, “I’ve been thinking and reflecting, and it did… it  _ did _ feel like it at first, but when you’re gone, I realised that you’re my anchor. You didn’t pull me down. You kept me grounded. Without you, I felt like a lost kite in the sky. I felt so alone.” 

Baekhyun takes a deep breath, “I was so scared. I love my job, but it was scary. I had you, but then I lost you. It was the scariest moment of my life. I was alone, Chanyeol. You left me alone.”

Baekhyun sounds so upset that Chanyeol wants nothing more than to pull him into a hug to comfort him.

But he reminds himself that this is Baekhyun. His ex. The love of his life. His ex.  _ His ex _ – so he can’t do that. He needs to keep his distance.

“I did it for you.” Chanyeol replies lamely.

“I’m glad you did. If it’s not for you, I wouldn’t even think of doing half the things I did. But I never want to feel alone like that anymore. Never again.”

“You won’t.” Chanyeol tightens his grip, moving closer to Baekhyun “I’m here now.”

Baekhyun doesn’t answer. But Chanyeol then feels his hand on his face, caressing his cheek. Baekhyun is so close now. Chanyeol can feel his breath on his face, feel his body heat radiating from him and heating Chanyeol’s body too. Chanyeol wants him to be this close. He doesn’t remember the last time Baekhyun is this close. 

He doesn’t want Baekhyun to go far from him ever again.

_ “Yeah, you’re here.” _

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiiii! welcome to chapter three! if you're reading this, thank you so much for reading the whole chapter - i know it's a long one, but i hope you found it enjoyable! do let me know your thoughts and suggestions! talk to me here or on twitter (@ninisbabygirl)! i'd love to talk and befriend all of you! you guys have been so kind to this story so far and i appreciate it so much!
> 
> i love you guys! see you in the next chapter!


	4. the wedding

Warm.

That’s what Baekhyun feels when he wakes up.

Comfortable. Almost _too_ comfortable. When did the couch get so comfy and why did he wake up without feeling his back is going to break?

He contemplates this for a while, too groggy to have any coherent thought, but after a while, he realises that he’s definitely _not_ on the couch, and the warmth that he feels isn’t only from the blanket, but from a whole different person altogether.

And that person has his arm circling his waist, trapping him in his embrace without any way of escaping.

_“Fuck.”_

He must have slept in Chanyeol’s bed last night. He must have forgotten to wake up and go back to the couch. _Fuck._

Baekhyun’s instinct is telling him to get up and quickly run to the couch before Chanyeol wakes up. However, Chanyeol’s arm around him is strong and secure – the man is latching to him like he’s a pillow – and Baekhyun knows for a fact that there’s no way he can move Chanyeol’s arm without waking him up. It doesn’t help that Chanyeol is a light sleeper too, which means he _will_ wake up at any sudden movement. And this… this is a compromising situation for Chanyeol to wake up to and an awkward situation for Baekhyun to face so early in the morning.

Baekhyun is so _fucked._

Baekhyun doesn’t move. It’s not that he _can_ move anyway. He stays and hopes that Chanyeol would loosen his grip so that he could escape but until then, there’s no way he can get up without waking Chanyeol up too.

After a while, Baekhyun’s confidence that he can wait for Chanyeol to wake up disappears because after lying on his side like this for a while, he gets extremely uncomfortable and needs to get into a better position. Hence, slowly, he tries to move so that he can lie on his back. He moves as slowly as possible so that Chanyeol stays asleep. So slowly that Chanyeol’s arm around him doesn’t even move.

So close… _so close._

Baekhyun _almost_ succeeds, _almost_ , because the moment he gets to lie on his back, he gets so happy that he moves Chanyeol’s arm a bit too much, causing Chanyeol to stir in his sleep.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Baekhyun mutters, panicking, “Don’t wake up. Don’t wake up. _Don’t wake up._ ”

Baekhyun watches Chanyeol’s face scrunch, and he waits with bated breath, hoping that Chanyeol stays asleep.

_Please, please don’t wake up._

Fortunately, Chanyeol stays asleep.

Baekhyun is about to heave a relieved sigh, but then Chanyeol’s arm suddenly pulls him closer, so close that Chanyeol has his head on Baekhyun’s shoulder and Baekhyun can feel his breath tickling his neck. Baekhyun is now practically pressed against him with absolutely no way of escaping.

He surrenders.

Chanyeol sleeps, and then in his sleep, he nuzzles his face on Baekhyun’s shoulder, gently purring in his sleep. Baekhyun, despite his annoyance that he’s even further away from being able to get up, feels his heart melt at the action. Chanyeol’s always been clingy when he sleeps. He latches himself to anything on the bed, whether it’s a whole person or a pillow – he likes having something to hug while he sleeps.

Chanyeol looks so calm, so peaceful that Baekhyun wonders what he’s dreaming of. He remembers how he used to do this a lot when they’re dating. Baekhyun woke up earlier during the weekdays back then, and during the times when he wasn’t rushing to go to work, he’d spend a minute or two just watching his boyfriend sleep. He’d admire Chanyeol’s gorgeous face, so serene when he’s sleeping, and Baekhyun hoped he dreamt of him.

Chanyeol’s so beautiful. So, so beautiful and Baekhyun felt like the luckiest man on Earth.

Thinking of the fond memory, Baekhyun’s lips curl into a smile. He then uses his free hand to caress Chanyeol’s cheeks, admiring the man’s beauty and memorizing his features while he gets to see him this close. While this last. Because after this, he won’t get this chance again.

“Anyone who gets to spend the rest of his life with you is so lucky,” Baekhyun whispers. His heart hurts at the thought of Chanyeol being with someone else but he reminds himself that he’s not supposed to feel that way – Chanyeol deserves someone who loves him. 

Baekhyun sighs, “So, _so_ lucky.”

And Baekhyun stays. He watches and admires and drinks the sight before him until he falls asleep again.

This time it’s still warm, but it’s perfect.

///

When Baekhyun wakes up for the second time, he notices that Chanyeol is no longer next to him and he’s safely tucked in the blanket. He sits and blinks, looking around the room and wondering where Chanyeol went. His question is immediately answered as Chanyeol gets out of the bathroom with just a towel wrapped around his waist and another small tower hanging on his shoulder.

Baekhyun feels his throat go dry at the sight. His brain short-circuits, and he can think about nothing but how smooth Chanyeol’s skin is and how he’s bulked up so much over the past years. Baekhyun wants nothing more than to reach out for him, pull him to bed, and take off the towel hanging around his hips because they won’t be needing that.

“Baekhyun?”

Baekhyun blinks and realises that Chanyeol’s looking at him. His face reddens when Chanyeol smirks as if he knows _exactly_ what Baekhyun’s thinking about. As if he knows that the sight of him like this almost gives Baekhyun a brain aneurysm and that if they’re still dating, there’s no way Baekhyun would ever be able to resist him.

_Well, that’s embarrassing._

Baekhyun clears his throat. _Be cool, Baekhyun, be cool._

“G’morning,” Baekhyun says, rubbing his eyes so that he’d have a reason to not look at Chanyeol.

“Morning,” Chanyeol replies, a tone of hilarity evident in his voice, “Slept well?”

Baekhyun nods. He then yawns and stretches, still keeping his eyes away from Chanyeol whom he knows is still looking at him. Once he’s sure he’s no longer groggy, he pushes the blanket and gets up from the bed.

Only then he gathers the strength to look at Chanyeol.

A part of him wishes that Chanyeol would take the time when he’s yawning and stretching to go get a shirt to wear because while Baekhyun loves seeing him like this, he really can’t afford to be turned on right now. But Chanyeol’s still there, as glorious as ever, and Baekhyun bites the bottom of his lip to stop a whimper from coming out.

“So, you slept on my bed last night.”

Baekhyun groans. This isn’t a conversation that he wants to have when he’s just woken up and facing a half-naked Chanyeol.

Still, he tries to keep it casual and says, “Yeah. Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay.” Chanyeol continues, “You can just sleep on the bed next time, y’know? I’m sure it’s more comfortable than the couch.”

_It is. It really is._

“It’s okay,” Baekhyun stubbornly says, “I don’t want to disturb…”

“Baekhyun, it’s _okay_. I don’t mind. I much prefer it this way anyway,” Chanyeol quickly interrupts, “I feel bad that you’re sleeping on the couch, okay? Don’t think I don’t notice how you look _so_ uncomfortable when you wake up. It’s just… not fair.”

“Besides,” he adds, but Baekhyun doesn’t miss the small smile that appears on his lips before he quickly tries to keep a straight face, “We’re both mature adults. We can sleep on the same bed without any funny business.” Chanyeol’s eyebrow raised, “Can we?”

Baekhyun snorts. Why does that sound like a challenge?

Baekhyun later on realises that Chanyeol is trying, and _failing_ at maintaining a serious expression. At the sight of Baekhyun’s conflicted face, his lips curl into a smile, and Baekhyun knows he’s seconds away from laughing at Baekhyun’s internal turmoil.

This _asshole. He knows._

“You’re such a jerk!” Baekhyun reaches forward and hits his chest. He tries to ignore how hard Chanyeol’s chest is and focuses on how satisfied he feels when Chanyeol winces in pain, “Go wear a shirt, you pervert!”

“Me? A pervert? I’m not the one drooling over the sight of _me_!”

“You’re so full of yourself!” Baekhyun exclaims, embarrassed beyond belief, “This isn’t a way to make me want to sleep with you!”

“Oh?”

“You know what I mean!” Baekhyun feels like he’s going to explode, “I’ll go back to the couch.”

“No, don’t – ”

“Shut the fuck up!” Baekhyun pushes past Chanyeol and goes straight to bathroom. He can feel Chanyeol’s eyes staring at him from behind and his heart beats so fast that he can barely breathe. Only when he gets into the bathroom and closes the door behind him that he breathes properly.

“Baekhyun, you can sleep on the bed tonight, okay? I was just joking.”

Baekhyun considers. It would really annoy him to give in because it feels like admitting defeat, but he doesn’t think that there’s any way he’d be back to sleeping on the couch after he’s so comfortable on the bed. Besides, they’re going back tomorrow night – he deserves a good night’s sleep here at least once.

“Fine.”

_He’ll hog the blankets or something to get back at Chanyeol for embarrassing him like that. Let him be cold all night. Serves him right._

Baekhyun groans, willing himself to forget about what just happened. He can only hope that Chanyeol keeps this between them and not tell Jongin and Sehun.

As Baekhyun gets ready to take a bath, on the other side of the door, Chanyeol is still standing at the same spot. This time, the playful smirk on his lips has faded, and there’s nothing but sadness in his eyes.

///

Chanyeol makes the bed and then sits on the couch while waiting for Baekhyun to get ready. It’s going to take a while, so he gets his phone and replies to a few emails to kill the time. He received some emails from Jongdae telling him about his trip to Bulgaria, an email from Junmyeon who sent some contacts of a company that he’s trying to deal with, and some other work emails that Chanyeol doesn’t bother to check because he’s still on vacation.

He also receives a text from Jongin who asks him about the time of his flight, and a text from Sehun who asks him about how things are going with Baekhyun.

He doesn’t know how to answer the latter.

Technically, things are great. There’s no tension, awkward silence or discomfort of any sort. If anything, things are perfect.

However, he cannot say the same thing about his heart. About his feelings.

Over the years, Chanyeol has gotten so good at keeping his feelings muted. He’s accepted that they’re over and he’s just Baekhyun’s friend now, which is why he never said anything when Baekhyun moves on with his life. He has no rights to stop Baekhyun from doing so just because he still has feelings for him – and he has learnt to live with it.

Chanyeol has learnt to control his feelings.

So, if there’s anything that Chanyeol has trained himself to believe, it’s that when things are over, they’re over – and there’s nothing he can do but move forward.

If there’s _anything_ that he’s told himself _over and over_ again, it was that he’s never going to wake up with Baekhyun in his arms ever again.

But today, _he did_. He woke up, and Baekhyun’s there.

He was so surprised, so taken aback that Baekhyun’s right next to him. Baekhyun’s sleeping soundly too, a small smile on his face, indicating that he’s dreaming of something nice, completely unaware that he’s sleeping in Chanyeol’s arm.

Chanyeol tried to move away but Baekhyun stirred in his sleep, face scrunched as he immediately latched on Chanyeol’s arm, keeping him in place. His face then softened when Chanyeol stopped moving, and he looked so peaceful that Chanyeol felt his insides melt at the sight.

Baekhyun is so beautiful.

Chanyeol didn’t remember the last time he got to admire Baekhyun like this. He had always loved him when he’s this calm, this comfortable. Back then, Baekhyun in relaxed state was a rare sight, so during the weekends when he slept in, Chanyeol, who always woke up earlier than him, would cherish every second he got to admire his beautiful boyfriend. He’d watch him sleep for a while, and then he’d pepper Baekhyun’s face with kisses.

Kisses on his nose, his forehead, his cheeks, his lips, his neck – until Baekhyun woke up because he’s feeling ticklish. He’d push Chanyeol’s face because he’s insecure about how he looked in the morning, thinking that he’s a mess, but Chanyeol would pull his hand away and kiss him even more, until they’re giggling into the kisses.

And that’s how Chanyeol loved to start his morning on the weekends – kissing Baekhyun.

His heart felt heavy – he found himself missing Baekhyun again, missing what they used to have, missing the future they could have had.

He knew that they’re not in the same situation now, so it might be creepy of him to just watch Baekhyun sleep like this. So, although he didn’t want to, he slowly pulled his hand away from Baekhyun’s grip. When Baekhyun stirred and whined, he used his free hand, one that’s not in Baekhyun’s grip, to caress his hair, and then he leaned in and kissed Baekhyun’s forehead.

“Shh, it’s okay. I’m here. I’m here.” He whispered.

Slowly, Baekhyun stopped moving, much to Chanyeol’s relief. Even after that, Chanyeol found himself holding Baekhyun, his lips still on his skin, his hand still in his hair. Chanyeol knew he should get away, but he couldn’t help it. He closed his eyes, memorizing how this felt, how Baekhyun fit perfectly in his arms, how soft he was, how right this felt.

He let himself fall deeper in love.

So, no, Chanyeol doesn’t know how to answer Sehun’s question. Things with Baekhyun are good, but Chanyeol is far from fine.

“You ready?”

He looks up and finds that Baekhyun is already all dressed up. He looks like he’s been standing there for a while as he looks at Chanyeol with concern.

“Are you okay?” Baekhyun asks.

_No, I’m not okay._

But Chanyeol plasters a smile on his face anyway, ignoring the way his heart is still aching. He then gets up from the couch, fixes his shirt, and then says, “Yeah, let’s go.”

///

Baekhyun comes back from the buffet table with two plates full of food. He looks so giddy when he sits down, so happy that he doesn’t even notice Chanyeol’s perplexed face.

“Baekhyun,” Chanyeol calls. Baekhyun looks up, “You gonna eat all that?”

“Yeah. Why?” He looks at his plates like they’re not almost spilling from food. Chanyeol lets him think for a while, but when he’s met with nothing but Baekhyun’s confused stare, Chanyeol sighs and decides to let this matter go.

“Nothing. Just asking.” Chanyeol says as he finishes the fruits in his bowl and goes back to reading the newspaper. He’s just finished reading a particularly interesting news when Baekhyun calls his name. He looks up and finds Baekhyun eyeing his bowl of fruit and his toast that he only spread with butter.

“Is that all that you’re gonna eat?” He asks, still wearing the confused expression from before.

“Yeah, why?”

Baekhyun bites his bottom lips, “Nothing. Just… you used to eat a lot, and you loved breakfast, so it’s just… weird to see you eat so little. Are you okay? You’re not sick, are you?”

Chanyeol smiles at that.

“No, I’m okay,” Chanyeol says, “I’m on a diet, so I’m watching what I eat. I still love breakfast though, don’t worry.”

“Breakfast is the most important meal of the day,” Baekhyun says, taking his fork and starts poking his steamed potato, “So it’s okay if you eat a lot, considering that you’ll need it for fuel. And we have a long day ahead, with Somin’s wedding and all.”

“I know, but we’re gonna eat a lot during the wedding, so I’d rather save room for later.” Chanyeol answers lightly. At that, Baekhyun nods and doesn’t push the subject further.

Baekhyun then continues eating while checking his emails, and they sit in comfortable silence, eating and enjoying each other’s company. By the time Chanyeol finishes reading the newspaper, he finds Baekhyun already digging into the dessert.

“I didn’t know they put cake for breakfast.”

“I didn’t too, but it looks nice, so I took it.” Baekhyun answers. He then cuts a bit of it and hands the spoon at Chanyeol, “Want a taste?”

When Chanyeol hesitates, Baekhyun exclaims, “C’mon. One bite won’t do any harm!”

Chanyeol laughs at that, so fond of the man in front of him. So, he leans forward and Baekhyun feeds the cake to him. Chanyeol’s eyes grow wide at how the sweetness from the chocolate and the sourness from the strawberry mix so well in his mouth.

“Good, huh?”

“Yeah!”

“Well, this is mine. If you want more, get it yourself at the buffet table,” Baekhyun smirks, pulling the cake closer to him, “I’m not sharing.”

Chanyeol pouts, “You’re mean.”

Baekhyun sticks his tongue out to mock him, but then he laughs too before digging into the cake. He eats as Chanyeol watches – he’s already full – and by the time he finishes, Baekhyun has the biggest smile on his face.

Chanyeol chuckles, “You’re such a messy eater.”

Baekhyun’s smile falters.

Chanyeol shakes his head, amused seeing the chocolate at the corner of Baekhyun’s lips. When Baekhyun doesn’t wipe it off, Chanyeol takes the unused napkin and leans forward to wipe it for him. Baekhyun’s eyes widen at his action, but he doesn’t say anything, nor did he push Chanyeol away. He lets Chanyeol do what he wants to do.

Chanyeol could laugh at how cliché this whole situation is, but the look in Baekhyun’s eyes, _the way he looks at him_ , the way he _sees_ him, causes him to falter and he finds himself looking at Baekhyun too. Baekhyun’s face in unreadable. His eyes hold emotions that Chanyeol doesn’t understand. While everything in him tells him to look away, Chanyeol can’t.

“What are you two doing?”

Chanyeol and Baekhyun break apart like each other’s skin was fire. Chanyeol looks up and finds his sister and his mother looking at them with knowing smiles on their faces.

“W-what are you doing here?” he asks.

“I came to this hotel with you, Chanyeol. How can you forget?” Mrs. Park raised a brow, folding her arms across her chest, “You’re so busy with your boyfriend that you forgot about your mother now?”

“No – that’s not what I meant!” Chanyeol feels his face grow hot, “I thought you’re staying at Yoora’s hotel!”

“I did, but now I’m back. I need to get my clothes, we’re going to Somin’s wedding today. Remember?”

Chanyeol knows that his mom is just playing with him, but the tone that she’s taking with him makes him feel like a fool.

“No. Sorry – there’s just a lot in my mind.” Chanyeol says, petulant.

“I think there’s only _one_ person in your - ow!” Yoora winces when Mrs Park pinches her and tells her to cut it. Muttering complaints under her breath, she glares at Chanyeol, as if he’s at fault. Baekhyun can tell that she wants to continue with what she wanted to say, but Mrs. Park stares her down and Mrs. Park can be intimidating when she wants to.

So, Yoora surrenders and lets the matter go.

“Well, we have free time until the evening, so you guys are free to do whatever you want,” she says, sighing, “Mom and I have to go there early because we need to take care of some stuff but you two can come at the same time as other guests.”

“I hate that we’re always the ones stuck with helping out,” Mrs Park complains, “I haven’t gotten the time to take a walk by the lake at all.”

“I can take you there tomorrow,” Baekhyun offers sincerely, “The scenery’s beautiful. I’m sure you’ll love it.”

Mrs Park gives him a warm smile, “Thank you, Baekhyun. See? Why weren’t _you_ the one offering, Chanyeol?”

Chanyeol gasps, “I was about to but he beat me to it!”

“ _Lies_ ,” Mrs Park says lightly, amused seeing Chanyeol’s offended face, “Well then, we won’t bother you two anymore. C’mon Yoora, let’s get something to eat. I’m starving.”

Yoora says goodbye to both of them before following her mother to the buffet table, leaving Chanyeol and Baekhyun alone with each other. After their moment earlier, the tension between them is suddenly so thick that Chanyeol thinks he can cut it with a knife. Baekhyun’s not meeting his eyes, and he knows that Baekhyun is probably feeling as awkward as he is now.

That being said, Chanyeol knows he’s not supposed to let this continue because they have to be at the wedding in a few hours. They have to pretend that they’re boyfriends and just because of that alone, they can’t be awkward around each other.

He has to be the bigger man and rise to the situation, _again._

“Wanna go for a walk?” Chanyeol asks. Baekhyun looks at him, a little taken aback by the sudden invitation.

However, much to Chanyeol’s relief, Baekhyun says, “Sure.”

///

Baekhyun and Chanyeol end up taking a walk around the lake. They stand close to one another, shoulders brushing occasionally but neither of them flinches or moves away because this is comfortable. Being around each other like this, despite everything that had happened between them, is comfortable. Baekhyun feels like he can bask in this moment forever, standing beside the man he loves, beside the man who got away, beside the man he’ll continue to love despite of it.

Baekhyun loves this. He loves being with Chanyeol – just the two of them.

After a while, Baekhyun complains that he’s tired. Therefore, they take a seat on the bench beside the lake to rest for a bit. While resting, Chanyeol buys some duck food from the vendor and sits by the lake to feed the ducks. Baekhyun simply watches.

Chanyeol loves animals. He owns a few dogs but they’re all in his hometown, taken care by Mrs. Park. Chanyeol often goes back to visit them but he never takes them to his own place in the city because between his busy schedule and his strict landlord, Chanyeol doesn’t have the privilege to take care of them just yet. He said that they’re better off with Mrs. Park anyway, as they have more space to run around and play, but Baekhyun knows that he wishes to have a dog around.

Even when they’re dating, Chanyeol used to complain about how lonely he was in the apartment both him and Baekhyun used to live in, and back then Baekhyun promised that once both of them were a little stable, they would adopt pets of their own. A few dogs, and maybe a couple of cats. Chanyeol’s face lit up with joy and Baekhyun was so in love.

As he watches Chanyeol smile and laugh at the ducks like they’re his long-time friends, Baekhyun falls in love all over again.

Chanyeol hears the sound of Baekhyun’s laughter. At that, he turns around and finds Baekhyun looking at him.

The tips of his ears turn red as he clears his throat and asks, “What’re you looking at, Baek?”

Baekhyun smiles, “You.”

He says that without missing a beat, without any doubt because that’s the truth. All he sees is Chanyeol. Even when there are people around them, talking and taking pictures and just enjoying life – all Baekhyun sees is Chanyeol.

“Oh,” Chanyeol says, his face reddens even more, “Do I have something on my face?”

“No.”

Chanyeol can’t even meet Baekhyun’s eyes. He chuckles before turning his attention back to the ducks and says nothing more. Baekhyun sighs, tilting his head up to the sky and closing his eyes, breathing in and enjoying the cool, clean air.

After a few minutes, he feels a presence next to him. Baekhyun open his eyes, and he finds that Chanyeol has taken the spot next to him. Chanyeol is fiddling with the bag of duck food in his hand while looking around the calm lake, his eyes filled with sadness, “I can’t believe we have to leave this place soon. I’m gonna miss this.”

_I’m gonna miss being with you._

“Yeah,” Baekhyun agrees, “Somin came through when she booked a room for us here.”

“She really did.”

“Are you excited?” Baekhyun asks, “To see her get married, I mean. Must be nice, watching someone you grew up with, your childhood friend, marry the love of her life.”

A smile appears on Chanyeol’s face, “Yeah, it is. I have to admit though – I’m a little jealous.”

“Jealous? Why?”

“I mean, isn’t that the dream? To find someone you love so much that you’ll spend the rest of your life with them? Not a lot of people get that in their lifetime – but Somin gets that. I’m happy for her, really, but sometimes… I guess I wish I have what she has too.”

The thought of Chanyeol finding someone else it bittersweet. On one hand, Baekhyun doesn’t know if he’ll ever be able to handle it if it happens. He knows that it’s been a few years since they broke up but a part of him is still so attached to Chanyeol, so in love with him that he feels himself going crazy at the thought of how much he loves this man.

But when they broke up, he knows that he’s not the one who can make Chanyeol happy. And _Chanyeol deserves to be happy_. He deserves someone who treats him well, spoils him, listens to him, stays with him whenever he needs him to be.

Baekhyun knows that he’s not that person for Chanyeol. Chanyeol made that clear when he said he wanted to break up – and Baekhyun has learnt to accept that.

“Of course you’ll get that, Chanyeol. Have you looked at yourself? Anyone would be lucky to have you.”

Chanyeol chuckles, “You’re saying that because you’re my friend.”

_No, I’m saying that because I love you._

“Yeah,” Baekhyun sighs, “Maybe. But just because I’m your friend, doesn’t mean what I said is less true.”

When Baekhyun looks at Chanyeol, he finds that Chanyeol’s smiling, but his smile is sad. He has this unfathomable expression on his face, one that Baekhyun can’t decipher.

“Yeah, well,” Chanyeol looks at the grass, his feet fidgeting, “Thanks, I guess? I hope I’ll find that person someday. I miss loving someone.”

Baekhyun feels his heart clench, “Yeah, me too.”

There’s a beat of silence, and then Baekhyun asks, “Remember how we used to say that we’d grow old together? No matter what, we’d stay with each other until the very end?”

“Yeah, I do.”

_I want that. I want that back._

“We dreamt about so many things back then.”

Chanyeol nods in agreement, “I was so sure of everything back then,” he says lightly, “I was even sure of how I was gonna propose to you.”

Baekhyun’s heart skips a beat.

_Chanyeol thought of that?_

Baekhyun plasters a smile of his face, no matter how badly he feels his heart hurt, how he feels like someone is ripping him from the inside.

“You thought of proposing to me?”

“I thought about marrying you – so of course I had a whole proposal planned.” Chanyeol says, completely oblivious of the impact that his words have on Baekhyun.

Baekhyun wants to curl in to himself.

“Yeah? May I know how?”

Chanyeol blushes, “You don’t want to know. It’s kinda embarrassing.”

“I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t wanna know,” Baekhyun pleads, “Tell me! _Please_ …”

Baekhyun scoots closer to him and gives him the puppy eyes – a fool proof trick that would get Baekhyun anything he wants from Chanyeol. Chanyeol laughs when Baekhyun looks at him like that, “Okay _fine_.”

“It’s not grand or anything,” he starts, “I know you don’t care much about grand gestures, and I figured that grand proposals aren’t your thing either.”

“And you’re absolutely right,” Baekhyun chimes in, feeling warm all over.

“I’d want to impress you first. It’s a private thing, a special occasion for the two of us, so instead of going to a restaurant, I’d cook for you.” Chanyeol sighs, looking so content, “It’d be a quiet dinner, just us relaxing after a tiring week. I’d bring out my guitar and sing for you. Maybe we could sing together – we rarely did that, and I doubt we’d sound good but… it’s always fun with you.”

“Sounds like a _very_ elaborate proposal.”

“Shush,” Chanyeol playfully pinches Baekhyun. They laugh, and then Chanyeol continues, “I’d ask you when you least expected it. I’d ask you when we’re cuddled on the couch watching your favourite movie. I know you think that the whole being down on one knee and proposing is cliché, so I won’t do that but…” Chanyeol pauses, “I’d ask when we’re comfortable. Maybe when the movie ends. I’d ask when you’re happy. And I hope when you’re happy, you’d want to share that happiness with me for the rest of our lives.”

At that, Baekhyun grins, “Well, I always get emotional after watching a movie so that better be a good movie.”

“Baekhyun, please,” Chanyeol laughs, “I wanted to propose to you, of course I’d pick a movie with a good ending. Don’t want another episode of you crying over Miracle in Cell No. 7.”

“Hey! That’s a sad movie! You’re just heartless!”

“I mean, it’s sad – but not _that_ sad.” Alright, he’s lying. It’s certainly one of the most devastating movies he’s ever seen. Chanyeol doesn’t cry over movies. They’re just movies after all, but Baekhyun isn’t like that. He is invested and feels a lot of things, so it’s no wonder that he was reduced to a sobbing mess after Miracle in Cell No. 7. Chanyeol remembers how he had to spend the next hour or so comforting and consoling him.

And it’s difficult for Chanyeol to continue to feel sad about a movie when he saw Baekhyun looking absolutely beautiful when he cried. How did he do that? How did he look so beautiful while crying?

After a while, Baekhyun starts, “Y’know, I thought about how I’d propose to you too.” Baekhyun looks at Chanyeol, “I didn’t have a proper plan like you did but I _did_ try to come up with something.”

It’s Chanyeol’s turn to feel his heart clench.

“Oh? How?”

“Don’t get too excited. The keyword here is _try_. I mean, I _thought_ of a thousand ways. Thought about the most cliché ones like putting the ring in a cake, or spelling the question on the sky, or taking you to a concert and proposing to you there – but none of that screams us, y’know?”

“I mean, I wouldn’t say no to a concert…” Chanyeol teases, but stops when Baekhyun playfully hits his arm, “Okay, kidding. Continue.”

“That’s it.” Baekhyun says, and he doesn’t miss the way Chanyeol’s face falls, “I didn’t know why I should bother with elaborate plans when I knew that I’d end up asking you at the most random times anyway. It’s just – sometimes, you make me nervous. And when I’m nervous, my mouth has a mind of its own.”

Chanyeol’s brow raised, “ _I_ make you nervous? _Me_?”

“Yes,” Baekhyun states, “Did you know that when we started dating, I felt like my heart was constantly on the verge of bursting? You’re so endearing, so perfect in every single way. You made me feel loved and cared for, and you did so much for me even when I didn’t ask you to.”

“It’s the little things,” Baekhyun continues, “Like how you remembered my favourite songs and movies, how you cooked for me when you noticed that I was skipping my meals, how you’d watch my movies although they’re not your type of movies, how you’d make sure that our apartment was spotless when I didn’t have the time to clean it, how you’d keep me warm at night no matter what, how you’d stay with me and hold me when I had nightmares, when I was having the worst times. How you just… _knew_.”

Baekhyun pauses, thinking of his words, “You’re such a good partner, Chanyeol. Every day, you made me feel like I was the luckiest man in the world. Whatever I did in my past life, I must have done something right, something _really_ great, because how else did someone like you fall for me? I loved you with everything I had in me. You have no idea how many times I wanted to blurt out “Will you marry me?”. Too many times. Uncountable. I wanted to marry you so much. There were so many instances when I almost proposed, but I held myself back because it wasn’t the right time. I guess I waited too long, huh?”

Chanyeol was speechless. He didn’t say anything and Baekhyun’s not sure if he wants Chanyeol to say anything.

This is a secret that he has kept to himself for so long. Telling Chanyeol that feels like baring a part of his soul to Chanyeol – the part of his soul that loves him wholeheartedly, without even a smidgen of doubt.

“You know,” Chanyeol croaks, but upon realizing how rough his voice sounds, he clears his throat and continues, “If you _did_ blurt out the question, I wouldn’t hesitate to say yes.”

He takes Baekhyun’s hand in his, linking their fingers together.

Baekhyun smiles, “And I’d say yes if you asked me – as long as the movie didn’t have a bad ending. If it did, then you’d have to nurse me back to full happiness before I give my answer. But I’d say yes.”

_A million times yes._

///

Chanyeol and Baekhyun are already on their way to the wedding when Chanyeol receives a call from a panicked Yoora telling him to come to the hotel where Somin’s wedding will be held. It’s unlike Yoora to panic like that, so, although they’re already ahead of schedule, Chanyeol urges the driver to drive faster. The driver, despite his reluctance to drive beyond the speed limit, presses the pedal after seeing how desperate Chanyeol is.

Upon seeing how worried Chanyeol is, Baekhyun reaches for his hand and hold it, intertwining their fingers together. That seems to calm Chanyeol down a bit, and Baekhyun let him hold his hand although Chanyeol’s grip hurt and he can barely feel his hand throughout the whole journey.

When they arrive, they’re met with Yoora’s pale face. Mrs. Park is nowhere to be seen.

_“What happened?”_ Chanyeol asks as he immediately hugs his sister, looking so relieved that she’s okay. Baekhyun has no idea what Chanyeol thought happened to her, but whatever it is, he’s glad whatever Chanyeol thought didn’t come true.

“Somin. She – she’s missing.” Yoora looks like she’s about to cry. Chanyeol lets her go to properly look at her, and Yoora continues, looking so distraught, “One moment, we’re making sure she’s getting ready in the suite. She looked so happy and excited, but the moment we went out to get the MUA, she disappeared. Mom’s out looking for her with auntie and uncle but I’m scared – what if something happens to her? What if someone kidnaps her?”

“No,” Chanyeol shakes his head, “Let’s not go there. I’m sure this is just a case of cold feet and she’s around here somewhere. _Calm down_ , Yoora,” Chanyeol immediately envelops his sister into another hug, “I’m here. Everything’s gonna be alright.”

“It’s my fault,” Yoora cries, “I was supposed to stay with her but I followed Mom although she said she could handle things alone. If something happens to Somin, it’s my fault!”

“It’s not your fault. How would you know that this is gonna happen?” Chanyeol strokes her head to calm her down, “No one’s gonna blame you, and I _won’t_ let anyone blame you. It’s _not_ your fault.”

Chanyeol sighs, “Has anyone informed the authority? Or the hotel staff at least?”

Yoora nods.

“Okay, I think we just need to continue looking for her,” Chanyeol says calmly despite the worries bubbling in his chest, “Let’s just split, okay? Baekhyun, why do you look in the gardens, and Yoora and I –” Chanyeol looks at Yoora, who’s still trying to compose herself, “We’ll go floor by floor, once she calms down.”

Baekhyun doesn’t need to be told twice. He immediately goes to the door to get out and begin his search, but before he goes out, he hears Chanyeol say to Yoora, “I know Somin. If she runs, she’ll not go far. She never runs unless she’s scared, and if she’s scared, she’d want to be found.”

_She would want to be found._

///

There are three gardens in this massive hotel. Baekhyun sets to go the first one, which is the biggest, because there are a lot of people there hence Somin might think that it’s easier to hide. There’s no better place to hide than in the plain sight, right?

The garden is big – much larger than the one where Somin’s wedding will be held. Baekhyun doesn’t wonder why it’s bigger than the rest because it’s for the hotel guests, as compared to Somin’s garden where it’s connected to the private hall, making it exclusive to only private events. Baekhyun notices that there are a lot of people there, so he has to pay extra attention to each of their faces so that he doesn’t miss Somin.

He looks, and looks, and looks. He gains some suspicious stares due to him looking at people’s face and examining them like a freak but Baekhyun can’t find it in him to care because he’s on a _mission_. He tries his best but half an hour later, he’s sure that he’s looked at everyone in the garden – and much to his dismay, Somin’s not there.

Baekhyun gives up on the first garden and goes straight to the third one. He figures that there’s no way Somin would be at the garden where the event will be held because this, to Baekhyun, is a classic case of cold feet – and Somin’s not gonna be at a place where she’s reminded of her worst fear at the moment.

_She might not be in this garden either,_ Baekhyun muses to himself as he enters the third garden, _but it’s worth the shot._

He’s relieved to see that the garden is practically empty.

It’s a beautiful garden, extremely well maintained with lots of beautiful flowers and trees that bear colourful fruits. Baekhyun finds himself lost in the garden for a while before he’s reminded of his mission. He glances around him, and since it’s empty and there’s no sign of any human being other than himself, Baekhyun calls this effort futile.

He’s about to go out when he hears a sniff. He turns around. He’s got a sharp hearing so there’s no way he misheard that.

“Hello? Anybody there?”

Silence.

_“Hello?”_

Still silence.

Baekhyun sighs. Alright, perhaps he’s getting old and his hearing is no longer as good.

He’s about to get out of the garden when he hears a woman call, “Baekhyun?”

Baekhyun freezes.

_Did someone just call his name?_

He turns around and finds the very person he’s looking for peeking from behind the apple tree. Somin’s looking at him with bloodshot eyes, face puffy from tears, lips still trembling. This is the first time she looks so pitiful and messy, completely different from her usual confident, prim appearance.

Baekhyun feels so bad for her.

“Somin,” he says, he still can’t believe his eyes, “ _You’re here_.”

Despite her haggard appearance, Baekhyun can’t be gladder to see her. He makes his way towards her, sighing in relief. Upon seeing him, Somin’s lips tremble as she bursts into tears and immediately pulls him into a hug.

Baekhyun’s eyes widen.

Well, this is unexpected.

Baekhyun has no idea what to do. Somin is hugging him so tightly and crying so pitifully that he doesn’t have the heart to push her away. He feels almost suffocated, and for a moment, he remembers how Chanyeol struggled when Somin hugged him.

Now he understands why Chanyeol struggled.

Air. _He needs air._

“Somin,” Baekhyun chokes, “I can’t – I can’t _breathe_.”

Somin freezes, but she then quickly releases Baekhyun. As Baekhyun catches his breath, Somin plops on the grass, curling into herself and continues sobbing.

“Somin, why – why’re you crying?” Baekhyun asks carefully. He looks around, wondering if he could ever get Somin out of this garden without her wailing and crying like a mad woman, which Baekhyun senses she’s going to do if he pulls her out. Somin doesn’t answer. As the matter of fact, she continues to cry like a baby, causing Baekhyun to feel even more defeated because he now has to find a way to calm Somin down, and knowing how much she dislikes him – he really doesn’t see that happening.

He sits next to Somin and waits. Perhaps Somin would calm down if he waits long enough.

“I ca – can’t d – do th – is” Somin hiccups, “I can’t. B – Baekhyun, I c – can’t!”

Baekhyun feels bad for her, really, but he doesn’t understand why Somin’s scared now – literally two hours before the wedding.

“Why not?” Baekhyun patiently asks, trying to sound as kindly as possible, “You love Minseok – and you wanted to marry him. What’s stopping you?”

Somin doesn’t answer. Instead, she buries her face in her palms and cries even more. Baekhyun sighs and takes out his phone. He opens a new text message to Chanyeol and writes:

_Found her. But she’s crying and she’s scared. I’ll try to calm her down._

Chanyeol’s answer is immediate.

**_Chanyeollie:_** Where are you? I’ll come get you two.

Baekhyun types back.

_Not sure if that’s a good idea. She’s pretty overwhelmed as it is. Give us half an hour. If we’re not back by then, you can send help._

**_Chanyeollie:_** Alright then. I trust you, Baekhyun. You can do this.

Baekhyun’s not sure about that, but there’s nothing he can do but try.

He waits until Somin’s sobbing reduces.

Once he’s sure that Somin’s calmed down a little, he says, “Somin, I know you’re scared…”

“No, you don’t.” Somin cuts his sentence, “You don’t know what I’m feeling right now. No one does. No one understands, no one _wants_ to understand.”

Baekhyun frowns, “Alright, why don’t you explain it to me then?”

“It’s none of your business.”

At that, Baekhyun’s patience disappears into thin air.

“You cried like a fucking baby, practically almost suffocated me, caused your entire family to freak out by disappearing without telling anyone, hid here like a coward, and basically ruined my outfit because I came here with a perfectly tailored suit and now it’s dirty because of I’m sitting with you on fucking grass,” Baekhyun grits his teeth, “Like it or not, it _is_ my business now. What the fuck is going on, Somin?”

He doesn’t expect Somin to take his words nicely, so when Somin looks at him like she wants to punch him, Baekhyun glares back, refusing to back down. If Somin punches him, so be it.

“You won’t get it. You don’t know how it feels like to be scared.”

“I don’t know how it feels like to be scared? That’s your answer? C’mon, you can do better than that.”

“You won’t understand, Baekhyun.”

“Try me.” Baekhyun challenges, “It’s not like we’re gonna go anywhere soon.”

Somin looks at him with eyes full of doubt. She doesn’t think that Baekhyun will understand her emotional turmoil, but at the same time he has a point – it’s not that they’re going anywhere now.

“If I say this, you’re gonna hate me.”

Baekhyun chuckles, “Well, we’re not exactly fond of each other, so I doubt I have enough emotions against you to _‘hate’_ you. Just let it out.”

Again, Baekhyun has a point. They already dislike one another, so Somin doesn’t have to worry about anything. It’s not that she cares enough about Baekhyun’s opinion to worry about what he thinks of her, so really, she has nothing to lose.

“It’s too perfect.” She says simply.

When Baekhyun doesn’t say anything, waits for her to elaborate, she sighs and continues, “That’s it. Everything’s too perfect. My fiancé. The wedding plans. My future in-laws. My family. My _life_. Everything is too perfect – and that… that scares me.”

Now it’s Baekhyun’s turn to look at her like she’s gone completely bonkers.

“Are you kidding me? You’re telling me that you ran out here, caused everyone to put out an entire search team for you – all because you’re too scared of perfection?” Baekhyun almost screams, he can feel his blood pressure rising from stress, “Somin, now’s not the time to be a fucking baby! Is all this a game for you?”

“I’m not being a baby!”

“Yes, you are!”

“You don’t understand!” Somin exclaims, tears falling down her cheeks again, “Have you ever had everything going so well for you that you think that something bad’s about to happen? You don’t know what it is, but you can feel it in your _guts_. It’s like…” Somin pauses, wiping her tears, “It’s like all this happens to prepare you for something that might happen in the future. Something bad. Something terrible. Something difficult. Because that’s what I feel – I feel like everything is going on so perfectly that something bad is bound to happen.”

Baekhyun shakes his head, “Still doesn’t make any sense. You’re afraid of something bad that might or might _not_ happen… so because of that, you dipped? Somin, you’re so…”

“What? Stupid? Dramatic? Inconsiderate?” Somin glares at him, “What else are you gonna throw at me that I already don’t know and feel? I _know_ I’m a burden right now. I _know_ you hate me and you don’t want to be here with me – _I know_. I wish I could be brave and get married, but I can’t. Not until I stop freaking out. And I can’t stop freaking out, Baekhyun, I can’t!”

“Somin, you’re making a mountain out of a molehill. It’s gonna be fin-”

“You don’t get it!” Somin cries, “What if I get married and I realise that marriage isn’t for me? What if Minseok realises that I’m not the perfect woman that he says I am? What if we realise that our relationship is all passion and lust – and we don’t have a lot in common? What if we turn out to hate each other?”

Baekhyun stops and considers her question.

“Okay… valid doubts. But here’s a thought. What if _none_ of that happens?”

“What if it does?”

Baekhyun is annoyed, but at the same time, he can’t blame Somin. He had his share of his doubts in relationships too. He questioned his partners all the time. He used to dwell in what ifs, let his mind go crazy from everything that might go wrong.

But then Chanyeol came into his life. Positive Chanyeol. Chanyeol, who was the beacon of hope and love and everything good. The light of his life. Chanyeol wasn’t the person who dwelled on the what ifs. He faced things head on, and while that used to strike Baekhyun as being reckless, he learnt that Chanyeol’s just confident. Chanyeol being so confident with everything during their relationship assured Baekhyun that this was a good thing. Chanyeol didn’t doubt him, so he didn’t doubt Chanyeol too.

Chanyeol never doubted him. He’s sure in everything he did. From the time he confessed his love for Baekhyun to the time he ended everything – Chanyeol didn’t doubt anything.

Baekhyun wonders why Chanyeol didn’t stop and doubt his decision about letting him go.

“For everything that might go wrong, there’s every chance that it might go right too.” Baekhyun says after a thought, “We won’t know – none of us does. No one knows until they get there.”

“You said that so casually,” Somin sighs, she looks so defeated, “What if things just… fall apart?”

“Then they fall apart,”

Somin glares at him, “You’re not being helpful, you know?”

“What do you want me to tell you, Somin? That things are going to be all sunshine and roses? That things are gonna be easy? That you and Minseok won’t fight at all? That you won’t have moments when you want to give up? That there won’t be any time when you feel like you want to leave because everything’s overwhelming and you wonder if it’s better if you’re alone?”

Somin blinks, taken aback by Baekhyun’s sudden outburst. She’s so surprised that she can’t even utter a single word. At that, Baekhyun continues.

“Relationships are hard. Whether you’re dating, or you’re married, it’s hard. You’re sharing your life with someone. And that someone is flawed. No one’s perfect, neither are you. You don’t just give up, okay? You don’t get to run. When you love, you commit. You have to be brave – and this, Somin,” he gestures to her, “This is not being brave. You don’t get to just go and break up with someone just because you think you’re doing something for his own good, and you don’t get to leave him hanging and wondering where things go wrong. You don’t get to do that to a person who loves you, who will always love you. You don’t. I won’t let you.”

Somin is silent. She looks at Baekhyun with an unfathomable expression, watches him as he takes a deep breath and tries to calm the emotional turmoil he feels in his chest. Baekhyun feels like he’s going to cry.

This is a lot to take.

_Chanyeol left him because he thought it’s a brave act. Loving someone so much that you put their needs before yourself is a brave act – and Chanyeol was indeed, brave. But another definition of brave is staying and fighting and risking everything for the one you love – and Baekhyun hates that this wasn’t Chanyeol’s definition of brave._

_Until today, all Baekhyun wants is for Chanyeol to fight for him. For them. For their future._

_And he hates that after all these years, he still loves Chanyeol like nothing has changed between them._

“Chanyeol – he… did… did he do something…”

Baekhyun shakes his head. He doesn’t want to talk about it.

Somin respects his wishes and stays silent. However, Baekhyun knows Somin is smart and sharp. She must have gotten the picture now.

“I love Minseok, Baekhyun. I love him so much.”

“Isn’t that enough reason to marry him?”

“Is it?”

“Somin,” Baekhyun sighs, “If you want me to tell you that you’re not gonna screw up at all, then you’ll be disappointed. Chances are, you will. Will love conquer all and make it all better? Some days it will, some days it won’t. But I know that you love him, and he loves you. And love… is _love_. No matter how hard things get, love is always worth fighting for, worth staying for, worth risking everything for.”

_Why didn’t Chanyeol stay and fight?_

_Why didn’t he, Baekhyun, stay and fight?_

_Why didn’t they fight for each other?_

“So,” Baekhyun continues, smiling at Somin although his own heart is aching, “Go get married. Take a chance. Make it work. Hell, _make it work_ , Somin, because if there’s anyone that I know will be stubborn enough to make everything work – it’s you.”

Somin laughs. She has tears in her eyes, but she’s laughing now.

“If you’re still worried, just think about how your life would be like if you bail on this wedding. You would lose Minseok. Can you imagine your life without him? Do you _want_ to live without him?”

Somin shakes her head, “ I don’t. I can’t live without him, Baekhyun. He’s the love of my life.”

At that, Baekhyun smiles, “Well, there’s your answer.”

It definitely takes Somin some more convincing, but in the end, Baekhyun manages to get her out of the garden and back to her suite. Somin’s mother practically screams in joy and relief when Somin comes back, and Somin has to apologize to everyone for making them worried. Baekhyun and Chanyeol are then shoo-ed from the room because Somin has to get ready, and in the elevator, Baekhyun notices that Chanyeol’s looking at him.

“What?” he asks.

“Just… how did you manage to convince Somin to come back?” Chanyeol looks both impressed and surprised, “I mean, I thought you two can’t stand each other. I’m surprised she listened to you.”

“To be honest, I’m surprised she listened to me too,” Baekhyun chuckles, “But she’s just afraid. I know how it feels like to be afraid. To be unsure. Somin and I, we might hate each other, but we can definitely relate when it comes to that.”

Chanyeol nods in understanding, “How did you make her feel better?”

Baekhyun looks at Chanyeol. He waits for Baekhyun’s answer, and Baekhyun wants to give it to him, but he’s tongue-tied. Looking at Chanyeol like this, in such close proximity, he realises that despite Chanyeol being taller and bigger than he was when they dated, deep in those eyes, Baekhyun still sees the Chanyeol he’s in love with. Chanyeol’s still the same person he was years ago – the person whom Baekhyun loved, and the person who broke his heart.

And despite all that, Baekhyun still yearns for him.

“I told her that dwelling in what ifs doesn’t help anyone, nor does it bring her any good,” Baekhyun says, and Chanyeol nods.

Baekhyun sighs, “And I told her that love… well, love is worth fighting for. Sometimes, even when you’re scared, you have to take the chances and believe that love will prevail. Sometimes, being brave means putting both sides first, not just one.”

The elevator reaches the ground floor, and without waiting for Chanyeol, Baekhyun walks out.

///

_Love is worth fighting for._

Chanyeol has tears in his eyes when Somin officially becomes Minseok’s wife. He’s sure that no one’s eyes are dry when Somin and Minseok share their first kiss as husband and wife. Baekhyun’s sitting next to him, and he can hear Baekhyun sobbing. He turns to look at him and finds that he is, indeed, crying, and wiping his eyes with his handkerchief.

Chanyeol wants to say something to comfort him, but he doesn’t think there’s anything he could say. So, he takes Baekhyun’s hand in his – and he doesn’t let him go.

_Love is worth fighting for._

As expected, there are questions about when Chanyeol and Baekhyun are going to tie the knot themselves. Chanyeol is flustered upon being asked the question from his uncles and aunts, but Baekhyun’s calm and composed. He looks so sure when he says, “One day we will. Not now, but we will someday.”

Chanyeol knows that this is just pretence, that Baekhyun’s just saying that to fit his role as Chanyeol’s pretend boyfriend, but Chanyeol’s heartbeat picks up anyway and he finds himself thinking about them actually getting married someday. The ship had sailed, and they’re over a long time ago, but today, _today_ he lets himself imagine.

He lets himself melt in Baekhyun’s hand, and he lets Baekhyun take the lead. He thinks about them in this setting, about their own wedding, about them starting their lives together.

“I have no doubts about us,” Baekhyun says when one of Chanyeol’s cousins asks him the question, “Chanyeol’s gonna be a great husband. He’s already such an amazing boyfriend, so I know whatever happens, I’ll be alright. _We’ll_ be alright.”

Baekhyun trusts him – still trusts him. Chanyeol looks at him, Baekhyun squeezes his hand in reassurance, and Chanyeol feels in his heart that Baekhyun meant everything he said.

_Love is worth fighting for._

Then, they dance. Chanyeol has his hands wrapped around Baekhyun’s waist while Baekhyun’s around his neck – their foreheads pressed against each other. Baekhyun has his eyes closed, enjoying the music and letting Chanyeol lead the dance. Chanyeol takes a deep breath, feeling the press of Baekhyun’s body against his, and as he looks at Baekhyun, he has never felt more in love, and he wants nothing more than to kiss him.

_Love is worth fighting for._

///

Chanyeol is saved from doing something that he might regret as Somin suddenly waltzes in and asks if she can have this dance with Chanyeol. Baekhyun nods curtly as he lets Chanyeol go and hands him to Somin. He then goes to the bar, but as he walks, Chanyeol’s eyes never leaves him.

“Chanyeol?” Somin calls, pulling Chanyeol out of his reverie. He blinks. His focus back on Somin who is giving him a knowing look that makes him uncomfortable. There’s just something about Somin that makes her look like she knows everything that’s going on, and while Chanyeol is used to it because he practically grew up with her, sometimes Somin can still be highly intimidating.

Chanyeol keeps his mouth shut as he dances with Somin. He can feel Somin’s eyes on him, but he doesn’t look at her, nor does he care. His eyes fall on Baekhyun who’s sitting alone at one of the tables, drinking his champagne.

And when Baekhyun looks at him too, when their eyes lock, Baekhyun gives him a bright smile that makes Chanyeol’s heart beat faster.

“You’re still in love with him, huh?” Somin asks out of the nowhere.

Chanyeol’s caught completely off-guard.

“W – what?” Chanyeol stutters, “I mean, yes, of course. He’s my boyfriend, of course I still love him.”

“Chanyeol,” Somin says patiently, her tone soft, yet firm, “There’s only one truth in your sentence just now, and we both know it.”

“I don’t know what you’re implying here, Somin. I wasn’t lying about anything.” Chanyeol lies, and he realises that he shouldn’t do that because he’s a terrible liar.

Somin is able to read him like a book.

“I’m saying you still love Baekhyun,” her gaze turns to Baekhyun, who’s watching other people dance, smiling serenely to himself. She then directs her gaze back to Chanyeol, “But he’s not your boyfriend.”

Chanyeol can hear alarms going off in his head, indicating danger – that he’s _busted._ Somin sounds so sure in what she’s saying and Chanyeol has no idea how he’s supposed to continue to lie to her. He’s not sure if she’s going to believe him.

So, he keeps quiet.

“You don’t have to lie to me. Baekhyun told me,” she says, but upon seeing Chanyeol’s reaction, she continues, “I mean, not directly, but I’m not dumb. I can put two and two together. And Baekhyun’s not exactly as discreet as he wants to be.”

Chanyeol’s still quiet.

“Why did you let him go, Chanyeol?”

“Somin, with all due respect,” Chanyeol starts, feeling annoyance bubbling in his chest, “This is none of your business.”

Somin rolls her eyes, “It’s not, but you did lie to me and our entire family about your status with Baekhyun. And you dragged him into your own lie although you broke his heart. Right now, you’re a pretty shit person, dear cousin.”

“Okay, you know what, I’m not gonna take this,” Chanyeol pulls away from Somin in the middle of the dance, “You can’t stand there and say things like that to me!”

Much to his surprise, Somin grits her teeth and pulls him back in, her grip so tight that he can’t move, “Listen. I owe Baekhyun one, and I’m gonna make this right.” She looks at Chanyeol with such intensity that Chanyeol feels himself paralyzed, “Dance with me.”

Chanyeol does exactly that.

“I don’t know what happened between you two, and frankly, I don’t care – I was just being nice,” Somin starts. Chanyeol snorts at that because Somin’s definition of ‘nice’ is always a little off, but when Somin glares at him, Chanyeol’s expression falters, and he sighs as he continues to lead the dance.

“But I can tell that you still love him. You’re in love with your ex, Chanyeol. _Your ex_.”

“And your point is?”

“Why haven’t you moved on?”

The question feels like a slap to his face. Coming from Somin, a stranger who simply observes the relationship, Chanyeol can see how pathetic this makes him. And he wishes he has the answer to that. He wishes he knows why he can’t love anyone after Baekhyun. He wishes he knows why the thought of dating anyone else after Baekhyun is repulsive and wrong, and how he’d rather watch Baekhyun be happy than seek happiness for himself.

He wishes he knows why he’s toxic to himself when it comes to love.

“Do you still wish that there’s a chance for you and him?”

Chanyeol doesn’t answer, but not because of pettiness, but because he doesn’t know. He wants Baekhyun to be happy. He wants Baekhyun to thrive and continue to be successful. He wants to be there for him, but he doesn’t know if Baekhyun wants to be with him. Not after all he did to him. Not after he broke his heart so casually a few years ago.

“Chanyeol?”

“I don’t know, Somin.” Chanyeol answers, frustrated, “I wish I know the answers, but I don’t. I love him so much that I feel like I’m going crazy but I also want the best for him – and I don’t know if I’m the best for him. I still don’t know.”

“And it’s unfair to ask for him for another chance,” Chanyeol continues, “I want to fight for us, but how selfish would I be if I do that when I was the one who broke up with him? He’s happier now. I might be a shit person, Somin, but I’d rather die than hurt Baekhyun again.”

Somin’s face is unreadable. Her eyes are on him, looking at him like she’s reading his soul. Somin’s always been a great listener, a great advisor. She seems to always understand – but Chanyeol doubts she understands this.

“He still loves you too, you know?”

Chanyeol snorts. God, she really doesn’t get it, “Yeah, right.”

_Somin knew sadness when she saw it. She saw it in herself when she was growing up. She saw it in herself when she’s in school where no one wanted to befriend her. She saw it in herself when she’s working in her own company, where the only people who wanted to be near her were either desperate for a promotion or a raise._

_Somin had been sad her entire life. Never knew what happiness was until she met Minseok. So, she’d say that she knew what sadness looked like. She knew eyes that were devoid of happiness when she saw them._

_And this was the first time that she truly looked at Baekhyun, and she saw so much sadness that she stopped thinking about herself for a while and focused on him._

_They’re walking slowly to the suite after Baekhyun convinced her to get out of the garden. As they walked, Somin had a burning question in her chest that she needed to let out._

_“Who ended it?”_

_Baekhyun stopped in his tracks and looked at her, “I’m sorry?”_

_“You and Chanyeol. Who ended it?”_

_Sadness appeared in Baekhyun’s eyes again._

_“I don’t want to talk about that.”_

_It might not be a clear cut answer, but it’s enough confirmation for Somin._

_Baekhyun continued walking, faster this time, so Somin had to fasten her pace to catch up with him._

_“But you two look like you’re still together.”_

_“Somin,” Baekhyun sighed as he stopped and looked at her in the eyes, “Stop it. Whatever you deduce, just keep it to yourself. Don’t talk about it to anyone. Don’t even mention it. Just let it go.”_

_He looked so pitiful that Somin actually felt bad for him. So, she nodded, and then continued to walk alongside Baekhyun._

_When they’re in the elevator, Somin asked, “Do you still love him?”_

_“Somin, what did I tell you about not mentioning it again?”_

_“Baekhyun please,” Somin pleaded, “Just answer this one.”_

_Baekhyun sighed, he looked upset, just wanting this to be over._

_“I do.” He said, “I’ve never stopped, and never will stop. So, yes, I still love him. Happy?”_

_Somin crossed her arms across her chest, “You’re saying that there’s another chance for you two.”_

_“Stop it.”_

_“Does Chanyeol know about this?”_

_“Somin, stop it. I mean it. Just let it go, okay?”_

_“But I’m curious!”_

_“It’s not your place to be curious!”_

_“Chanyeol’s my cousin!”_

_“Which is why you shouldn’t be curious! Don’t be so nosy!”_

_“You want to be with him, do you?”_

_“Somin, I swear to God!”_

_“Do you?”_

_“Stop it!”_

_“Do you? Do you? Do you?”_

_“Yes!” Baekhyun exclaimed, “I want to be with him. I want to love him, and I don’t want anyone else to have him. I’m selfish and stupid, and I’m tired, but this is what I feel. Yes, I want to be with him – even if it’s impossible now, I want to be with him. So, can we please, drop this?”_

_At that, the elevator reached the floor they’re going to, and Somin finally dropped the topic._

“It’s okay if you don’t wanna believe me, but he does. I can see the way he looks at you, and I can hear it when he talks about you.” Somin says, but not saying more because she’s not sure if Baekhyun appreciates her telling Chanyeol everything he said, “If you ask me, there’s always a second chance. All you have to do is ask.”

Chanyeol looks at her questioningly, and Somin, with more urgency, whispers in Chanyeol’s ear, “For the love of God, Chanyeol, stop being a coward, and do yourself a favour. _Ask_.”

Just then, the music stops. Somin lets him go, and then without saying anything, goes back to her husband. Chanyeol stares at her as she goes, wondering what the fuck was all that about.

///

Baekhyun loves watching people dance. No matter how terrible or how good they are, there’s just something about dancing that makes Baekhyun so happy. He loves how there’s so much that can be conveyed from just movements of the body, and how dancing makes people feel better, freer, calmer. Until today, he still uses his free time on the weekends to follow Jongin to his dance studio to watch him dance and practice.

Now at the wedding, people are dancing, and people are happy. This makes Baekhyun happy too.

He drinks his champagne as he watches everyone having the time of their lives. His eyes then find Chanyeol, who is dancing with Somin, and he realises that Chanyeol is looking at him. They share a smile, and Baekhyun feels his heart explode with warmth and love when Chanyeol smiles at him.

He knows he can’t keep watching Chanyeol, but it’s just so hard to keep his eyes off him. Chanyeol is so beautiful, so tall, so handsome. He’s also so warm, and kind, and considerate – all in all the best man Baekhyun has ever known. No matter how hard he tries to keep his feelings muted, Baekhyun knows that when it comes to Chanyeol, it’s only the matter of time when everything comes screaming back at him.

How can it not be? In the world of dull greys and whites, Chanyeol is the screaming colour.

Still, when Chanyeol turns his focus on Somin, Baekhyun looks away, forces himself to focus on other things. This is bad. This is really, _really_ bad. They have to go back tomorrow night but Baekhyun never feels more distant than reality that he is now. He keeps trying to go back to the ground, but Chanyeol fills him with such happiness that he feels like he’s floating among the clouds.

Chanyeol makes him happy. _Chanyeol makes him feel._

Baekhyun sighs as he chugs the rest of his drink. He lets his mind wander for a bit, trying to regain his senses, to think about anything else other than Chanyeol.

As he tries to distract himself, he’s then pulled out of his reverie when a caterer worker takes his champagne glass and cleans the table. He looks up, ready to apologize and move to make the worker’s job easier, but words die in his throat when he realises who the caterer worker is.

Kyungsoo.

///

“Mr. Byun Baekhyun, this is an honour.” Kyungsoo says as he sits on the chair next to Baekhyun. Baekhyun had asked him to sit and have a chat with him, and although he’s met with hesitation on Kyungsoo’s part because Kyungsoo’s working, he then convinces him that it’s okay, and he’ll explain to Kyungsoo’s boss later.

“Please, call me Baekhyun.” Baekhyun says, feeling a little awkward at such a formal greeting, “But… an honour? Why?”

“Chanyeol didn’t tell you? I’m a big fan of yours,” Kyungsoo says happily. He has the biggest smile on his face, his eyes shine with admiration, and he looks so pure that Baekhyun feels bad that he felt resentment at this young man when he saw him with Chanyeol.

“No, he didn’t,” Baekhyun answers, but then he smiles, “But thank you for loving my work.”

“No no, thank _you_ for producing such amazing work! I’ve been following your career since you launched your first line ever! You’re such an inspiration, I swear. I still save up so much to buy your stuff and I don’t regret a thing because they’re so great and are of such high quality – everything you’ve designed are masterpieces and every magazine work you did are great. I aspire to be like you and…. Oh my God, I’m talking too much,” Kyungsoo blushes, the tips of his ears go red. He clears his throat, casting his glance away from Baekhyun, who’s flabbergasted by his admiration, “So, um, thank you, Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun doesn’t know what to say. The reason why he asks Kyungsoo to sit with him in the first place is because he’s curious of his relationship with Chanyeol. He wanted to ask how they could get so close when they’ve known each other in the span of two days, but now that Kyungsoo turns out to be such a pure soul, Baekhyun is at loss of what to do or say.

In a way, he understands why Chanyeol warms up to Kyungsoo so quickly. How can he not?

Eventually, Baekhyun asks, “You said I’m your inspiration?”

“I did.”

“Why?”

“Um, because you’re amazing?” Kyungsoo answers like that’s the most obvious answer ever, “I’m an aspiring fashion designer too, so I look up to your work. I think it’s amazing how you’ve accomplished so much at such a young age – not many can do that – and you have this pure talent that I can only dream to have.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes shine as he looks at Baekhyun, “I’m so sorry if I sound creepy, but it’s just – I just admire you so much.”

Baekhyun chuckles, feeling his face warm up. By this time, he knows he’s supposed to get used to compliments. He gets it a lot from a lot of people, from his fans to the top CEOs in the industry – but no matter what, it still feels like a dream. People acknowledging his talent and loving his work still feel like a dream.

“Thank you,” Baekhyun says, his face red. When Kyungsoo simply smiles, Baekhyun decides to change the topic and asks, “You said you’re a designer. If you’d like, you can show me your portfolio, and perhaps I can see if there’s anything I can do for you.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes widen, “No. Really? You’d do that?”

“Well, I have to see your work first.” Baekhyun laughs, “If it’s good, I can help getting some words in.”

It’s almost comical how Kyungsoo’s jaw drop and his eyes widen in surprise, perhaps not believing his luck. Baekhyun sees how tired Kyungsoo looks, and he admires how despite all that, Kyungsoo still maintains positive and lively. He thinks such a soul deserves a break.

Baekhyun has a hunch that Kyungsoo’s work would be good, but he won’t know until he sees it.

_He hopes it’s good._

So, he exchanges his contact with Kyungsoo. Baekhyun is just telling Kyungsoo to call his assistant to arrange an appointment with him next week when they’re suddenly joined by none other than Park Chanyeol.

“I see you two already know each other,” Chanyeol greets, and much to Baekhyun’s dismay, he takes a seat next to Kyungsoo.

“Baekhyun says he can help me getting a job,” Kyungsoo smiles thankfully at Baekhyun. Baekhyun’s heart hurt at how sincere he looks – why can’t Chanyeol befriend someone awful so that Baekhyun can hate him easily?

“You can?” Chanyeol looks at Baekhyun, surprised, “Baekhyun, that’s awesome!”

“I mean, I do have to see his work first, but if they’re good, I can arrange some meetings.”

“I know for a fact that Kyungsoo is gonna do great.” Chanyeol wraps his arm around Kyungsoo’s shoulder, squeezing him in assurance. Baekhyun feels a pang in his heart, but he makes sure a smile never leaves his face.

“No, you’re just saying that,” Kyungsoo blushes, playfully pushes Chanyeol away, “But thank you. Thank you, you two.”

They talk for a bit before Kyungsoo excuses himself to get back to his work. He shares a warm look with Chanyeol before leaving, a look that is intimate enough to make Baekhyun feel like he’s an outsider all of the sudden. He feels jealousy spread in his chest, enough to make him feel like snatching his card from Kyungsoo’s hand.

But then Kyungsoo turns to him and gives him the most hopeful, the most sincere smile Baekhyun has ever seen – and at that, he falters, his jealousy disappears.

“It’s amazing that you did all that for him, y’know?” Chanyeol says once Kyungsoo is gone. He looks at Baekhyun with so much admiration and kindness that Baekhyun feels himself melt.

“I mean, he’s your friend, so I thought why not I help him a bit?”

“I know, and that’s great.” Chanyeol says, “He’s gone through a lot, you know? He sacrificed so much, and for him to possibly get a break – it’s so heart-warming to see. You’re amazing for doing this for him although you don’t know him well. Baekhyun, you’re so amazing, and I love you for that.”

Baekhyun feels his heart stop. He looks at Chanyeol, who seems to have frozen in his seat. Baekhyun knows him too well. He knows that Chanyeol’s probably beating himself up mentally right now.

“What did you just say?”

“I… I mean…” Chanyeol stammers, refusing to meet Baekhyun’s eyes, “I don’t – I lo – ”

_Please say it, please say it,_ Baekhyun finds himself hoping.

“Baekhyun, Chanyeol, look! They have ice-cream!” Yoora yells a few feet away from them. Upon hearing that, Chanyeol jumps to his feet, looking so relieved.

Baekhyun’s heart sink at that. He’s so disappointed seeing how uncomfortable Chanyeol looks at the thought of talking about them, and Baekhyun sees this as nothing more but proof that Chanyeol doesn’t feel the way he feels. The hope that balloons up in his chest pops into nothingness, and Baekhyun accepts that it might just be a slip of the tongue. Chanyeol didn’t mean it the way Baekhyun wanted him to mean it.

“I’m gonna get ice-cream.” Chanyeol says, still avoiding Baekhyun’s eyes, “Want some?

“Nah, go get some for yourself,” Baekhyun forces a laugh, “Don’t take too much, though. Don’t you have a diet to follow?”

Chanyeol chuckles at that, “You remind me of my diet when I’m about to get ice-cream? You’re mean.”

“Well, someone gotta,” Baekhyun says leisurely, “Now, go.”

Baekhyun hates how easily his emotions shift when it comes to Chanyeol. One moment, he’s longing for Chanyeol to be right beside him. Then, he wants Chanyeol to leave him alone because the feelings are overwhelming.

He’s so far from being over this man. He’s so far from moving on.

Chanyeol then quickly skips to the ice-cream counter, and Baekhyun stays seated, feeling his heart ache more than ever.

///

The journey back to the hotel is mostly quiet. It’s already night time, as they had to stay back and help out even after the guests had gone home.

_After everything’s settled, they sent Somin and Minseok to the airport for their honeymoon, and at the airport, they all said their goodbyes. For some reason Chanyeol couldn’t comprehend, Baekhyun kept his distance from him, and that didn’t go unnoticed by Somin._

_When no one’s looking, Somin pulled Chanyeol to the side._

_“What did you do?”_

_Chanyeol glared at her, “You really need to mind your own business, you know?”  Somin then pinched his arm, causing him to wince, “And I didn’t do anything!”_

_Somin didn’t seem to believe him. She darted her gaze to Baekhyun, who’s talking to Minseok at the moment, and then she looked at Chanyeol again, “I’m telling you, Chanyeol, you need to ask. For God’s sake, ask him!”_

_“Ask him for what?!”_

_“Chanyeol, you fucking idiot,” Somin facepalmed herself, looking so frustrated. She then opened her mouth to explain, but then she was interrupted by the announcement and Minseok calling her to hurry._

_“Somin, tell me,” It had finally dawned upon Chanyeol that Somin knew something. Baekhyun told her something, and she wanted to tell him but she couldn’t, “What is it?”_

_“Somin! C’mon!” Minseok called, and Somin looked conflicted._

_“I really shouldn’t interfere. This is between you two,” Somin said, but when Chanyeol opened his mouth to protest, she quickly continued, “All I’m saying is that you won’t know anything until you’re brave enough to ask. Until you truly let go of your past guilt and just take a leap. Just be brave, Chanyeol. Stop feeling guilty, and stop being afraid. Just take the leap, and ask. You’d be surprised to see what’s waiting for you on the other side.”_

_Somin then went with Minseok, and she had her happy ending. Chanyeol wondered whether he would ever get his._

In a way, Chanyeol gets what he wanted. No one in his family doubts his relationship with Baekhyun. Everyone thinks they’re still dating, and Baekhyun’s still loved and admired by everyone at the wedding.

Baekhyun did a wonderful job too. He kept himself next to Chanyeol at all times. They had comments from Chanyeol’s relatives saying how they’re practically attached at the hips and it’s so funny how they’re still like that although they’d been dating for a long time. Chanyeol laughed along with them, but he never fully understood why it’s so difficult for him to part from Baekhyun. And Baekhyun didn’t say anything when Chanyeol touched him. He let him be, and Chanyeol didn’t miss the little smile on his face every time Chanyeol held his hand.

“Today’s a good day, wasn’t it?” Baekhyun suddenly says. Chanyeol barely conceals his surprise as Baekhyun’s been quiet ever since they’re at the airport, but now he’s talking again.

“Yeah, it was.”

“I had fun,” Baekhyun says, a smile appears on his soft face, “Kinda sad that it’s over, to be honest.”

Chanyeol nods. He is sad too. Now that everything’s over, they don’t have to pretend anymore. And now that they don’t have to pretend, they have to go back to… well, go back to what exactly?

“We have a whole day tomorrow,” Baekhyun says cheerfully, although Chanyeol can’t help but to notice how forced it sounds, “What do you want to do?”

Chanyeol thinks.

“Well, we can go for a walk again. And you can show me the restaurant you went to with the Dubai tourists the other day,” Chanyeol suggests. Baekhyun’s eyes light up with the mention of the restaurant, so Chanyeol chuckles fondly and says, “Lunch is on me tomorrow – I hope the food’s good, Byun Baekhyun.”

“Please,” Baekhyun laughs, “ _Everything_ is on you tomorrow. I’m not spending a dime, remember?”

Chanyeol rolls his eyes, “I thought you forgot about the rules!”

“No way, baby.” Baekhyun shakes his head, “Rules are rules.”

Chanyeol smiles. He doesn’t mind the rules at all. If treating him for lunch tomorrow makes Baekhyun happy, then he’d do it. He’d do anything for him. Baekhyun’s been so good to him this weekend, so the least he could do is this.

Silence falls, and as they sit there, Somin’s words ring in Chanyeol’s head.

_“Ask, Chanyeol. Ask him”_

Chanyeol can’t stop thinking about it. He doesn’t get it. What did Baekhyun say to Somin? What did Somin mean by taking a leap? What’s he supposed to do?

He’s supposed to be brave, and ask. But _ask what?_

Chanyeol thinks, and thinks, but he comes to a dead end.

In the end, all that comes out of his mouth is, “I wish this never ends.” he feels his heartbeat pick up when Baekhyun turns from looking outside the window to looking at him, “I love doing this.”

“Doing what?” Baekhyun chuckles, “Pretend that we’re boyfriends?”

_No. I love doing this. I love doing… us. I love letting myself love you all over again. Although I shouldn’t. Although I should’ve moved on by now. I love loving you, and I want to love you again. And I want to feel your love again. I want to feel you loving me again. I want to do this again, but this time I don’t want to pretend._

Just like that, a realization strikes Chanyeol.

He wants a second chance.

_“Ask, Chanyeol. Ask him.”_

A second chance – was Somin talking about a second chance?

///

Chanyeol’s acting weird, Baekhyun thinks.

This isn’t a new thing, considering that Chanyeol is always a little weird, a little awkward. But something changed in the car, something that caused Chanyeol to stay completely mute and only nodded and shook his head if Baekhyun said anything to him.

It’s frustrating, really.

And truthfully, Baekhyun’s tired. Perhaps this is the effect of the long day, but Baekhyun is tired of feeling like they’re playing games. He hates that one moment, he’s sharing a moment with Chanyeol but the next moment, they suddenly don’t know what to say to one another. One moment, he feels his chest filled with love and hope, but the next moment, he’s crushed by disappointment and sadness.

It’s tiring. He’s been feeling this all day – and he’s tired.

Baekhyun thinks he’s about to lose his mind too. He knows he’s fucked up. He’s let emotions get to him. He enjoys pretending way too much, and now he feels his heart grow heavier at the thought that it’s all over and reality is sinking in.

They’re friends. They’re exes. They’re exes who stay as friends.

Thing is, how can he go back to being friends with Chanyeol when he’s in love with him? When he’s so in love with him that it physically hurts?

Tired. He’s _tired_.

Chanyeol opens the door for him and steps aside to let him enter the room first. Baekhyun doesn’t say anything to Chanyeol – too tired to handle the awkwardness anymore – and at this point, Baekhyun thinks he won’t be able to say anything without spilling any of his frustration out.

The last thing he needs is for Chanyeol to know that he still loves him like crazy, and everything that happens today intensifies everything into a level that he cannot control.

_God, he really needs to sleep this off._

Baekhyun turns around to tell Chanyeol that he can use the bathroom first, but words get stuck in his throat when he realises that Chanyeol is just standing against the closed door. He’s looking at him with an expression that Baekhyun doesn’t understand.

“Chanyeol, why’re you standing there?”

When Chanyeol doesn’t answer, Baekhyun sighs. God, he’s so tired.

“You can use the bathroom first,” Baekhyun says as he takes off his blazer and throws it on the couch. He takes off his tie and then unbuttons the top buttons, and when he realises that Chanyeol’s still quiet, he turns around to nag at him.

But words get stuck in his throat when he realises that Chanyeol’s making his way towards him.

Chanyeol’s gaze is intense, yet soft at the same time. It’s been a while since Chanyeol looks at him like that, like Baekhyun’s the only one he sees, like he’s Chanyeol’s entire world. Baekhyun might be delusional, but it’s the look that Chanyeol used to have when they’re dating – a look of love, a look of longing.

Baekhyun misses that look.

His throat goes dry. He feels something in his chest, something akin to hope, but at this point, he’s trying hard to not acknowledge his own feelings because he’s tired of getting his hopes up only to get disappointed again. He shouldn’t hope for anything to happen. He shouldn’t wish for Chanyeol to want anything from him.

He doesn’t want to expect anything anymore. He needs to protect himself – just this once.

Chanyeol stops when he’s right in front of Baekhyun, close enough for Baekhyun to smell his cologne, to see fading blemishes on his pale skin. His gaze on Baekhyun is unreadable, but having his eyes on him for a period of time is enough to make Baekhyun squirm.

“W-why are you looking at me like that?”

Baekhyun doesn’t think Chanyeol knows the answer to his question. But his eyes never leave Baekhyun’s, so Baekhyun waits.

“Baekhyun,” Chanyeol blinks, his eyes soft and he looks as tired as Baekhyun, “I’m tired of this.”

_Me too,_ Baekhyun thinks.

“Tired of what?”

Chanyeol seems to be debating with himself. Baekhyun sees the conflict in his eyes, the struggle that he has with himself. He feels like Chanyeol is going to pull away, like he always does, but in the end, much to Baekhyun’s surprise, Chanyeol’s hand reaches forward and touches the skin of Baekhyun’s cheek.

Baekhyun gasps, his heart beating so rapidly against his chest that he feels like he can’t breathe.

Chanyeol doesn’t even move or not is he affected by Baekhyun’s reaction. As the matter of fact, he moves closer, so much so that they’re an inch from one another, and he says, “I think you know.”

Chanyeol is so close now, so close that Baekhyun feels his breath of his face. He feels Chanyeol’s hand move to back of his head, Chanyeol running his hand through Baekhyun’s hair, his eyes pleading, waiting for Baekhyun to just get what he’s trying to say.

“Say it,” Baekhyun whispers, closing his eyes when Chanyeol places his forehead against his, “You have to say it.”

“Baekhyun,” Chanyeol whispers, their noses bumping, _“I want you."_

At that, Baekhyun feels sparks in his chest. His lips curl into a smile, and his hand moves to the back of Chanyeol’s neck, pulls him in, and seals their lips in a kiss.

He kisses Chanyeol like he needs him to breathe, the sole reason why he’s living. He kisses Chanyeol like he doesn’t want to let him go, like he’s been waiting for him for years and he’s finally here in his arms.

He feels warmth exploding in his veins, his brain numb as Chanyeol’s lips move against his, as Chanyeol’s hands travelled to his back, pulling him in so close that he’s pressed against him. Despite the desperation they feel for one another, their movements slow, the kisses slow like they’re exploring each other again. Baekhyun feels like a huge weight is lifted off him – he feels light, light as a feather.

Chanyeol holds him like he never wants to let him go ever again, and Baekhyun wants to tell him that he’s never going anywhere again. Not anymore. But words don’t cut it, so Baekhyun kisses him more desperately, more deeply. The kisses grow more passionate, more heated, more eager. So much that they went from caressing each other’s skin to clawing each other, desperate to get clothes off one another.

Baekhyun kisses Chanyeol again and again, and for the first time since forever, he feels so fucking alive.

///

In the haze of lust and passion, Baekhyun’s brain barely register what’s going on. One moment, they’re making out, but the next moment, both of them are naked on the bed, hands never leaving each other, caressing every inch of skin that they could reach, lips on each other’s lips, discovering each other all over again.

Chanyeol leaves no skin on Baekhyun’s body untouched, unkissed, unloved. He never thought he’d see the love of his life like this again, so he takes his time worshipping the man he has loved and missed so much. He drinks in his moans, his grunts, his calls for his name.

He loves Byun Baekhyun. And now he knows that Byun Baekhyun loves him too.

When Baekhyun urges him to get the lube and condom from his bag, Chanyeol doesn’t waste time to get it. He gets so eager that he loses his footing while trying to get out of the bed and then falls flat from the bed to the floor.

He hears Baekhyun laugh at him.

“Ow,” Chanyeol whines, “That hurts.”

“Don’t tell me that you fell flat on your dick,” Baekhyun muses from the bed, peeking from the edge of it to look at Chanyeol, “Because that would be a pity.”

“My dick is fine, thanks for asking,” Chanyeol huffs, but then gets up anyway to get the lube and the condom from Baekhyun’s bag. He gets back to the bed and finds Baekhyun lying bare on the bed, waiting for him. He looks so beautiful, so flawless that Chanyeol feels heat coursing through his veins.

He realises that Baekhyun is laughing at him. His eyes narrow as he gets on the bed and hovers over Baekhyun.

“What?” he asks.

“Now who’s drooling over who?” Baekhyun remarks slyly, still not letting Chanyeol forget what happened this morning. Chanyeol rolls his eyes.

“Y’know, I’m gonna get back at you for laughing at me.” He says as he pulls back and pours the lube on his fingers. Baekhyun stares at him and spreads his legs, a cheeky smile appears on his lips, “Oh, I’m sure you will.”

At that, Chanyeol surges forward and pulls Baekhyun into a heated kiss. His heartbeat picks up, and he kisses Baekhyun again, again, and again.

“Nervous?” Baekhyun whispers against his lips, looking up at Chanyeol. Chanyeol chuckles as he reaches downwards, lining his finger at Baekhyun’s entrance and pushes in. Baekhyun winces, closes his eyes. Upon seeing Baekhyun’s discomfort, Chanyeol slows down his movement, and then kisses Baekhyun’s collarbones, his chest, his face as he works him open.

“Very.” Chanyeol answers, “But I’ve wanted this for so long. So,” he kisses Baekhyun’s eyes, “so,” his nose, “long” his lips.

Baekhyun smiles, but then gasps when Chanyeol adds another finger and scissors him open. His brain has gone to mush, and he’s pretty sure all rational thoughts are gone when he feels the heat of Chanyeol’s stare. And when Chanyeol pulls him into another passionate kiss, Baekhyun can think of nothing but Chanyeol, Chanyeol, _Chanyeol._

That night, they don’t see anything but each other. The feelings are intense when they become one, when they’re finally connected, and Chanyeol links their fingers together as they ride through the overwhelming emotions together, as they let themselves love each other again, forgetting everything in the past and starting anew.

They’re finally them again, and that night, nothing else matters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys! so, here's the new chapter! i hope you guys liked this! this is by far the hardest chapter to write, simply bcs i'm so inexperienced in incorporating fluff with angst. but i tried, and i did my best - so be gentle with me :) 
> 
> also, please note that i've changed the chapters from having 5 chapters to 6 chapters in total, so we have two more chapter with chanyeol and baekhyun :) i know things are looking good for them now, but there's one loose end that is yet to be settled - can you detect what it is? (i'm sure you can, it's so obvious)
> 
> anyway, please leave a comment if you have time! lemme know what you think here or at my twitter (@ninisbabygirl)! see you in the next chapter! xx


	5. the friend

Baekhyun tries to calm down, but the longer he lies there, the more he’s losing his mind.

This is bad. This is  _ really _ bad.

Baekhyun contemplates running away. He doesn’t think that he can handle facing Chanyeol and listening to him saying that what happened last night was the result of them succumbing to their emotions, that last night did not mean anything serious. Baekhyun could almost hear it. He plays the possible scenario in his head over and over until his heart breaks in two. Honestly, what did he think was going to happen between them? 

He can’t believe he slept with Chanyeol.

Baekhyun almost hates himself for letting it happen. Sure, last night was great. Amazing, even. They kissed, and fucked, and laughed. For the first time in years, Baekhyun felt complete, and for the first time in years, he didn’t hold himself back in loving Chanyeol. He put everything emotion he felt in every kiss, every moan, every touch. 

Last night meant  _ something  _ to him.

Baekhyun has always known that a part of him will always love Chanyeol unconditionally. Hell, he loves that man even after they broke up. He longs for him, waits for him although he knows that he’s being stupid for being hung up over his ex. He’s used to loving Chanyeol, but last night felt different. 

It felt new. Like a breath of fresh air. It’s familiar yet foreign at the same time. It’s like they got to know each other again, but it also felt like they’re saying hello to each other for the first time.

Worst of all, Baekhyun let himself hope that last night was the start of something new. Let himself be delusional for the rest of the night as Chanyeol kissed him and owned him again, forgetting that there’s every possibility that last night happened because they were emotional and lonely after Somin’s wedding, and that night, they only had each other.

What if Baekhyun fell in love but Chanyeol didn’t feel the same? They didn’t talk much because they’re too busy doing other things, but he didn’t recall Chanyeol telling him that he loves him. He did recall Chanyeol saying that he wanted him.

And those two aren’t the same.

Baekhyun cannot handle that, and he’s not going to. 

So he gets up from the bed, reaches for his clothes and quickly goes to wash his face and brush his teeth. He does everything as quickly and as quietly as he can so that Chanyeol won’t wake up from his peaceful slumber. Once he feels a little more awake and a little more refreshed, Baekhyun puts on his clothes and goes out the door.

He has no idea where he’s going. It’s not like he can go anywhere far anyway because his belongings are still in the room. Baekhyun doesn’t even know why he’s running to nowhere. All he knows that he’s freaking out, and he’s scared, and he feels so messed up that he’s going to cry.

He needs to clear his head. He needs to prepare himself for whatever Chanyeol is going to say to him later.

Baekhyun then finds himself at the lobby, torn between taking a car to go away from here or to go to the lake. Just as he thinks, he hears someone call his name.

He turns around and much to his horror, he finds himself face to face with Mrs. Park.

“Baekhyun!” she greets, smiling so widely that Baekhyun wonders how that smile can fit her small face, “Good morning! Sorry I overslept, but I got ready as fast and I can and I’m - wait,” she stops her chatter and looks at Baekhyun, and before Baekhyun can even say anything, she cups his cheeks with her hands and asks, “What’s wrong with you?”

Baekhyun stutters, “W-what wrong w-with me?”

Mrs. Park tilts her head, observing Baekhyun’s face curiously, “You look sad. Why’re you sad?”

Baekhyun doesn’t want to answer that. God, if he does, he’ll be here forever.

Gently, he removes Mrs Park’s hand from his face and forces a smile.

“I’m okay, Mrs. Park, I promise,” he lies, “A little tired, but I’m okay.”

Mrs. Park doesn’t seem to believe him at first, but Baekhyun musters all the strength he has left to appear as cheerful as he can, so in the end, she lets the matter go. 

“Alright then,” she smiles, “So, what are we doing first? Breakfast, or lake? I’m not that hungry, and I need my morning walk -  get some exercise, y’know? But if you’re hungry, we can have breakfast first!” 

Baekhyun listens to Mrs. Park’s chatter with confusion. And his confusion is apparent because Mrs. Park then explains, “You promised to take me for a walk around the lake, remember? We talked about it yesterday morning during breakfast?”

Baekhyun’s brain whirs, trying to remember when exactly did he promise that. Yesterday was an eventful day. So many things happening all at once.

And then it hits him. He _ did _ promise her to take her for a walk. He said he’d take her this morning. He said it when Mrs Park and Yoora interrupted his breakfast with Chanyeol, and he said it like a promise. It  _ was  _ a promise.

Oh  _ fuck. _

Upon seeing the realization dawning on Baekhyun’s face, Mrs. Park smile gets wider. She then links her arms with Baekhyun and says, “So, lake first, shall we?”

////

This isn’t bad.

Mrs Park might look like a chatty woman because of her friendliness, but when she’s enjoying herself, she doesn’t talk much. At first, Baekhyun dreads having to spend time answering her often burning questions and listening to her endless chatter, but much to his pleasant surprise, Mrs Park doesn’t say anything other than her amazement of the lake and the view. Sometimes she stops Baekhyun and asks him to take her pictures at some beautiful spots, but after that she goes back to complete silence.

Just like Baekhyun, she seems to want to clear her mind. It has been a few overwhelming days.

Baekhyun finds himself relaxing as he walks with her. She lets him think, lets himself lose himself in his thoughts. And Baekhyun thinks about Chanyeol. About where they stand. About what he wants for himself. About what he wants for  _ them. _

He sighs.

“You know, you’re not as subtle as you think you are.” Mrs Park says. She’s not looking at Baekhyun, instead, she’s looking at the lake, chuckling slightly at the sight of little kids giving the ducks dried food for them to eat. 

“You’re talking to me?”

“Of course,” she replies, still not looking at him, “Who else?”

Baekhyun stares at her, blinking confusedly. What’s he supposed to say now?

“Baekhyun, my son loves you.” she starts, serene smile on her lips, “I’m proud that he’s grown up to be a great man - pure and wise in all things - but one thing that he hasn’t learnt is subtlety. He’s good at being a good son, at loving you. But he’s not good at lying. I can tell what you two were doing.”

Baekhyun feels his blood leave his face. His silence causes Mrs Park to turn to him to see if he’s still listening, and upon seeing his pale face, she chuckles.

“I’m not mad. I’m too old to be mad at anyone,” she says calmly, “Whatever’s happening between you two, I hope you get it all figured out soon. If my son hurt you in any way, just tell me, and I’ll smack his head for you.”

Despite his bewilderment that Mrs Park knew their charade all this while, Baekhyun manages to laugh at that remark, “Mrs Park, that’s not necessary.”

She smiles, sighing fondly as she looks at Baekhyun, “I’ve never seen my son as happy as he is when you’re around. It warms my heart that Chanyeol is so in love that happiness practically radiates from him, y’know? So, whatever’s happening or has happened between you two, if he hurt you, I hope you can forgive him. If it’s not him, then I respect your decision.”

She reaches forward as cups Baekhyun’s cheek in her hand, she strokes it with her thumb, looking at Baekhyun lovingly, like a mother with her son, “Thank you for making him happy all these years - I’m glad he loves the right person.”

Baekhyun feels like he’s going to cry. Mrs Park knows. She realises things even when they tried to hide it from her, even when they tried to lie to her. 

Perhaps she doesn’t get the whole story, but she realises what’s going on. And that alone makes Baekhyun feel so bad.

“Mrs Park…” Baekhyun starts, feeling his heart constrict, “Chanyeol and I…. even though we… I … I love him too. I’ll always love him.” 

Baekhyun curses himself for not being more eloquent, but his heart feels so heavy that he seems to have forgotten to talk properly. Mrs Park lets him take a breather, lets him gather his thoughts.

“I love him too, Mrs Park.” Baekhyun says after a minute, “I don’t want to hurt him in any way, and I can never be mad at him for too long if he hurt me. We’re figuring things out, but it’s not easy. Everything’s just confusing right now.”

“You don’t owe me any explanation, Baekhyun. I know how confusing young love can be. I was young once too, y’know?” she nudges Baekhyun playfully. Baekhyun laughs. “I just want you to know that I love you like you’re my own son, so whatever happened between you and Chanyeol, I hope I don’t lose you too.”

Baekhyun feels tears fall down his cheeks. He quickly wipes it away, turning away from Mrs Park so she doesn’t see how touched he feels that she considers him as her son. Mrs Park realises his action, but she smiles and doesn’t say anything to make the situation awkward. Rather, she turns her gaze from him and enjoys the view of the lake.

And there they stay, until it’s almost afternoon and the weather’s a bit warm. Only then they go back to the hotel, and Baekhyun feels his heart grow heavy at the thought of finally confronting Chanyeol.

////

“Where have you been?” Chanyeol asks the moment Baekhyun walks into the room. 

Chanyeol’s only in his shirt and jeans. He has showered and made up the room, and right now he’s sitting on the couch, a concerned look on his face. Baekhyun almost feels bad that he left without telling Chanyeol where he was. However, he reminds himself he needed to get some fresh air and to clear his head, so he stops himself from feeling bad and just brace himself for what’s going to happen.

“Out. I promised your mom for a walk around the lake, didn’t I?” he says as he makes his way towards Chanyeol. Chanyeol stands up when Baekhyun approaches and Baekhyun stops in his tracks. He feels a little intimidated somehow, suddenly feeling small under Chanyeol’s tall figure. 

He has a feeling that he’s about to get his heart broken.

“Baekhyun, did I - did I do something wrong?” Chanyeol begins. At that, Baekhyun looks up, confused by the question.

“No. Why would you say that?”

“I woke up and you’re not here. I called and texted, you didn’t reply. Then my mom texted me saying that you’re with her but she didn’t tell me where you two were. And she asked me if I made you sad.”

Baekhyun feels his heart fall to his gut when he sees how upset Chanyeol looks.

“Did I do something wrong, Baekhyun? Is this…” he hesitates, devastation clear in his eyes, “Is this about last night?”

“Chanyeol…”

“I’m sorry for everything.” Chanyeol apologizes, “If I hurt you, or made you feel used, or said something wrong last night, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to do all that.”

“You didn’t hurt me, I’m fine. I just… I needed to think, that’s why I left.”

Chanyeol waits for Baekhyun to elaborate.

“Chanyeol…” Baekhyun starts, he needs to get this over with, although his heart hurts, “After all that happened last night, I don’t think we can be friends.”

His words was like a blow to Chanyeol’s face. His eyes water, he looks absolutely devastated. Chanyeol puts a bit of distance between him and Baekhyun, and this action of his hurts Baekhyun too. He wants nothing more than to be Chanyeol’s again, but he doesn’t think that Chanyeol’s on the same page. He doesn’t know what Chanyeol wants.

And he’s afraid to ask.

“Why?” Chanyeol says. He tries to keep his composure but his tone is laced with hurt. His voice quivers, he looks so close to crying, “Why so sudden?”

“Nothing about this is sudden, Chanyeol. You can’t expect us to be friends after all that happened last night. Did you expect that we’d be cool after that? That we’d be best buds?” Baekhyun says crossly, “Just… what did you expect, Chanyeol?”

Chanyeol doesn’t answer.

“What do you want from us?” Baekhyun almost whispers, feeling his heart slowly shatter. He thinks about how Mrs Park says that Chanyeol loves him, and that he’s always loved him. Baekhyun wishes that it’s true, but he can’t risk hoping. The last time he hoped, the last time he wished for a future with Chanyeol, the man broke his heart and left. 

Baekhyun doesn’t want to be broken again.

“I don’t know,” Chanyeol answers. He’s looking at his feet. His voice barely audible. 

Sighing, Baekhyun sits on the couch. The day barely started but he’s already tired. Chanyeol sits next to him and they don’t say anything to one another. They think about what they want from each other, the confusion that they’re facing, the longing that they can’t solve.

“I don’t want to lose you, Baekhyun.” Chanyeol says, “I lost you once, and I don’t want to lose you again.”

“I’m not your property that you can lose and find, Chanyeol.”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it,” Chanyeol snaps, turning his head to look at Baekhyun. Baekhyun refuses to meet his eyes.

“Baekhyun, I can’t lose you again because I don’t know what my life would be without you.” Chanyeol says, “You’ve been such a huge part of my life and-”

“That’s the thing, Chanyeol. Perhaps we’re too dependent on one another. After we broke up, we didn’t put distance between us and pretended that we’re fine. We didn’t let ourselves hurt in our own space. We don’t know how to live without one another because we haven’t been without one another,” Baekhyun explains, surprised at how calm he sounds despite how much his heart hurt, “What does that make us, Chanyeol?”

“In love?”

Baekhyun’s breath hitch, his heart skips a beat. He turns to look at Chanyeol, finding Chanyeol already looking at him.

“Chanyeol, I-”

“I’m in love with you,” Chanyeol says, clearly, bluntly, “I’ve never stopped. I don’t think I will stop. I know you don’t feel the same way, you made it clear that you don’t, but I don’t want what I feel for you become the reason why we have to be distant from one another.”

Baekhyun is speechless. His heart beats crazily in his chest. He feels like he’s going to burst.

Chanyeol loves him. 

_ He loves him. _

And Baekhyun pretty much told him that wanted him  _ out of his life. _

“But if distance is what you want, then I won’t stop you. Just… I want you to know that I love you. And last night meant something to me. I don’t regret a thing.”

Baekhyun doesn’t say anything. He has no idea why words fail him at the moment, but Chanyeol seems to take his silence as agreement, so he, looking dejected, gets up from the couch. Panicked, Baekhyun rises too, pulling Chanyeol’s hand when Chanyeol’s about to walk away.

Chanyeol turns around, confused.

“Baekhyun, what…”

Baekhyun kisses him. He kisses him like his life depends on it. He kisses Chanyeol like he doesn’t know tomorrow, like this is the last time that he’s going to kiss him. He makes this kiss count. He tries to convey everything in that one kiss. The  _ I love you _ . The  _ I miss you. _ The  _ I want you _ . The  _ I never want to live without you again.  _ The _ please don’t leave me. _

Everything. Baekhyun wants Chanyeol to understand.

Chanyeol kisses him back, deepens the kiss like he doesn’t want it to end either. However, after a while, he pulls away, his head spinning from the kiss but he forces his thoughts out anyway, “B-baekhyun, just a moment ago you want me out of your life but now....”

“I thought you didn’t want me.”

“What?” Chanyeol’s eyes widen, “Why in the world would you think that?”

Baekhyun doesn’t know how to explain. 

“I love you too, isn’t that enough?” he meekly says, and when Chanyeol opens his mouth to say something, Baekhyun quickly interrupts, “I thought last night didn’t mean anything to you. You’re emotional after Somin’s wedding. We both were. I thought you saw me as just an outlet to let those emotions go, and last night, I let you in because I’ve loved you for years. I’ve never stopped loving you. I guess I was scared of losing you again, so scared of getting hurt.”

“You think I was going to hurt you?”

“I didn’t know what you’re feeling. I didn’t even know if you still want us.”

“Baekhyun, of course I still want us. I’ve never stopped wanting us.” Chanyeol says, his voice soft, and there’s a smile on his face.

Baekhyun finds himself smiling too. He blushes, “Well, I know that now.”

“You’re so cute, you know that?”

“Shut up,” Baekhyun says, and when Chanyeol smirks, Baekhyun’s face reddens, flustered, “Just shut up and kiss me.”

And that, Chanyeol does.

////

It feels weird when they board the plane that night. Baekhyun thinks it’s surreal how he came to this place feeling stressed out about pretending to be Chanyeol’s boyfriend, but left this place being practically attached to Chanyeol and no longer pretending to be his boyfriend. Funny how everything changes in just a few days.

“You okay?” Chanyeol asks once they settle in their seats. They’re holding hands, Baekhyun has his head on Chanyeol’s shoulder, and for the first time in years, they’re so happy. Baekhyun can’t believe how happy he is.

“I’m just so, so happy,” Baekhyun answers with a smile on his face. He then adds, “I’m just a bit sad that we have to leave that hotel, though. Don’t know when we can go there again.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“I can’t believe I thought of not coming in the first place,” Baekhyun says, “Can you imagine if we didn’t go? We might not…” he looks at their linked hands. Chanyeol nods in understanding.

“Yeah, I know.” he says, and kisses Baekhyun’s forehead. He can’t stop thinking about that too. He’s so glad that things turn out the way they did.

They then sit in silence for a while as they wait for other passengers to settle down. Baekhyun’s ready to just sleep until they reach home, but Chanyeol seems to have other things in mind.

“Baek, I have a confession.”

“Hm?” Baekhyun looks at Chanyeol, “What is it?”

“I told you that I didn’t tell Mom that we broke up because I was too afraid of disappointing her, right?” he says, Baekhyun nods, “Well, that’s not - that’s not entirely true.”

Baekhyun frowns, “You lied to me?”

“No!” Chanyeol quickly says, shaking his head, “No. It _ is _ the truth. I  _ was  _ afraid of disappointing her because she loves you so much - I didn’t want her to know that we didn’t work out, but…” he fidgets under Baekhyun’s questioning stare, “Another reason why I didn’t tell her was because it felt so… final. Once I told her, it would feel like there’s no chance for us. I know it’s pathetic and I sound like a weirdo but that’s how I felt.”

Baekhyun understands. He really does. He was in denial of everything that happened too. He avoided speaking about his relationship with Chanyeol for months after the break up because he didn’t want to feel how real it was. Speaking it out loud, hurt. Admitting it, hurt.

Considering how close Chanyeol is to his family, it must be a terrible kind of hurt, the kind of hurt that Chanyeol refuses to feel. 

Baekhyun understands. Seeing at how guilty Chanyeol looks, he remembers how guilty the man felt when they were about to pretend and lie to his entire family. Baekhyun wants to tell Chanyeol that he doesn’t have anything to worry because his mom knows what’s going on.

But he has a feeling that Mrs Park wouldn’t want Chanyeol to know. He’s not sure if telling it would make Chanyeol feel better  _ or  _ worse - better because now he knows that his mom knows, or worse because now he knows that his mom knows all along. Same situation, different weights.

In the end, Baekhyun chooses to not say anything. After all, what’s past is past. They’re together now. No more lies. No more pretending. What Chanyeol did was tell him the one thing that’s still hanging between them, but now that it’s out of the way, they can move on.

“Why would it feel so final, if I may ask?” Baekhyun says. When Chanyeol doesn’t seem to get it, he further explains, “Why did telling your mom about us make it  _ feel _ final? Like it’s the end?”

“Because my mother knowing about you, keeping up with your career from a distance, asking about you, loving you so much - all that makes me feel so warm” Chanyeol answers calmly, “In a way, you don’t only make me happy. You make my family happy too.”

He then continues, “I didn’t want to take that away from her, so I didn’t tell her. And somehow, a part of me wished that I never had to tell her because I hoped that there’s a chance for us. That we’d get back together, and we’d find a way to love each other again.”

“Chanyeol, that was years ago. So… all these years, you’re just…”

“Waiting for you?” Chanyeol finishes the sentence. He chuckles, and nods, “There’s no getting over you, Baekhyun. I tried so many times, but I could never stop loving you. Back then I felt like I was going to die loving you.”

Baekhyun shakes his head, looking fondly at the man in front of him, “You’re such a drama queen, you know that?”

“Hey! I’m having a moment here!” Chanyeol pretends to be affronted, but they both know that he too, is amused, “But joking aside, if there’s anything that I learnt all those years is that no matter what, I’ll always love you.”

Baekhyun smiles. He learnt the same thing too. He knows that Chanyeol never dated after him, but he thought it’s because he’s focused on his work. He never knew that Chanyeol felt that way until now.

As for him, he dated around a lot. He dated some guys that he liked, tried being in a few relationships, but none worked because he knew that deep inside, he still loves only one person. 

He only loves Chanyeol.

“Now let’s just forget about the past,” Baekhyun leans in and kisses Chanyeol on the lips, “It’s forgotten. I’m here, and I love you. And I want to make this work this time.”

Chanyeol nods, “I wanna make it work too.”

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah.”

Baekhyun smiles, “But first things first, there’s something we need to discuss.”

“Oh?” Chanyeol looks at him questioningly, “And that is…?”

“How the hell are we gonna tell this to Jongin and Sehun?”

////

Jongin leans against the doorframe as he watches Sehun prepare himself a cup of warm milk. Sehun doesn’t notice that he’s there and Jongin doesn’t say anything to indicate his presence there because Sehun seems to be lost in his own thoughts and Jongin doesn’t want to disturb him.

Sehun’s so quiet today. It’s not that he’s usually very chatty, but being his boyfriend for years now, Jongin is in tune with the types of silence that Sehun has. There’s the usual silence, and there’s _ this _ silence. This silence means that something is bothering him and he’s trying his best to solve his internal conflict alone without telling people around him.

Sehun can try to hide his worries from him, but Jongin knows what’s going on. He saw the look in Sehun’s eyes when he saw Chanyeol and Baekhyun at the airport earlier. He felt the same shock, but the difference is he’s happy for Baekhyun and Chanyeol, but Sehun seems to be the exact opposite.

Sehun once told Jongin that despite Baekhyun and Chanyeol’s attempt to be friendly to one another for the sake of him, he still felt the tension. Sehun kept the charade that they played, too scared, too cautious to act up because he might lose their friendship. However, he saw how the break up affected his friends, and it really hurt him to watch them tip toe around each other like that.

Jongin’s not irrational. He understands why Sehun doesn’t like it when Baekhyun and Chanyeol told them at the airport that they had decided to give their relationship another chance. He saw how Sehun tensed. Sehun didn’t say anything afterwards because of shock, so Jongin led most of the conversation and congratulated the couple while worrying about Sehun.

His boyfriend is upset, and it’s his job now to calm him down.

Quietly, Jongin walks into the kitchen and goes towards Sehun. He wraps his arms around Sehun’s waist, pressing his cheek against Sehun’s broad back as he hugs Sehun tightly from behind. Their height difference isn’t much, but Sehun being taller than him makes him feel so safe, and hugging Sehun is one of his favourite things to do in the world.

Sehun tenses at first, but upon realizing it’s Jongin, he relaxes.

“Hey,” Sehun says, smiling as he tries to turn around to face Jongin. Jongin loosens his grip to let Sehun move, but then wraps his arms tightly around Sehun again once they’re face to face.

“Hey,” Jongin replies. They share a look, and Sehun leans forward and gives a chaste kiss on Jongin’s lips.

“What’s wrong?” Sehun asks, “Why aren’t you asleep yet?”

“I was waiting for you.” Jongin sighs as he hugs Sehun, “Come to bed.”

“I’ll be there. Just need to finish this first,” Sehun gestures to his cup of warm milk, “I’ll go to bed after, okay?”

Jongin nods, but he doesn’t let Sehun go.

“Jongin, babe, what’s wrong?”

“I should be asking you that,” Jongin starts, but when he’s met with nothing but confusion from Sehun, he continues, “Baekhyun and Chanyeol? We need to talk about them.”

Sehun’s expression changes. He slowly pulls away from Jongin’s arms.

“Why should we?”

“Sehun, don’t be like this,” Jongin pleads, he hates it when Sehun’s being stubborn, “You’re bothered by them, I can tell.”

“You worry too much, babe,” Sehun defends himself, “I don’t care what they want to do with each other. It’s none of my business.”

“You didn’t say anything the entire drive home from the airport. You didn’t listen to them, practically ignored them. Obviously, you care.”

“Maybe I’m just tired.”

Jongin crosses his arms, “Are you?”

Jongin stares him down, and in the end, Sehun falters and shakes his head. 

He doesn’t lie to Jongin.

“Fine. I don’t think they should get back together, happy?”

“But why?” Jongin asks, “They’re your friends - they love each other. Why aren’t you thrilled?”

“Do I have to be thrilled at everything they do? I mean, they’re my friends, but that doesn’t mean I have to agree with them. Doesn’t mean I have to support them blindly like  _ a fucking idiot _ .”

“Don’t get cross with me,” Jongin says when Sehun’s voice raises. Sehun rolls his eyes and then turns from Jongin, clearly done with this conversation. 

“Fine,” Jongin sighs, “I just wanted to help but if you prefer to sulk like a fucking child, then suit yourself.”

Jongin makes his way to get out of the kitchen, but then Sehun exclaims, “You can’t seriously be mad at me for this?”

Jongin turns, “You know I hate it when you act like this. I wanted to help, but if you don’t want to talk, then fine. It’s not my job to baby you!”

“You’re mad at me because of Chanyeol and Baekhyun. Un-fucking-believable.” Sehun concludes, and Jongin rolls his eyes at that.

“You’re the one who have issues with your friends’ happiness here. You can’t hide from me. I know you’re feeling guilty that you can’t be happy for them, so I’m here to talk to you because you know that no matter what happens, I won’t judge you and would always take your side. You know that, but you still want to be a child. I’m done.”

“Jongin please,” Sehun pleads when Jongin turns to get out of the kitchen. He reaches his long hand to catch Jongin’s arm, and when Jongin stops in his tracks, he quickly wraps his arms around Jongin, pulling him into a tight hug, “Okay, I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. Don’t be mad at me. I shouldn’t take it out on you, I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”

Jongin has his back against Sehun’s front, so he sighs and turns to face his boyfriend. Sehun looks so upset, it hurts Jongin too. So Jongin runs his hand through Sehun’s hair, caressing his head in his attempt to make him calm down.

“I just want to talk.”

Sehun sighs, “I don’t know where to start.”

“You can start with why you think their relationship is gonna fail.” Jongin says bluntly. Sehun’s expression changes, surprised at Jongin’s bluntness. At that, Jongin just shrugs and continues, “I mean, you’re thinking it, right?”

Sehun struggles with himself. On one hand, he doesn’t want to admit it out loud because it feels like a betrayal to his best friends. On the other hand, he really can’t shake off the feeling that this all feels like a deja vu. He’s been thinking about this ever since he saw Chanyeol and Baekhyun came to them with their hands linked, wearing the expressions of contained happiness.

They both looked like they could burst from happiness. Jongin was happy for them, but he couldn’t be like Jongin. 

“I don’t want them to hurt each other again.” Sehun sighs. He’s so tired of the charade. He can’t do it anymore.

“But maybe they won’t hurt each other again,” Jongin chides in, “This is new, Sehun. You can’t let yourself worry about what might happen when it might not even happen.”

“Jongin, they’re gonna fuck up and hurt each other again. You know that, right?”

Jongin frowns, “No. That’s awfully pessimistic…”

“I’m not being pessimistic. I saw how fucked up both of them were when they broke up. I was in the middle of it because Baekhyun’s my childhood friend and Chanyeol’s my best friend. Kinda felt like I had to take sides, and it fucking sucked.”

Jongin remembers that Baekhyun said that he tried so hard to be friends with Chanyeol so that Sehun wouldn’t feel like he needed to take sides. He supposes that that didn’t work because Sehun’s not a child - he’s aware of everything and he notices everything. 

“They try so hard to pretend that they’re okay with one another, but I know them both so well, so I know they’re hurt.” Sehun continues, “But I went along because if that’s how they wanted to cope, then who was I to say anything? It took them a while to get used to each other again. What if this doesn’t work out? I don’t know if I can take watching them like that again.”

“Maybe you wouldn’t have to.” Jongin says good naturedly, “Maybe they’re gonna work things out this time.”

“Jongin, let’s be real here.” Sehun scoffs as he pulls away from Jongin, “I know you like them together, I did too because they made each other so happy, but it’s been years since they broke up. They might never move on from each other, but they’re different people now. No matter what they say, they didn’t let each other into their lives the years following their breakup. They don’t know the changed versions of themselves. It’s not gonna work, Jongin. I hate to admit it, but it’s the truth.”

Jongin doesn’t want to agree with Sehun although he made perfect sense. The years following their breakup, Baekhyun and Chanyeol rarely saw each other without Sehun and Jongin present. With both of them present, there’s only so much that Baekhyun and Chanyeol could say to one another. Jongin knows that they’re rarely alone together, and in times they were, Baekhyun would report back to him about the interaction being awkward as hell. Jongin still remembers Baekhyun’s hesitance about going to Somin’s wedding. It literally happened three days ago - so honestly, all this happens in a flash.

Jongin can’t blame Sehun for being worried. 

However, he can’t stop thinking about how broken Baekhyun was the night he confessed to Jongin about still having feelings for Chanyeol. He remembers the longing in his voice, the pain of it. He knows that Baekhyun wants to be with Chanyeol again because he’s the love of his life. 

And he remembers the times when they all hang out together and when Baekhyun’s not looking, Jongin noticed how Chanyeol’s eyes were always on Baekhyun. He saw the pain and longing in his eyes too.

Jongin thinks that it’s time that the pain for those two to end. They’ve suffered enough.

He doesn’t realize that he’s so lost in his thought until he hears Sehun cleans the mug. Sehun has finished his milk, and now he looks at Jongin, wondering why he’s so quiet all of the sudden.

“You okay?” Sehun asks, caressing Jongin’s cheek, “Look, if you’re worried that I might say these things to them, I won’t. I’m just worried, but I’m not gonna be a dick to them and say that I don’t believe in them.”

“Sehun, I just want them to be happy.”

Sehun smiles, “You always want the best for other people, and that’s why I love you so much.”

“Y’know, I remember when we broke up,” Jongin starts. At that, Sehun’s expression falters, and he wonders why Jongin suddenly brings up  _ their _ past, “I was devastated. I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat. You really fucked me up, Sehun.”

Sehun’s eyebrows furrowed, “And what does that have to do with…”

“And when we find each other again, we’re different people. We took some time apart, worked on ourselves, and now we love each other as better people. I remember everything about you when we first fell in love, your beauty and your flaw - I loved it then, and I love it now. Are you the same person I knew back then? Not really, because both of us have grown since then - but one thing that doesn’t change is that I’m still head over heels in love with you. Every time I look at you, I still feel that pull in my chest when I looked at you for the very first time. After all this time, you still have that effect on me, and no distance can ever change that.”

Sehun feels his heart flutter at Jongin’s words. He feels the same. Their breakups fucked him up so much, but he was a fucked up young adult too - too afraid to commit, too scared of the intensity of his own feelings for Jongin. The distance worked in the sense that it gave him time for him to grow as a person and to reevaluate his priorities in life. From there, he learnt that he couldn’t live without the love of his life. He wanted Jongin. He loved him then, he loves him now.

And he’ll never stop loving him.

So many things to say, but all that came out of his mouth is, “I love you so much.”

Jongin smiles.

“I’m a hopeless romantic, Sehun. I believe that love conquers all. I know that it might sound silly, but if two people really love each other, they’ll give their all to make it work. Like we did,” Jongin says, “So, I know that Baekhyun and Chanyeol will give their all. I have every faith that they’ll succeed.”

He closes their distance and circles his arms around Sehun’s neck, looking up at him with so much love and admiration, “I love you. I don’t want you to worry about them, okay? They’ll be okay. If anything happens, you don’t have to go through that alone. I’ll be here. And… I guess we’ll suffer together.” 

Sehun laughs. 

“I love you,” his forehead rests against Jongin’s, he closes his eyes, ravelling in the warmth of his lover, “I love you so much.”

Jongin smiles, “I love you too.”

////

Baekhyun has no idea what he expected from this relationship. In a way, both him and Chanyeol just dove into the relationship without giving it much thought. All they know is that they love one another and they want to give this relationship another shot. No more of those exes bullshit because they don’t want to date anyone else but each other.

However… that’s pretty much it. 

Granted, it’s amazing at first. Baekhyun doesn’t think he’s had as much sex as he had during the first week of them dating again. It’s like they both couldn’t get enough of one another, like they’d been starved for years and now they could feast as much as they like. Chanyeol could barely get his hands off Baekhyun. They had sex on his bed, his sofa, his office chair when Baekhyun visited him at his office (honestly, the most thrilling moment of Baekhyun’s life), against the door, against the kitchen counter - everywhere. And Baekhyun indulged him because he was insatiable too. On weekends, they didn’t even leave the bedroom.

But sex aside, it’s nice having Chanyeol around again. That first month, Baekhyun found himself feeling so content because of the sense of domesticity. He loved coming home and finding Chanyeol already in the kitchen, whipping up a quick dinner for both of them to enjoy. And he loved the times when he got off work early and went to Chanyeol’s apartment to surprise him with his favourite takeouts.

It’s a beautiful cycle for the first month, but when the second month comes and the honeymoon phase ends, things aren’t as beautiful as ever.

It starts with one bad day when Baekhyun’s collection meets a delay. His staff are stressed out and angry, and he has to answer calls here and there for explanations. Baekhyun has to rush to places to fix things, settle deals with clients, and ensure that everything goes smoothly again. It’s a messy day, so by the end of it, all Baekhyun wants is to go back to Chanyeol and cuddle until he feels better.

However, when he gets to Chanyeol’s place, he’s met with Chanyeol who’s too busy talking on the phone with his friend. He tells Baekhyun that he needs a few minutes for the call, so Baekhyun lets him be and goes to the living room to watch a movie. For some reason Baekhyun finds himself finishing the entire movie alone, and when he goes to Chanyeol’s bedroom, Chanyeol’s in front of his laptop, working. Baekhyun lightly pulls his earphone. From Chanyeol’s wide eyes, he can tell that Chanyeol has completely forgotten that he’s there.

“Did you forget that I’m here?”

Chanyeol gulps, “Sorry - just, after the call, Sehun texted me about the report that I need to finish by tomorrow. I didn’t mean to forget you - you know how I am when I work.”

Baekhyun doesn’t. Back then, no matter how busy Chanyeol was, he would always make time for him. He most certainly would not forget that Baekhyun’s in the apartment. Baekhyun feels stupid for being jealous at a laptop for having Chanyeol’s attention, but he tries to be a good boyfriend and says it’s okay. He expects Chanyeol to comfort him and accompany him to bed, but Chanyeol simply says, “You can spend the night here. I’ll be right with you in a moment, just need to finish this report first.”

And then he’s deaf to the world, including Baekhyun.

Then, it’s the little things that bother Baekhyun. Sometimes Chanyeol won’t answer his calls. When he does, he’s too busy to talk. Sometimes Chanyeol declines his invite to his place, saying that he’s too busy, and when Baekhyun’s at this place, he’s busy with his work.

_ “Give him a break, Baek,” Sehun says when Baekhyun calls to complain, “We’re trying to close a deal, it’s a crucial time because a lot of money is involved. Of course Chanyeol needs everything to be perfect. He’s the project leader after all.” _

Baekhyun is rational. He really is. He knows that things aren’t the same anymore because they both have their careers now. Baekhyun’s been busy too, so there are times when he’s the one who can’t make it to see Chanyeol. But that leads to another problem too.

Baekhyun thought that if they go a week without seeing each other, Chanyeol would miss him like Baekhyun missed him.

When they meet after a week of not talking because they’re too busy with their jobs, Baekhyun feels like he’s going crazy from missing Chanyeol. So much so that he practically jumps Chanyeol the moment he opens the door to Baekhyun’s apartment.

They almost don’t make it to the bedroom.

Later, when they’re lying side by side, chest heaving and skin sweaty from their previous activity, Baekhyun mentions about the week. Chanyeol simply replies, “Has it been a week? I didn’t realize. Time flies, huh?”

What’s that supposed to mean?

Baekhyun sometimes thinks he tries too hard. Perhaps he should be like Chanyeol. Carefree, relaxed - the kind that goes with the flow. But he can’t. He feels like he’s the only one trying. The only one making the effort. 

And he’s tired of it.

All he wants is a boyfriend, but sometimes he feels like he doesn’t have one.

When Chanyeol goes to Japan to close the deal with a client, he doesn’t call Baekhyun as much as Baekhyun would like. Baekhyun understands that he’s probably busy, but how busy can he be that he can’t spend even a minute to update his boyfriend about his day?

The entire situation upsets Baekhyun so much that he doesn’t even bother picking him up at the airport. His pettiness definitely earns himself a scolding from Sehun, but Sehun can’t make him do things that he doesn’t want to do.

However, at night, he finds himself feeling guilty, so he calls Chanyeol to apologize for not being there.

Chanyeol simply replies, “I know you’re busy, Baekhyunnie! I don’t mind at all! It’s not like we’re not gonna see each other this weekend anyway.”

Baekhyun sighs. Alright, he’s being stupid.  _ Why would he want Chanyeol to sulk and ask him why he’s not there? _

“You don’t wanna know why I wasn’t there?”

“Nah, I know you’re busy. Don’t worry,” Chanyeol says, and Baekhyun hears him moving some papers around, “Y’know, I’m a bit busy right now. I’ll text you later, okay?”

Baekhyun wants to scream. Chanyeol literally just got back from Japan and he’s already working and can’t spend even a minute to talk to Baekhyun.

Gritting his teeth, Baekhyun says, “Alright. I lov-”

The line dies.

////

“You look sad,” Jongin states, stopping Baekhyun’s daydream. Baekhyun didn’t even realise that he’s so lost in his own thoughts that he failed to acknowledge Jongin earlier. 

The whole ordeal with Chanyeol occupies his mind all the time because he feels suffocated being in a relationship in which he feels like he’s the only one trying. He sometimes feels like he’s not in a relationship at all.

He wonders if he’s truly happy.

“What makes you say that?” Baekhyun asks, but his tone gives it away. His voice sounds shrill, a little shaken, a clear indicator that he’s trying to hide something. And Jongin has known him enough to call him on his bluff.

“What’s wrong, Baekhyun?” Jongin questions as he stirs the kimchi soup he’s boiling on the stove. Baekhyun came here for dinner because he’s too lazy to get take outs and Jongin just coincidentally called him asking to visit because he’s cooking and Jongin loves cooking more than Sehun and him could eat.

So here Baekhyun is, sitting on the kitchen stool as he waits for Jongin to finish cooking.

“It’s not a big deal,” Baekhyun shrugs, “Just stuff with Chanyeol.”

“What about him?”

Baekhyun doesn’t know if he should talk about this. After all, he hasn’t talked to Chanyeol about this, so is it right for Jongin to know? Perhaps not.

But then again, if he tells Chanyeol about this, he might say that Baekhyun’s looking too deeply into things - that is, if he has the time to talk to him at all. Baekhyun feels like he’s going crazy from frustration, and he needs someone to listen and pay attention for once.

And Jongin’s paying attention.

“If I tell you, promise me you won’t talk to Sehun about this.” Baekhyun sighs, “Not that I want to exclude him - just, it’s complicated.”

At that, Jongin turns to look at him, “Baek, what’s going on?”

Baekhyun feels his heart grow heavier, he feels like he can’t breathe. The weight of Jongin’s stare is heavy on him, but despite all that, Baekhyun musters the strength to tell Jongin what’s bothering him these past weeks.

“I don’t think this relationship is working out.”

Jongin almost drops his spoon out of shock, but he quickly gets a grip, “What?”

Jongin can’t believe his ears.  _ What? _

“It’s hard to be in a relationship when you’re the only one who makes the effort. That’s all I’ve been doing these days - putting effort only to have it _ not  _ reciprocated by my own  _ fucking  _ boyfriend,” Baekhyun says through gritted teeth, the frustration he feels pours out little by little, “I can’t be with someone who constantly neglects me and expects me to wait for him like a doormat. I’m better than that.”

Jongin realises that this is serious. So, he quickly puts the stove on low heat for the soup to simmer. Then, he turns to focus on Baekhyun.

“Baek, I know you’re angry. You sound angry, but think ‘bout what you just said. This is Chanyeol we’re talking about. Chanyeol loves you - why the hell would he neglect you?”

“I ask myself the same question.” Baekhyun says, “But the truth is that I feel neglected. It’s like he’s not the same Chanyeol I knew anymore. Chanyeol back then would never do this to me. If there’s anything, he’d tell me straight away. He wouldn’t leave me on read. I would spend some time telling me what’s going on with him. We lead different lives, but he’d make sure that I’m a part of that. Now… now I feel like a stranger looking in - and I shouldn’t feel like that because I’m his boyfriend.”

“Baekhyun, Sehun told me that things are hectic at work these days, so Chanyeol’s affected too. Maybe he’s just too busy to talk…”

“Sehun takes the time to talk to you. Sehun makes sure that you’re in the loop and you know why he’s so busy. You see him every day but you don’t feel left out on his life. I’m busy too, but I always make time for him!” Baekhyun is now so frustrated that a sob leaves him, his eyes water, “I feel alone most of the time, and I shouldn’t feel like that. Not when I have Chanyeol.”

“Baek, he’s still your Chanyeol. You can’t compare yourself to me and Sehun. Sehun and I live together, so of course I know what’s going on with him. Things are different between you and Chanyeol. You two had just started dating again, you’re still figuring things out.”

“Are we? Or is it just me? Because Chanyeol certainly cares more about his office than his own boyfriend.” Baekhyun says. He puts his face in his palm, “God, I sound like child.”

Jongin sighs. He doesn’t know what to say to comfort Baekhyun.

“Chanyeol’s so nonchalant about everything but his work. He’s taking this way too easy. We don’t talk much. We either have sex or watch tv. Sometimes, when there’s rare instances when we had the chance to talk, it was only for a while before he had to answer calls. Sometimes, we don’t know what to say to one another. It’s like our chemistry is gone.”

“Baek, you need to talk to him about this, not me.” Jongin starts, and at that, Baekhyun lets out a cry.

“You’re not listening!” Baekhyun cries, “We don’t talk. I don’t know how to start this conversation, and I’m tired of being the only one who tries. What did he do in this? Nothing!”

“You haven’t talked to him about this, you haven’t tried to, so how can you solve it?” Jongin tries to make Baekhyun see sense. He knows how emotional Baekhyun can get sometimes when he feels wronged, so he tries to calm him down.

“I don’t know. I don’t remember us being this difficult so I just - I don’t know. Maybe we were living in a fantasy when we dated. Maybe I was in love with the old version of Chanyeol. Maybe I just…. Am not….”

He cuts his words off. He refuses to say it. He can’t say it. 

But Jongin seems to get it the moment Baekhyun says that he might be in love with the  _ old  _ version of Chanyeol. It’s what Sehun’s worried about, and Jongin can’t believe that Sehun might be right about this.

“Baekhyun, are you still in love with him or not?”

Baekhyun doesn’t answer.

////

“So, what’s the occasion?” Sehun asks as Chanyeol gets into his car. They’re carpooling today and it’s Sehun’s turn to drive. Sehun eyes the box of chocolates in a heart-shaped box in Chanyeol’s hand, “Anniversary?”

“No,” Chanyeol replies sheepishly, “Just thought I’d do something nice for my boyfriend, y’know?”

_ Boyfriend.  _ Chanyeol smiles.

It still feels unreal to him that Baekhyun and him are dating again. He spent years longing for Baekhyun, but now he doesn’t have to anymore. They’re back together and they’re stronger than ever. 

Baekhyun’s been wonderful and sweet throughout everything. Chanyeol knows that dating him isn’t easy because his schedules are crazy. Chanyeol’s schedule comes in spurts - sometimes he’s so busy that he can barely focus on anything other than his job, sometimes everything’s normal and he has a life again. 

It just so happens that these past few weeks were the busiest moments of his life - all because of the project that the company’s working on. The whole planning and executing the project causes him to barely has the time for Baekhyun. However, Chanyeol feels so lucky that Baekhyun is understanding. He doesn’t pressure Chanyeol into paying attention to him when Chanyeol needs to work. He gives Chanyeol his space and understands that Chanyeol’s career is important without Chanyeol having to say it out loud. In a way, Chanyeol thinks that they have matured from their younger selves, hence he feels so good about where this relationship is going.

“So… you and Baekhyun. You two are okay?” Sehun hesitantly asks, glancing at Chanyeol before returning his focus back on the road. Chanyeol nods. 

“We’re better than ever.”

Sehun’s eyebrows furrow. He doesn’t believe that at all, especially after the erratic calls that he got from Baekhyun these past weeks. However, Sehun remembers his conversation with Jongin, and he knows how important this relationship is to both his friends, so Sehun keeps his mouth shut.

“I know that you think that this relationship is sudden, Sehun,” Chanyeol starts. Sehun feels his heartbeat pick up at that, nervous that his friend realises that he’s not keen on this whole thing at all. But Chanyeol is calm. He doesn’t seem to be annoyed at all, “I see your face when we told you that we’re back together.”

“Chanyeol, what I feel doesn’t matter.”

“You’re our friend - of course it matters,” Chanyeol says, his eyes on Sehun, “Look, maybe we rushed into this, but I can tell you that we both love one another, and it’s going to work this time. I won’t hurt Baekhyun again, if that’s what you’re worried about. I promise.”

Sehun sighs, “I don’t want both of you to hurt each other.”

“And we won’t”

_ How do you know that? _ Sehun wants to ask.  _ You’re not on the same page as each other for the past few weeks. Baekhyun doesn’t think he can confide in you about how he feels, and you’re not sensitive to his behaviour and need. How? How’s any of this going to work? _

_ And how is any of this my business? _

“Alright, if you say so,” Sehun finally says, deciding to not push the topic further because it has been a long day and the last thing he needs is to listen about someone else’s relationship. 

All he wants is to go back to his loving boyfriend and forget about this hectic week. Jongin’s making dinner and he tells Sehun to bring Chanyeol too. It’s been a while  since he got to eat his boyfriend’s cooking, so Sehun can’t wait to get home.

The rest of the ride is silent except for certain moments when Chanyeol hums along with his favourite songs on the radio. Sehun cherishes this moment. One of his favourite things about his friendship with Chanyeol is that they can sit in silence for hours and enjoy each other’s company without saying anything. Chanyeol is such an important figure in Sehun’s life - they work well together, they understand each other, and they are so alike that they might as well be real brothers. They resolve their conflict quickly and they never hold grudges against each other. Sehun is comfortable with him, considers him one of his closest friends, hence, it is natural for him to be protective of Chanyeol.

He’s one of the best people Sehun has ever known. Sehun just wants him to be happy.

They reach Sehun’s place a few minutes later. When they get into the apartment, Sehun notices that Baekhyun’s coat is already on the coat rack, indicating that he’s already here. He hears Jongin talking to someone in the kitchen too, thus he assumes that both of them are in the kitchen. Chanyeol hears the same, so, smiling excitedly, he walks towards the kitchen.

As they approach the kitchen, the sounds of the chatter gets clearer and it’s obvious that Baekhyun’s crying. Sehun and Chanyeol freeze in their tracks and look at each other.

What’s going on?

_ “Baek, he’s still your Chanyeol. You can’t compare yourself to me and Sehun. Sehun and I live together, so of course I know what’s going on with him. Things are different between you and Chanyeol. You two had just started dating again, you’re still figuring things out.” _

_ “Are we? Or is it just me? Because Chanyeol certainly cares more about his office than his own boyfriend. God, I sound like child.” _

Sehun feels blood leave his face. He sees that Chanyeol’s no longer smiling, his face devoid of the happiness he felt moments ago. 

Sehun wants nothing more than to barge in and stop Baekhyun, but when he tries to, Chanyeol stops him.

The conversation goes on, much to Sehun’s dismay. The longer it goes, the more devastated Chanyeol looks. Sehun wants to put a stop to this, but Chanyeol’s grip of his hand it so strong that it’s starting to hurt. Chanyeol clearly doesn’t want him to go anywhere.

_ “Baek, you need to talk to him about this, not me.” _

_ “You’re not listening! We don’t talk. I don’t know how to start this conversation, and I’m tired of being the only one who tries. What did he do in this? Nothing!” _

_ “You haven’t talked to him about this, you haven’t tried to, so how can you solve it?”  _

_ “I don’t know. I don’t remember us being this difficult so I just - I don’t know. Maybe we were living in a fantasy when we dated. Maybe I was in love with the old version of Chanyeol. Maybe I just…. Am not….” _

That is it for Sehun. Everything that he fears comes true because Chanyeol’s eyes water. Tears fall down his pearly cheeks. He looks devastated beyond belief and Sehun is torn between confronting Baekhyun or comforting Chanyeol.

_ “Baekhyun, are you still in love with him or not?” _

Baekhyun doesn’t answer after that, and that seems to be enough of an answer for Chanyeol. He lets Sehun’s hand go and turns to walk away. Alarmed, Sehun tries to stop him, but Chanyeol simply mutters “let me go,” and swats Sehun’s hand, his force a little too strong due to his anger so he ends up pushing Sehun too strongly. 

Sehun staggers back and hits the table by the wall. The vase on the table falls, shatters on the floor. 

The sound is enough to get Baekhyun and Jongin’s attention as both of them quickly get out to find the source of the sound. Sehun sees the horror in Jongin and Baekhyun’s eyes when they see both Sehun and Chanyeol there.

It’s the longest silence of Sehun’s life. Baekhyun and Chanyeol are looking at each other, their expressions indecipherable. Jongin nervously looks back and forth between the two of them before throwing a look at Sehun. Sehun knows that Jongin wonders whether he should say something, so Sehun shakes his head. 

No, there’s no way to salvage this.

And just as Sehun expects, Chanyeol turns around and walks out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I am sorry that it takes such a long time for me to write this chapter, but my life has been crazy hectic and I rarely get the time to write anymore. I'm in the final weeks of the semester, so I have a loooot of things to complete, and I've been stressed out and basically not in a good headspace for writing.
> 
> Anyway, here's the new chapter! I hope you like it! We have one more chapter before everything ends, so any prediction of the ending? Do you think they'll find a way to fix this? Or do you think they're done for good now? What do you think of Sehun's character? Is he wrong or is he right? Any prediction for the next chapter? (Hint: One character will make a re-appearance. Can you guess who?)
> 
> Let me know your thoughts! I would love to talk to you! Talk to me here or @silverbyuns on Twitter. Thank you so much for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Ummm, hi? So, this is my very first Chanbaek fic so hello! It's been a while since I last written anything so I'm sorry if the language is a bit wonky lol. But I love Chanbaek and I really enjoyed writing this chapter. This story will have 5-6 chapters in total (however, this is just an estimation). Not too long, so don't worry!
> 
> I guess that's all for now! Lemme know what you think! And do come talk to me on Twitter (@ninisbabygirl) if you'd like! I'd love to be friends!


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